Factors in difficulty quitting. For those struggling hard.

[JB 883]

Some people have a harder time quitting than others. Each addict's case is different. What i am wondering then is what factors may have the most effect on a "quit". Here are some variables.

1) Delivery system (patch, smoke, chew, vape...)

2) External stress (dealing with kids, work, being around smokers or not...)

3) When one started (teens or late 20's like I did)

4) Motivation to quit (want to quit while still ahead or just got diagnosed with cancer)

5) method of quitting. (switching products, stepping down, meds, cold turkey.)

MY personal variables look like this -

1) I smoked these really weak cigarettes made from pipe tobacco. They just did not have the same effect as real cigarettes. "Rollies" made with a machine

2) I live with a room mate, strictly platonic, we each do our own thing. I am not raising kids and my job is not mentally stressing. More physical than anything.

3) I started at age 27 and smoked 15 years. For 13 years it was actual cigarettes (Eve light 120's) but then for two years, those rollies. (WAY cheaper)

4) My motivation was mainly wanting to quit while my health was still intact PLUS got tired of the stinch and filth. That's it. No cancer, no one harping me. Just decided screw it.

5) I got sick, could not breathe, and for a few days HAD to cut way back, then decided Oct 6 would be it. Been quit since.

Honestly, my quit was pretty easy. Few cravings, minor withdraws. I was one of the lucky ones. Some are NOT so lucky

I know on quit boards there are a lot of discussions but not a whole lot of mention of how people made it through really bad cravings or managed to keep a quit. No offense here but sitting around "pledging NOPE" is not going to help some of our fellow quitters who are getting their asses beat for hours a day by the cravings. For them, pledging NOPE is like telling three year old it is time for bed. OH dear Bejeezus, if you have ever raised a kid, you KNOW what I mean.

So then, what were your variables and MOST important, what could one do who is struggling really bad? Is there any solid advice for that other than sitting around making pledges or "just do not light up"?

 

[joe]

1 hour ago, Jetblack said:

 

I know on quit boards there are a lot of discussions but not a whole lot of mention of how people made it through really bad cravings or managed to keep a quit. No offense here but sitting around "pledging NOPE" is not going to help some of our fellow quitters who are getting their asses beat for hours a day by the cravings. For them, pledging NOPE is like telling three year old it is time for bed. OH dear Bejeezus, if you have ever raised a kid, you KNOW what I mean.

 

1 hour ago, Jetblack said:

 

Obviously you have not been around too long or read many or the previous posts where help was indeed asked for, and advice given. By your own admittance , you don't need any help nor have inquired on how to handle cravings, but many others have...including me , early in my quit, and excellent advice was (and is) givin.  The daily N.O.P.E. pledge is a commitment each person makes to themself . When advise is asked for it is willingly given by many of us. If they feel like they want to find answers for themselves, the search function will turn up a multitude of posts dealing with their questions. Every aspect of quit smoking is discussed anytime someone asks.... There is a whole section of sticky posts at the top of a couple of the forums dealing with many of the questions new quitters are faced with, and in addition, many videos are also available to help educate anyone looking for more answers. I feel you painted us with a pretty broad stroke ...just because you didn't ask or receive the advice you mentioned, does not mean it isn't available for someone who is truely struggling.

[sgt.barney]

Quitting is as easy or as hard as you choose to make it. It is, indeed, a choice. 

Mind over matter, folks: if you don't mind, it don't matter.

Embrace The Suck, don't fight it.

 

 

EZPZ

[MarylandQuitter]

2 hours ago, Jetblack said:

Some people have a harder time quitting than others. Each addict's case is different. What i am wondering then is what factors may have the most effect on a "quit". Here are some variables.

1) Delivery system (patch, smoke, chew, vape...)

2) External stress (dealing with kids, work, being around smokers or not...)

3) When one started (teens or late 20's like I did)

4) Motivation to quit (want to quit while still ahead or just got diagnosed with cancer)

5) method of quitting. (switching products, stepping down, meds, cold turkey.)

