May the Irish forgive me (((Sue)))

[Ladybug]

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. 

 

"Hello, Mr. President!" a heavily accented voice says, "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland... I'm ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you. 

 

"Well, Paddy," the President replied, "This is indeed important news. How big is your army?" 

 

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there's meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven." 

 

The President paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

 

"Begorra!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." 

 

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again: "Mr. President, the war is still on. We've managed to get us some infantry equipment!" 

 

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" the President asks. 

 

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor..." 

 

President sighs, amused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." 

 

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy, "I'll have to get back to you." 

 

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We've managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!" 

 

The President was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat: "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000." 

 

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." 

 

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. President. I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war." 

 

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says the President. "Why the sudden change of heart?" 

 

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there's just no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."

[jimmy]

  heres sheamus the celtic warrior   :D

[ArmedNAruba]

OH NO...SUE'S GONNA SNOG HIM!!!

[TAC]

 

From the movie "King Arthur", I think they fought about 10,000 men and won.

 

Never underestimate the resolve of anyone in the UK.

[TAC]

 

Of course they had a little help from my future ex wife Guinevere.

[El Bandito]

 

From the movie "King Arthur", I think they fought about 10,000 men and won.

 

Never underestimate the resolve of anyone in the UK.

More importantly - never suggest to an Irish person that they are in the UK...

[TAC]

I'm part Irish and I did not know that, but I'll keep it in mind.

 

So where are your baby pictures Bandit, for the Throw Back Thursday thread?

[Ladybug]

More importantly - never suggest to an Irish person that they are in the UK...

So true...I went to an Irish pub with a friend of mine (who doesn't know anything about Europe) and he just loved everything and he said "I love the English"...I went to the Ladiesroom, I figured it was the safest place to be! :-)

[SueBeDoo]

Now TAC I will only say this once more I AM NOT ENGLISH, Ireland is a seperate country to the UK;)

Na Armed oul Seamus is not my mug of scald so I won't be smooching him lol

LB your forgiven, even though there was nowt to forgive ;)

[Ladybug]

Now TAC I will only say this once more I AM NOT ENGLISH, Ireland is a seperate country to the UK;)

Na Armed oul Seamus is not my mug of scald so I won't be smooching him lol

LB your forgiven, even though there was nowt to forgive ;)

Oh I am glad....I was rolling when I read it :-)  hoped you would understand!

[SueBeDoo]

No need to hold back on the irish jokes on my account, I've heard most of them and they don't offend me sure half of them are true lol

[El Bandito]

Baby Pictures / young pictures - I don't have any. I will hit my Mum up for some - and then I'll need to 'electronic them'...then post them....

 

UK Geopolitics 101.

 

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. (UK) England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

 

Irish Geopolitics 101

 

Eire. The Republic of Ireland.

 

Eire is predominantly a catholic country

UK is predominantly protestant

 

Scotland has a strong catholic minority (with Irish roots)

 

The Troubles

 

Too long a story. Essentially - like much of the world Ireland was part of the Empire. When Ireland broke free - the War/Rising was finished by a negotiated agreement. (Highly contentious to this day) As part of that agreement - 6 counties were left as part of UK while the rest became independent. This always caused a bit of grief - but flared up big style in the 60s. 

 

The rights and wrongs will be long argued. Tragically many innocents died. This is where the guys collecting in Irish bars in the US came in...collecting for the 'revolution'.

 

In theory - the troubles have gone away, although they simmer still, and the UK government has said that if a majority in the 6 counties wish to join the Irish Republic they will allow it. (Catholics breed faster than Protestants on the whole) Problem is - not sure the Republic wants them

 

To confuse things - some Sports are all Ireland. So Rugby for example the Irish team is made of players from both sides of the border. Players with different passports.

 

Ill save Bakon the trouble..

 

Crazy Islanders.... :wacko: