Back for a visit

[onthemark]

Hi Everyone,

 

I joined awhile ago but took a break for awhile. Sorry to see the QSMB is down again and from the sound of it, might be permanent. Anyway just wanted to let those who know me hear that I'm still alive.

[jillar]

Hi onthemark, it's great to see you! Hope you're doing well

[johnny5]

Nice to hear from you, OTM.

[beazel]

Hi onthemark - so glad you popped in!

[Pearlie]

Happy to see you, onthemark!  You have been missed!!  Hope that you are not only alive but thriving!  

[Jordan7]

Otm, it's truly wonderful to see you!   I second Pearlie's hope that you are thriving and would love to hear how you are doing!

[Wee fluffy me]

Hi onthemark, great to see you 

[Octain]

Hey onthemark,

Been a while.. where ya been? 

Usually when someone disappears, well you know…

Glad to see you’re back. Hang around for a while.

[Whispers]

Holla, hope all is well

[onthemark]

Nice to see some of my old friends from QSMB and new quitter friends on QT. Besides having my son, quitting is the best thing I ever did. I forgot to mention that my quit is strong and I've not had any relapse. I go for long periods of time without ever thinking about cigs or that I was a smoker who quit on July 14, 2015. Really proud of that as I know you all are too with your quits. KTQ. Not one puff ever!

 

I was one of those unfortunate people who was diagnosed with lung cancer after I quit smoking. My mother, who never smoked, died early of cancer so after I quit, I asked for a bunch of checks including, finally, a chest xray. I didn't have any symptoms and that xray caught a 2 cm lung cancer that was operated and then I had chemo too. Still happy to be alive.

 

I wrote a lot about my lung cancer journey and got great support during that time at the QSMB, and I am grateful for that.

Edited March 14, 2018 by onthemark

[Octain]

Oh wow. Crazy. Glad you’re still with us. It really is true, things happen for reason…

[Reciprocity]

Welcome back OTM! Glad to know you're still kicking and enjoying life as a non-smoker. We have all done the best thing we can do for ourselves. KTQ!

[onthemark]

Some days I wish I could forget all about ever having lung cancer. I haven't figured out how to put it behind me and just get on with living life. This disease is one of the scariest consequences of smoking and some ex-smokers will one day get diagnosed too, sorry to say that. The risk is lower the less years you have smoked. 

 

So the best thing you can do is either get a chest xray regularly or, what is much better, a low dose ct scan. Lung cancer, if it is caught early, well you have a chance to live for a long time whereas if it is only caught when a person has symptoms then it is a different story.

[Stewie]

Scary stuff. Im such a puss* if i was diagnosed with that i would cry like a little bitch. But the treatment would begin and the earth would continue to spin. Glad you kicked it lad, stay quit!

Edited March 14, 2018 by MrTitwank

[PeaceTrain]

I'm so sorry you had such a harrowing experience.  You are right though... smoking is risky behavior.  As addicts, we tune out of the risks so we can continue smoking.  Thanks for your post- Such a wake-up call to everyone to be vigilant about our health even after quitting.  Best wishes, PeaceTrain

[Doreensfree]

Hi and welcome aboard...I'm sorry to hear you have had a rough journey... But are making great progress...

You are amongst friends here old and new !!!

[NADA]

Hi Maya.....so glad you checked in.  I've thought of you a few times since your last visit.  Smoking has such profound consequences and the details of your experience had an impact on many people......so, thanks for sharing.  I know that cancer had a devastating effect on your life.  I do hope that those awful times are replaced with happy and wonderful things moving forward.

[onthemark]

It's so nice to see my old buddies at qsmb like Jordan7, Pearlie, Whispers, Johnny5 and Jillar and my new buddies here too. I was just so glad I had quit. It literally saved my life so far because there's no way I would've got tested if I was still smoking. And you're absolutely right PeaceTrain how so many smokers live in a state of denial about the risks and only find out when it is too late. I had many failed attempts before my final quit and I really do believe the difference was the online support and the education about all the lies of nicotine addiction that I had believed for so many years. It's funny that nowadays the place that reeks the most of stale cigarette smoke is the waiting room for chemotherapy, which I finished a year and a half ago.

Edited March 14, 2018 by onthemark

[Reciprocity]

Unfortunately, there are some who will never see themselves as potential victims of this deadly addiction. Denial is much easier than making the effort to change your life for the better!

[Giveintowin]

Nice to see you OTM. I missed you when you had a break but I understood why you did. Glad you are still around. How is your health?

 

[onthemark]

Hey Give,

 

Thanks for asking. I'm doing ok. I have some long term side effects from chemotherapy that are more bothersome than the lingering uncomfortableness from the surgical scar underneath my breast. That is the only one that causes mild discomfort.

 

There's no indication I have advancing cancer. I had some residual ground glass lesions (that's the appearance on ct) in my lungs that have remained stable. They took out the one that had a solid part and was growing. The others are either benign, pre-cancerous or very slow growing cancer.  There's nothing to do about them except watch and wait.  The hardest part is actually the mental part. I can go for months and forget all about it but some days I'm quite worried. My lung function though is excellent, even though I smoked for 35 years and have only 3/4 of my lungs left.

[Giveintowin]

22 minutes ago, onthemark said:

Hey Give,

 

Thanks for asking. I'm doing ok. I have some long term side effects from chemotherapy that are more bothersome than the lingering uncomfortableness from the surgical scar underneath my breast. That is the only one that causes mild discomfort.

 

There's no indication I have advancing cancer. I had some residual ground glass lesions (that's the appearance on ct) in my lungs that have remained stable. They took out the one that had a solid part and was growing. The others are either benign, pre-cancerous or very slow growing cancer.  There's nothing to do about them except watch and wait.  The hardest part is actually the mental part. I can go for months and forget all about it but some days I'm quite worried. My lung function though is excellent, even though I smoked for 35 years and have only 3/4 of my lungs left.

Thanks for sharing OTM. you’ve been through a lot. I understand about the fear, having illness myself. I heard someone say once that cancer takes away the innocence of thinking by you’re not going to die. 

 

You our may not feel it and may not want to be known as this but you are so strong. PM me anytime. 

[Rozuki]

Hi OTM....sorry to hear about your bout with lung cancer....but it does help to hear your story! Best wishes that it doesn't any go any further!

Edited March 15, 2018 by Rozuki

[onthemark]

On 3/14/2018 at 6:01 PM, reciprocity said:

Unfortunately, there are some who will never see themselves as potential victims of this deadly addiction. Denial is much easier than making the effort to change your life for the better!

 

You're so right reciprocity. Addiction and denial go hand in hand and one feeds the other and vice versa. Something like 50% of all smokers will die because of smoking and that doesn't even count the ones whose health will notably suffer even if they don't die because of it. So it is a killing addiction.

 

I thought I had quit early enough (age 52) to avoid the worst consequences of smoking but that turned out not to be the case. I remember when I was 40 reading that if I quit at 40 I'd very likely be ok, but I just breezed through that marker for another decade.

 

And then I was 50.

 

I believed the lie for a long time that I was too addicted to quit. But I did eventually quit with the help on an online support forum where I got educated about how to quit, what the lies of nicotine addiction are and how to handle the crises moments in my quit so as not to get pulled back into the dark pit of addiction.