MY personal variables look like this -

1) I smoked these really weak cigarettes made from pipe tobacco. They just did not have the same effect as real cigarettes. "Rollies" made with a machine

2) I live with a room mate, strictly platonic, we each do our own thing. I am not raising kids and my job is not mentally stressing. More physical than anything.

3) I started at age 27 and smoked 15 years. For 13 years it was actual cigarettes (Eve light 120's) but then for two years, those rollies. (WAY cheaper)

4) My motivation was mainly wanting to quit while my health was still intact PLUS got tired of the stinch and filth. That's it. No cancer, no one harping me. Just decided screw it.

5) I got sick, could not breathe, and for a few days HAD to cut way back, then decided Oct 6 would be it. Been quit since.

Honestly, my quit was pretty easy. Few cravings, minor withdraws. I was one of the lucky ones. Some are NOT so lucky

I know on quit boards there are a lot of discussions but not a whole lot of mention of how people made it through really bad cravings or managed to keep a quit. No offense here but sitting around "pledging NOPE" is not going to help some of our fellow quitters who are getting their asses beat for hours a day by the cravings. For them, pledging NOPE is like telling three year old it is time for bed. OH dear Bejeezus, if you have ever raised a kid, you KNOW what I mean.

So then, what were your variables and MOST important, what could one do who is struggling really bad? Is there any solid advice for that other than sitting around making pledges or "just do not light up"?

 

What an odd post.  Perhaps you need to peruse the over 3 years of data collected on the site before you think there is not much mention of how people make it through cravings.  In fact, start with the S.O.S. board and then work your way down through following two forums.

Pledging NOPE is not anything like telling a three year it's time to go to bed.  What an odd analogy.  Odd post altogether; not quite sure what to make of this but please consider that this may not be the best place for you.  I know I will be considering this on your behalf.

[Doreensfree]

In the years I've been here,I've seen quite a few come in wanting to quit, and go out non smokers.

We are at  the end of the day  not professionals...just folks who have kicked this addiction ,trying to help others who want to quit too...

Some just float in and out...some keep coming back..some just come and find it easy Peasy....

We can only give them our experiences... The quitting bit is still down to them..no matter what we say...

Our daily NOPE ..is a big part of quitting ..it makes that person accountable for staying smoke free for one day...

I have never understood, why those few who don't agree with the board..and say it's not running correctly... Why stay.????

There is a big world out there..in cyber...just sayin !!!!

[I Got This (T)]

Getting reeeaaaaaallllll tired of the "it was easy for me" posts. If anything that alone is very damaging to someone who is new in their quit. I'm only a litte more than a month in and it is still very hard at times for me...... especially at work.

[sgt.barney]

5 minutes ago, I Got This (T) said:

Getting reeeaaaaaallllll tired of the "it was easy for me" posts. If anything that alone is very damaging to someone who is new in their quit. I'm only a litte more than a month in and it is still very hard at times for me...... especially at work.

Sarge says again: it is as easy or as hard as you choose to make it.

Make your choice on how you handle your discomfort. 

Live with it. 

Nobody particularly cares what you're "real tired of".  Least of all your quit. It doesn't give a shit. 

 

EZPZ

[JB 883]

I Got This, did I not mention you have a lot more willpower than me and that I would not be able to quit under the same circumstance?

Not like I am telling people to go back to it or that they cannot stay quit. I see people sometimes get shamed for relapsing. I have no plans on relapse (though I suppose no one plans to). I just start to wonder why people do, especially after some months.

In real life when i told my smoking and vaping co-workers I was going to quit, one of them laughed and said, "Good luck" in a manner like "you will be back."

Anyways...

[Boo]

22 hours ago, Jetblack said:

I know on quit boards there are a lot of discussions but not a whole lot of mention of how people made it through really bad cravings or managed to keep a quit. No offense here but sitting around "pledging NOPE" is not going to help some of our fellow quitters who are getting their asses beat for hours a day by the cravings. For them, pledging NOPE is like telling three year old it is time for bed. OH dear Bejeezus, if you have ever raised a kid, you KNOW what I mean.

Three-year-old children can be impulsive and short-sighted.  Left to their own devices they would eat cookies for dinner, stay up too late, and never brush their teeth.  That's why parents have to be the adults in the relationship and set certain rules.  Rules that are not up for debate.  No sensible adult is going to argue with a child.  If the child throws a tantrum the parent has to be firm.  They might simply say "nope."

