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Did the penny drop for you?


Jonny5

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I remember that I was going through the motions, telling myself that I wasn't giving up anything etc etc, just like Allen Carr told me.  and I remember thinking , ok yeh, I can buy into this, I can look at things from a more positive perspective.  I was prepared to follow the don't smoke instructions, but I did suspect Allen Carr was just trying to point out the obvious, and that made me feel a little patronised, but he was telling the truth, don't smoke and you are a non smoker.. well yeh of course.

 

I had already decided that I was going to see this thing through, I wasn't going to give in this time.

 

but the penny didn't drop until day 18 for me.  I remember clearly.  I was sat in this same chair that I am now.  I was in the foulest of moods, I was snapping at my wife for no reason, it was not like me at all.

 

I stood up and said to her, " I'm sorry, I'm being an A hole to you."  she said "it's fine, you are going through a hard time quitting."

 

I was embarrassed and didn't like the situation one bit.  And I said to her "I'm going to stop being a moaning b**tard right this minute, because I'm fed up of being that guy.

 

and in an instant I wasn't that guy any more.  I did have control over me. and over how I was reacting to quitting smoking. I believe part of me had still felt I was giving up something before that moment.

 

I was still experiencing craves quite badly on that day, but right after the conversation with my wife, I stood up and faced one of the craves.  and I actually said out loud, come on then, do your worst, give me your best shot, because I'm not going to smoke, so go ahead and punish me. kill me, or whatever it is that you've been threatening.

 

of course nothing happened.  nothing does happen.  but the moment I realise that, is the moment that everything happened.  I was free.  my tormentor had no weaponry that could harm me ever again, it was all just fear.

 

that was the day I started saying to myself and others, "what's the worst thing that could happen if you don't smoke?"

 

and it was the day that I realised that Allen Carr was a genius, the simplicity of his method blew away all of the rubbish that I had accumulated over the years, the rubbish that stood in the way of my path to freedom.

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Jonny, you're one of those people that when I first saw you at a quit smoking forum, I knew instantly you were gonna be a winner and own your quit... and you sure did not disappoint!

 

It's amazing how soon you became comfortable with your quit... 18 days is nothing when you look back, huh?  I remember you were always trying to help others, some would listen, some would get mad, but one thing was constant: you have always spoken the truth, and you have my respect for that!

 

Suz :)

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Jonny, you're one of those people that when I first saw you at a quit smoking forum, I knew instantly you were gonna be a winner and own your quit... and you sure did not disappoint!

 

It's amazing how soon you became comfortable with your quit... 18 days is nothing when you look back, huh?  I remember you were always trying to help others, some would listen, some would get mad, but one thing was constant: you have always spoken the truth, and you have my respect for that!

 

Suz :)

 

Thank you Suz, I remember being in complete awe of the olde phartes and looking up to you all, desperate to prove myself, I remember being so proud when Breath invented the term Young Pharte just for me :-)  I felt accepted into the gang :-)  thanks for mentoring me Suz, you still help me fine tune myself and add much to my quit, and I'm happy to call you my friend :-)

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I think we all try and over-complicate things don't we.  The 1 single thing that made me quit was the one liner "don't put something in your mouth and light it", delivered on day minus 1 to me.  2nd best line "smoking is not on the table". Even with these gems from these good people I still think I can be a bit of an A hole at 6 weeks lol, 18 days is really great to work out the being reasonable thing!! 

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Couldn't tell you the day...and in fairness there are days when I've got it - and then others not so much...

 

But I do remember little minutes / moments..

 

Moments where I could smoke..."nobody would know....actually - I don't want to"...those moments make me smile!

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The penny dropped for me in a different way.

 

I was forced to change to vaping (financial reasons) and weeks in the cigarette withdrawal kicked in, holy crap...so poorly. A vetran vaper pointed out to me (as I was kicking off that vaping was a pile of crap!) That the only reason I was having this physical crap going on was because I had smoked, not because I wasn't now smoking, and the penny dropped. Gritted my teeth, reseached the crap added to cigs and knew I would never allow myself to smoke again.

 

That then changed to never even wanting to smoke again, to sorting out getting to zero nicotine (walk in the part compared to cigarette withdrawal) and knowing I don't even need to vape again. Different segments but solid in every segment....happy days.

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