The miserable and unpleasant non smoker

[Jonny5]

That was me, many times, over many years.

 

I made a choice this time around, with the help of Allen Carr, to be a happy and cheerful non smoker :-) The alternative is being miserable, whiny, and really quite unpleasant to yourself and to others.

 

in my failed quits I was such an A hole. everything that went wrong was because I wasn't allowed to smoke, it wasn't my fault etc etc

 

the people who championed my quitting effort, I perceived as my tormentors, each word of encouragement, I took as an underhanded threat that there would be immense disappointment if and when I failed.

 

One quit, I wasn't too bad to other people, but I did feel  that I was missing out, and that led to rebellion and failure.

 

One quit was because I was courting a never smoker, part of me wanted to be able to be content with not smoking, the other part grew resentment towards her.

 

Each of these quits was 100% all me, no one else was for blaming or for accreditting, sure there were influences, like the book I mentioned, but it was all me.

 

That is what led to this sticky quit.  I knew what I wanted to be, and I made it so.  I tuned my perspective to see the positive in every facet of my quit, for example, a crave was no longer a desperate longing, it was a growing pain.  The second hand smoke that I once sought out became it's truth, a cloud of poison designed to retrap and kill me. The act of looking cool smoking was replaced with ridicule at imagining someone sucking on an exhaust pipe whist swaggering around like James Dean.

 

I imagined what I wanted to be, and then I created what I wanted to be.  Sure, at first you are an actor in a personal play, but with time and commitment, you become what you want to be.

 

Some may think of this as brain washing, maybe it is? I think that smokers already are brainwashed, by themselves and the media, and by disgruntled abstainers.

 

If I am endorsing Brainwashing, it's only washing away the rubbish that you don't want anyway :-)

[Jenny]

I don't think I realized you had read allen Carr's book to aid your quit.  I didn't even know of that book when I quit but it seems to have helped so many. 

 

Agree we brainwash ourselves as smokers.   When I first quit I felt I was missing out and was only half heartedy in it.  I felt if it got to much I could just go back to smoking.  It was through education on this board that I realized I could control it all with a better attitude and a true committment to never take another puff.  No going back.  I do not believe I would have made it had I not changed my outlook.

[Jonny5]

I read it twice.

 

the first time some years ago, I didn't follow the instructions, and I refused to buy into what he was saying, I decided to use the "easyway but I know best way to stop smoking"  needless to say i didn't know best, I was using my smoker brain to find compromises.

 

the second time.... well here I am :-) He knew best.  and now I do too :-)

[Dors67]

At first I thought man I am such a miserable ole sow and a pretty weepy one as well...but it was only a week or so and really I have come out the other side a happier, more confident non smoking person. And I hate cigarettes, that helps. :)

[Jonny5]

At first I thought man I am such a miserable ole sow and a pretty weepy one as well...but it was only a week or so and really I have come out the other side a happier, more confident non smoking person. And I hate cigarettes, that helps. :)

 

that's quite normal in the early days, I had the odd melt down, I even threw my sugar bowl through my kitchen window on about day 10, we all adjust to the process differently, and our resolve is tested differently, but the process remains the same.  I can't remember who said it, but I was often told "fake it till you make it" and it's true, walk the path, and you will learn the way :-)  I felt so stupid as I was replacing the window pane, a very real in my face reminder of what I had done in my rage :-(

[Still winning]

Wow, please I only punched pillows, cheaper ;)  I read the book once years ago, did nothing for me but I was internally contradicting him anyway in truth. Read it after this quit and some of it helped a lot. Would agree and recommend the book to anyone. 

[El Bandito]

Read the book. Quit smoking.

 

Brainwashing. Well - I suppose so to a certain extent. Or Mind over matter? Or the Truth? Whichever it is - it works.

 

At times - as Jonny said - "acting in a personal play" - it was an act of faith; but ultimately it does become the reality.