The voice of addiction is much the same as that of a petulant child.  Addictions parameters are clear: it wants what it wants and it wants it right now.  Which is why the quitter has to be the reasonable adult and be firm with certain rules.  Not One Puff Ever is the bedrock principle for a successful quit.  There is no point in arguing with or fighting against the voice of addiction.  The rules have been set...it is not negotiable.

22 hours ago, Jetblack said:

So then, what were your variables and MOST important, what could one do who is struggling really bad? Is there any solid advice for that other than sitting around making pledges or "just do not light up"?

Folks who committed to the quit and never lit up again have a 100% success rate.

[PinkyPromise]

I feel like... like what JetBlack was looking for here was more or less "why is it harder for some people than other people".  And for those who have a more difficult time, what's the most helpful thing to get through/push through the most difficult days.

I have had a few really tough days here the last few days.  I think I may have gone about this whole situation all wrong -- nevertheless, here I am not smoking lol

I was reading about cloves today.  That's what I smoked -- not because I ever had some delusion that they weren't as bad as regular cigarettes, but rather it was just because I liked them.  I hated the taste of regular cigarettes the few times I'd tried them and they choked me up too, they just were not at all an enjoyable smoke to me.  They smelled bad too.  Cloves are about 60% tobacco and 40% crushed clove so the taste, feel, smell, it's all entirely different.  I read a few articles today that suggested they actually had higher levels of nicotine and in some ways are even worse for you than basic cigarettes.  I don't know if that's accurate -- they were just blog type articles but they did cite the CDC in a few places.  I just need to read and re-read information about how bad smoking is for me.  It helps me keep my head about it all when I'm dying to walk out the door and buy "just one pack".

I don't know why some people can walk away with less withdrawals than others.  I don't know why some people only suffer for a week or 2 and some seem to linger in a crappy place for months.

For myself -- I should have gone cold turkey.  I do know several people who successfully quit smoking by leveling down their nicotine and using a vape.  The main difference between what they did and what I did was the length of time.  They had a month or so of co-smoking while vaping, weaning off the smokes, then started with a much higher level of nicotine than I did and stuck with that level for weeks or months before stepping down.  It was a super, super gradual quit.  I mean, I don't think any of them (aside from my Dad & myself) went into it with the intention of quitting -- it was just the idea that vaping was less problematic, health wise, than smoking cigarettes.  Once they started slowly stepping down nicotine it became a new goal to quit all together.  So, there's that.

They didn't have jack for withdrawals until they got to the very, very end.  At that point it was really minimal, just not that huge a deal.  My husband never even said a word, he just stopped one day.  Meanwhile I have been over here just raging.  

My hardest part was the week leading up to dropping cigarettes because I was used to smoking 12-15 a ay and I lowered it to 5-6 -- so I'm walking around having withdrawals like literally half the time I'm awake.  Then no more cigarettes and only 6mg of nicotine, that took at least 7-10 days to get used to and lemme say this:  It sucked.  The step down to 3 mg wasn't difficult or painful at all, no withdrawals to speak of.

Then I went to 0 last Thursday and this entire week has sucked -- every single day.  Every day I say "Ok, if I feel like this tomorrow I will go buy a pack." -- hoping I don't feel like this tomorrow -- yet I do, so I say it again.  Today has been LESS painful than yesterday -- for the very first time, but it hasn't been easy.

If I was going to "slow down" smoking and use a vape for the next year, fine, that probably wouldn't have been the major nightmare that this has been -- but I have done the condensed version so it's been nothing but a long ass, miserable prolonged 6 week succession of withdrawals.

Is this how people using the patch and the gum feel as well?

I mean -- if I HAD stopped cold turkey, would I still be fighting my quit like this a month later?  Can anyone even accurately answer that?  

I don't know if any of this has jack to do with anything else -- maybe my vaping and stepping down helped make this easier -- maybe the withdrawals lasted longer but haven't been as acute.  Maybe it kept me from smoking.  Maybe CT would have been easier -- so that seems like I'm saying CT is easy.  I don't think it is.  So, I feel like my entire reply here is utterly pointless and I'm gonna click submit anyway and go finish making my friggin acorn squash.

