2m 2d 21h

[Gabes]

Hey Everybody,

Ex-QSMB Member, glad I found you guys.

 

Quick update for my QSMB buddies and my soon to be new QuitTrain friends.

 

Made it to two months, hardly any cravings anymore. I got drunk a couple of times, DID NOT SMOKE!!! but it was torture. My wife is still hanging on but just barely, she's lapsed with a couple of puffs in the last weeks. She wants to smoke again, I know it, I think I'm the only reason she is not doing it, but I don't want her to feel forced, if I'm being honest I don't want to be around smoke in my house and I feel that if she starts smoking again it's going to be a problem.

 

For you quitters that have partners that smoke, how do you handle it?

 

Glad to be here. I had one SOS while QSMB was down and I didn't know who to turn to. I got through it but damn, I needed the forum.

Edited March 6, 2018 by Gabes

[Reciprocity]

Welcome to the Train Gabes

Yeah - take a look around here and let us know if you have any questions. I think you'll find you're right at home pretty quickly. Lots of your old friends from QSMB here.

 

On the SOS thing, we have an SOS page here. There you will also find a thread called "Prerespond to Your Own SOS. This is where you can write yourself a note then go read it when you're feeling weak. Remind yourself WHY you are quitting. That can help too, in addition to messages from others.

 

See you around - I'm sure you'll want to celebrate Lin-quitting's 1 Year Anniversary today. It's on the main Quit Smoking Discussion page

Edited March 6, 2018 by reciprocity

[jillar]

Gabes!!! It's so good to see that you found us, congratulations on two months quit!    I'm sorry about not being there for you when you had your SOS. You should be so proud of yourself though for getting past it We have had lots of members with smoking partners and while I know it would be extremely hard I think you just have to keep reminding yourself of all the reasons you quit. Ask your wife to smoke outside or in the garage. My hubby is a never smoker but after we started dating I only smoked outside out of respect for him. Ask her to do the same for you. 

I really think it just boils down to the reasons you quit and are staying quit. Remember, you have to want to quit MORE than you want to smoke, do that and I'm sure you will succeed. I'm thrilled you found us and we will be here if you need us  

Edited March 6, 2018 by jillar

[Reciprocity]

I was the opposite Gabes - I still smoked after my wife quit years ago. I did try and be as considerate as possible though and smoked outside and would not smoke in the car when she was with me (that was hard on long trips). Hopefully, your wife will respect your position if she does start up again. Best case situation ...... she finds a way and the will to stay quit

[Joe7]

Hi Gabes 

Glad you found us here. You are going to see a lot of familiar people here. 

 

Congratulations on your 2 months and getting past your sos moment. 

[Martian5]

Welcome aboard Gabes, glad you found your way over here with the others from your old forum.  Good to stay strong through your recent difficulties -- must have been hard without your quit buddies so I am glad you made it over here, shows you have the commitment.  Looks like we quit at the same time.  I do not have a partner like you have and in your situation but the only thing I can offer is that she also is trying to quit, hopefully you can be an example for her.

[Nancy]

Welcome, Gabe!!  So glad you found us.

[Doreensfree]

Hi and welcome aboard...so glad you found us...

Yes ..your with alot of your old friends...but have also found new ones...

Have a good look around ..there is lots of good info to help you along...

Give yourself a big pat on the back..for staying strong...

Only you can make the choice to not smoke...even if your wife relapses.....this is your baby...nurture it well....

Maybe your wife will see how you are doing ,and follow you...

You can do it...you have a train load of folks behind you !!!

[despair not]

Hi Gabes

 

Glad you caught the right train .

 

Welcome, what kept you?

 

Why not get your wife/partner to join too ?

[beazel]

Hi Gabes - so happy to see you!! I wish we could have been there for your SOS, it's so great that you made it through with your quit intact!!!

 

My husband quit in 1980 and I always smoked outside and not in his car. (But I do have the guilt of a million smokey kisses )

[barry]

Welcome @Gabes!  Glad you made your way over here too!

[Giveintowin]

Hi Gabes, welcome.

[Octain]

Hello Gabes.

My wife still smokes. It stinks! No, I mean literally, it smells bad. She knows it, I let her know it. But I don’t give her a really hard time about continuing to smoke.

I decided early on that this is MY Quit. I quit for me. Not her.  My personal choice. If she chooses to continue to smoke then that is her choice. 

 

Welcome to quittrain

[Gabes]

Thanks for the support everybody. I'm glad I made it here. 

 

3 hours ago, despair not said:

Welcome, what kept you?

 

Why not get your wife/partner to join too ?

 

I was waiting for QSMB to magically come back, after I realized it wasn't i googled for other forums, when I clicked on this one I noticed all of our QSMB friends were joining. 

My wife doesn't speak english, I've tried to explain everything that I've learned but it hasn't worked as well

 

5 hours ago, jillar said:

Gabes!!! It's so good to see that you found us, congratulations on two months quit!    I'm sorry about not being there for you when you had your SOS. You should be so proud of yourself though for getting past it

 

Yes, I missed you guys... It's OK, I got through it, I should've known better, I went out and got drunk, but It was my birthday and I had to celebrate. ha.

 

 

17 minutes ago, Octain said:

My wife still smokes. It stinks! No, I mean literally, it smells bad. She knows it, I let her know it.

 

It does, it really does, she quit a couple of weeks after me. Those two weeks were not good.

 

 

[Octain]

The smell of smoke in the air doesn’t bother me. It’s odd. But the smell on her person stinks. That is the worst.

We work conflicting schedules, so that may be a help.   We only see each other a couple hours a day during the week. 

 

[Rozuki]

Hi Gabes!  Glad you found your way over with no damage to your quit! I think the 2018 qsmb gang here will like the fact they can get their logo now!

[johnny5]

Glad you found us, Gabes.  I'm sorry for the rough SOS moment you had without the board but I'm glad you fought your way through it.

[Lin-quitting]

Hi Gabes, I'm also glad you've found your way here to us and still quit.

 

You can't quit for your wife. It's too bad that it has to be that way, but it is. You are quitting for yourself and yourself only. You have your own excellent reasons for quitting. You are committed to quitting. So what anyone else in the world does around you really doesn't matter.

 

If your wife smokes, then maybe you will have to be her good example. It's all you can do, quit for yourself but show her what life can be as a nonsmoker. Be strong, be tough. And hope that she sees how much better her life and health could be in joining you. It's all we can do with our loved ones.

 

2 m 2d 21h Gabe: you are on your way! You can do this. Talk to your wife about your quits.....and then keep up your work!

 

 

[Mollie1]

Congratulations on protecting your quit.  Whenever I am around another person who is still smoking, it helps to remember that I am CHOOSING to not smoke.   Don’t let anyone or anything become more important than the decision right now to choose to not smoke.  The moment will pass & you will feel (as you already do) so proud of yourself for making the right choice.  

[brand.new.ela]

Hi Gabes! I want to tell you that I'm very proud of you, of your strength and keeping the quit when you had a rough moment and we weren't there to support you. You are strong and determined, these are important qualities. Keep them to show your wife how great life as a non smoker is. Don't nag, don't complain, probably you remember yourself how much smokers hate those preachers. Be a good example and I hope she will follow you.

[barry]

I consider myself fortunate that no one that lives with me smokes.  However, smokers are EVERYWHERE!  Part of this journey is identifying and dealing with things that are "triggers" or reminders of smoking.  It's a challenge, for sure.  But, it's a hurdle we all must clear!  Just say NOPE!  SNOT!  And do what you normally do when cravings or urges hit...go for a walk, go to the gym, take a nap, drink cold water, all of the above! :-)

You''re doing great Gabes!  Keep it up!  Glad you found us here!

[Gabes]

Thanks everyone again for your support.

 

We had a talk yesterday and I'm convinced that she doesn't want to smoke but she is struggling a lot with cravings, specially when we have a couple of beers. She'll get there.

 

 

[Sslip]

Gabes, great that you have made it across here with quit intact and way to go on completing 2 months. It's not quite the same with me and my wife in that she doesn't smoke any longer, but still vape and has no intention of stopping. It can be quite torturous and she doesn't understand why I'm struggling with giving up all nicotine. This quit is for me though. My choice. My decision. I'm clear in my own mind on that. I can smoke, but I don't want to. 

 

Keep strong mate, you're doing a great job. 

[catlover]

Keep strong and committed Gabes. My husband smokes, and last time I quit, he quit too, as he did,nt want to be outdone! This time he has kept smoking though,  I know he wants to stop, and I feel I am being that example to him, and believe he will stop soon.

I dont like the smell on him, and when he combines it with coffee I have to turn my head. Not so many goodnight kisses ( Quick peck no snogs lol)   now as he has a smoke before bed hope he quits again soon.

 

Keep with it

Edited March 7, 2018 by catlover

[Reciprocity]

34 minutes ago, Sslip said:

 This quit is for me though. My choice. My decision. I'm clear in my own mind on that. I can smoke, but I don't want to. 

 

 

This is where you have to get to in order to keep your quit permanently! It needs to be your choice - not some obligatory thing. You need to get to the point where you willingly make the choice each day not to smoke. Then ...... it's easy!