50 shades of grey (Pam Ayres)

[despair not]

 ·

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;......
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

 

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

 

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

 

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

 

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

 

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

 

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

 

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

 

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

 

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!

[notsmokinjo]

Woz comin in to slam onea the worst writen books I neva finished readin an instead I'm cackin meself.

[JB 883]

I heard my name.

[Sslip]

It's all the better if you can hear Pam Ayres' voice reading it!

[Wee fluffy me]

^^ YUP

[Lin-quitting]

That.....was awesome. Thanks despair not.