[Reciprocity]

There is no "easy way" to quit. That's my take on it. I went CT. It sucked for probably 6 weeks and then for another 3-4 months it was up and down depending on the day. In the end, I am glad I just went off it all right away. Shortest road to Rome?? Who knows. Everyone is looking for the easiest way - the least amount of difficult days while quitting. I'm not convinced that exists. In terms of the "suck factor", you can embrace it as part of the process and focus on the good things that are starting to happen or dwell on the misery you are feeling. That's a choice you can control. In the end, as far as I'm concerned, you gotta be committed fully no matter what. If you are, eventually you WILL make the transition to being comfortable as a non smoker.

[PeaceTrain]

For me, it's been difficult at times but I have such a different mindset from previous quit and I believe this had made all the difference.  Whenever a strong crave hits or even more frequently, what happens is, I get this feeling of anticipation that something very "good", something that will make me feel complete, is coming.  It's not even In the form  of a thought- it's a bodily sensation and an emotional anticipation of a "great" thing that is about to happen. This typically occurs just prior to the times when I would normally smoke, like after getting home from work, after a meal or right before going to bed.  When the realization that what I was feeling was the anticipation of having a smoke, and I wasn't going to have one, I would get hit with strong feelings of deprivation, disappointment and anger.  I learned, through the education I've acquired on this board, to view these episodes of difficult feelings as an essential part of the healing process. This mindset have been incredibly beneficial to me.  Over the course of the last almost 6 months, these feelings have steadily lessened in frequently and intensity. I look at this as validation of my way of thinking  I must be healing through these experiences because they are losing their potency.  The symptoms of any illness lessen over time as the body heals from the illness. I believe the same thing is happening here and even this belief, in and of itself, gives me comfort and hope.  

[I Got This (T)]

It's still very difficult at times...  the past few days I've been finding myself craving really hard..... not even brought on by any triggers, usually out of the blue.... but I'm damned stubborn and keep reminding myself if I smoke now I'm going to be so mad at myself... then I'd have to tell friends and family I slipped when they ask me how the not smoking is going.... then my coworkers would be like "see I told you you would start again"  besides one of my older regulars, very sweet man, came and visited me in the hospital, gave me a $100 on christmas, ect.... he said if I can stay quit for 3 months he will quit smoking... It's nice to know my quit is helping motivate someone else to quit..... especially someone who's been smoking for so long.

I find holding my breath for as long as I can when I crave hits helps immensely.... I get a nice little head rush.... kinda like when you did if you smoked too fast...

 

Edited November 17, 2017 by I Got This (T)

[Doreensfree]

The little nico monster is still nagging down your ear..trying to lure you back...

You are stronger than him...everytime you fight him..he dies a little....

You have a great quit going...and the only way is to keep pushing forward...Your so right...if you smoked now...you would hate yourself...all your hard work would have been for nothing....

Upwards and onwards...

[JB 883]

2 hours ago, I Got This (T) said:

It's still very difficult at times...  the past few days I've been finding myself craving really hard..... not even brought on by any triggers, usually out of the blue.... but I'm damned stubborn and keep reminding myself if I smoke now I'm going to be so mad at myself... then I'd have to tell friends and family I slipped when they ask me how the not smoking is going.... then my coworkers would be like "see I told you you would start again"  besides one of my older regulars, very sweet man, came and visited me in the hospital, gave me a $100 on christmas, ect.... he said if I can stay quit for 3 months he will quit smoking... It's nice to know my quit is helping motivate someone else to quit..... especially someone who's been smoking for so long.

I find holding my breath for as long as I can when I crave hits helps immensely.... I get a nice little head rush.... kinda like when you did if you smoked too fast...

 

So the co-workers told you that you would start again and your friend said if you could stay quit for three months then he would quit. Kind of confirms my suspicion that in real life, people often bet against us and out ability to drop the habit. I have not really mentioned quitting to too many but one friend at work kind of scoffed when I announced quitting. Now here I am not trying to be smart against your friend but just how is he going to react come the three month mark and you have not lit up? Yep, Jan 7th when you are three months finished and tell him, he MIGHT be like, "Oh shit..." THEN the pressure will be on.

With our quit, it gives a bit of bragging rights. May even pressure others to stop smoking. Aren't we evil?

I do find myself getting these strange cravings. It is like they are fewer but stronger. BUT, today something happened that reminded me why i do not smoke - Room mate and i were going to the grocery and outside probably 25 feet away some guy was puffing his lungs away and BEJEEZUS did it stink! I kid you not, I about got sick and almost cried from the disgusting smell.

So yeah, proving naysayers wrong AND avoiding the squalid stinch of cigarettes - alright, two motivators to stay away. I think the "crave" forgets to mention the bad parts.

My room mate saw me gagging and said, "That is one side effect of quitting... it doesn't bother me cause i got used to it". she don't smoke, never has. I don't know how she stands second hand smoke. it makes me want to die.

[Reciprocity]

I still get the odd pretty strong craving to smoke after 9 months quit. These don;t come daily by any means but just occasionally. They come from nowhere and last for mere seconds and is not brought on by any identifiable trigger - just when I'm going about some mundane daily life routine. It's just enough to get my attention and it scares me a little bit because I figure those should all be gone by now but, it's gone in an instant leaving me wondering .... WTF?

I don't see this as being a big issue, not like it was early on in my quit but it does go to show just how powerful this addiction really is - to me anyway. I won't smoke ever again in my life I know that. Throwing away all the work I have done this year would just not be acceptable no matter what

[PinkyPromise]

21 hours ago, reciprocity said:

There is no "easy way" to quit. That's my take on it. I went CT. It sucked for probably 6 weeks and then for another 3-4 months it was up and down depending on the day. In the end, I am glad I just went off it all right away. Shortest road to Rome?? Who knows. Everyone is looking for the easiest way - the least amount of difficult days while quitting. I'm not convinced that exists. In terms of the "suck factor", you can embrace it as part of the process and focus on the good things that are starting to happen or dwell on the misery you are feeling. That's a choice you can control. In the end, as far as I'm concerned, you gotta be committed fully no matter what. If you are, eventually you WILL make the transition to being comfortable as a non smoker.

Yes, this!  I 100% was hoping to minimize my hardcore sucking days LOL 

I truthfully have no idea whether I did or did not.  I don't know how different any of this would have gone if I'd ended up NOT having any side effects with the Chantix.  Or if I went cold turkey.  I can't even pretend to know and at this point it doesn't even matter... I feel like I'm in it to win it no matter what.  Ya know but I really DO still feel a LOT like that damn dinosaur someone posted... I need to go find that shit and repost, just so I can laugh.

[PinkyPromise]

21 hours ago, PeaceTrain said:

For me, it's been difficult at times but I have such a different mindset from previous quit and I believe this had made all the difference.  Whenever a strong crave hits or even more frequently, what happens is, I get this feeling of anticipation that something very "good", something that will make me feel complete, is coming.  It's not even In the form  of a thought- it's a bodily sensation and an emotional anticipation of a "great" thing that is about to happen.  

Yes, this!  I have this also!  I know exactly the feeling you are talking about and you're right -- it's not like a thought you're having but an overall feeling... I'm glad to hear yours are slowing down and getting less intense.  

[PinkyPromise]

5 hours ago, I Got This (T) said:

It's still very difficult at times...  the past few days I've been finding myself craving really hard..... not even brought on by any triggers, usually out of the blue.... but I'm damned stubborn and keep reminding myself if I smoke now I'm going to be so mad at myself... then I'd have to tell friends and family I slipped when they ask me how the not smoking is going.... then my coworkers would be like "see I told you you would start again"  

I feel a lot like this as well.  I have a LOT of reasons to stay quit.  My main motivation overall is my children.  

However -- what is helping me stay quit... hell, that changes every day.  Sometimes several times a day.

If my asshole sister can quit, so can I.  Money -- I can save $130.95 a month.  Smoker's lips -- gross, right?  

I have to sometimes just sit and browse for smoking related illness pics.  And YES, there are times when I'm feeling like -- no, I can't fail this.  I don't need any jackass all lined up to tell me "I told ya so" -- like as if they are wishing me ill or didn't believe I could quit.  

Mostly I just enjoy that I'm free to complain and whine as much as I want and my husband and kids don't care.  I spent at least an hour wrestling with 1,500 lights in the Christmas tree last weekend and just grumbled and bitched toward the end -- hubby was like, "Do you want me to finish those?"

"NO!  What I WANT is a cigarette, THAT is what I want!"

So my 6 year old daughter comes on over, "Here mama, I brought you a lollipop, I think this will help.  And I'm proud of you, mama."  

3 year old son comes over and looks up at me.  "Lollipop?" -- I take it out of my mouth and hand it to him... he walks off with it.   

Hubby brings a new one and a fresh coffee.  *sigh*

I got this.

Edited November 18, 2017 by PinkyPromise

[Doreensfree]

Check out Qi Gong pinky on you tube....so relaxing...this gentle excersise.. Changed my life....it slows down the hustle bustle of life !!!

Also don't forget to just stop..and take in some good deep breaths...

Quitting for your kids ..wonderful...a great reason... Just keep that focus ...

 

[Boo]

It was in the more difficult times early in my quit that I learned the most valuable lessons about quitting and beyond.  It wasn't until I had complicated the process that I learned to simplify it.  It wasn't until I had wasted time fighting mere thoughts that I realized the futility of fighting thoughts.

Challenges are an opportunity to shine.  You really want to feel ten-feet tall and bulletproof?  Take on a challenge that you may have once thought impossible and give it a swift kick in the ass.  Best thing you can do for yourself.

Success begets success.  Strength begets strength.

[Still winning]

I think your post is asking about what makes one person quit easier then another? You suggest there might be "reasons" that make it more bearable in some way but that's not my understanding on it.  I should go back for a moment. I was not in the easy quitting crew - I was more then hanging on by a thread, blood sweat and tears kind of quit. The variable (if you call it that) between my quit buddy and I was MINDSET. Our brain is our most powerful piece of kit and it's the one thing that seems to go on sabbatical when we quit. 

It boils down to the Henry Ford quote which is along the lines of whether you think you can or think you can't - you're right!

Some days suck and some days don't - whether the cause on that day was not smoking, ratty kids, moody family - whatever. So on the days that sucked more I simply got busier. I still have bad days as a human (shock horror) except now the reasons don't include smoking, but when we are quitting we put that thought in everywhere!! Having a shit day is normal and I no longer blame quitting but look for the actual cause of the trouble - whereas once I would thought associate every bad mood, bad day with craves/triggers/ etc, basically I blamed quitting smoking for everything, for months!!  I eventually understood it was a thought and the thought had no power unless I acted on it... then the craves got better or at least shorter. 

You ask about NOPE and I can see how it's not for everyone. For me it was a huge part of my quit for two reasons. It was my promise to myselfthat today at least, I would fight, no excuses. It was my promise to those who were quitting with me that we had that solidarity and camraderie, I had their back and they mine and that meant no one falling off. I don't know if you've seen a quitting buddy fall off the wagon. (apologies, I'm not around much). But it shakes you on multiple levels. You question whether it can even be done, can anyone really quit forever. You create loopholes where you can just quit again together later. More then that if they fall off and you hold on having tied your quit in with theirs, it feels brutal. So I took my nope very seriously, it was my promise to myself but also my friends that we would stay quit together.

Edited November 21, 2017 by Marti

[JB 883]

Well folks, my apology for being a PITA. I guess I could use the excuse that is have been a real butt head since quitting. I have rotten days too but hate admitting it. Kind of like the sour grapes of getting out of a bad relationship.

So to those who took offense, I am sorry.

[Doreensfree]

No offence here...

I had a punching pillow... That speaks volumes....

We just want to help you through this ...and come out smoke free...

We have all been were you are....xx

[Reciprocity]

There have been a lot of good contributions to this thread. That's a good thing in my mind. We are all learning about this quitting thing and each other too. Sometimes under trying emotional circumstances that we all go through in the early part of our quits. We all have the same goal in the end.