Hoppin' on the QuitTrain

[PinkyPromise]

Good morning 

I'm excited to "officially" be a member here now; I first became aware of this forum because a lot of members on my first message board experience used the Quit Train ticker and I'd browsed around here a bit.  Some things went "awry" over there and it seems I'm not a good fit for their philosophy & methodology.  I spent some time browsing your forums, guidelines, help posts, newbie posts and conversations and feel a lot more confident this time around.  I just created my account yesterday; my only apprehension is the overlapping membership 

So, my quit began during September, it wasn't mapped out and it's been quite the ride.  I'm much more "type A" than my quit experience has been LOL -- I saw a post here somewhere and someone had posted a GIF of this person in a dinosaur costume running all wild on top of a bounce pillow until he face planted.  That's me.  I watched it a bunch of times until my 6 year old daughter informed me that my laughing was "disruptive" to her   I invited her to come watch it and then we both laughed.  

Anyhow... I used Chantix for 9-10 days but was having some side effects I didn't enjoy, so I stopped taking those and discarded them.  I used an e-cig starting early October and decreased my cigarettes per day... 5 or 6, 3 or 4, then smoked my last one early on Tuesday morning, October 16th.  Since then I've decreased the nicotine in the e-cig from the 6mg that I began with down to 3mg, which is the lowest level before 0.  I don't currently have a firm date for when I'll put the e-cig down for the last time, but that is the plan.  I do know that I have about a half a bottle left of the 3mg and then it's 0    

I don't know what other people will accept as my "quit date" over here... I consider myself smoke free since Oct 16th.  I'm not nicotine free yet though.  The decreased amount felt really rough during that first week, but for the most part seemed to help keep the complete insanity away... until one day I was just pulling my hair out and drove over to my smoke shop.  I didn't go in, I didn't buy smokes... I came back home, but felt really bad about that and I still do.  In some ways I feel like I have come a long way -- and in some ways I feel like the challenge has just begun.  

Lots of layers to this quitting deal.  I'm happy to be surrounded with people who've been successful and with those who are going through the process now -- I feel like that's a big part of helping this become my forever quit.

 

Edited November 8, 2017 by PinkyPromise

[Doreensfree]

Hello and welcome aboard...

Congrats on the best decision you can make for your health...

Becoming nicotine free is a great goal...and you are on the way of achieving this...

Being smoke free is putting the E cig to bed too...

We can help you reach your freedom...

Stay close to the board..

Knowledge will be the weapon you will need to fight this monster...

Read,read ,and read some more...

If you havnt read the book Allen Carr the Easy Way to Stop Smoking ,I strongly recommended it....this book has helped millions..

I don't know anything about E cigs...I am a addict..so didn't want to swop one addiction for another..

What I do know is freedom ..is the most wonderful feeling ever....x

[Reciprocity]

Hi and welcome Pinky Promise. I will congratulate you on your desire to quit smoking and take back your life from this gripping addiction but, I must state up front that I don't consider you (or anyone else for that matter) to be smoke free until you have satisfied two things. Stopped taking nicotine into your body through your lungs and stop using any device that you put in your mouth then inhale and exhale anything, whether it be smoke or vapor. I'm sure you have heard this before and you will hear it again here, possibly more forcefully from some than others, because we're a quit smoking support site and we just don't believe that vaping has been proven to be a successful quit method. I won't wade any further into the whole debate surrounding vaping but did just want to give you the heads up that it's likely not going to receive support here. There are a couple of threads around here somewhere discussing this in case you want to seek them out. Just don't remember where off hand.

That being said, as far as I'm concerned, you are welcome here anytime to participate with us on a whole host of other issues surrounding quitting and quit symptoms.This is a small community compared to some others and because it is, we get to know each other very well and there's a lot of genuine support here for all new quitters. We also like to have some fun along the way, just to ease the difficult times many are having from day to day - plus; we're all a little crazy I applaud your goal to soon reach the 0mg nicotine dosage with the e-cig then drop it altogether. Be sure to let us know when you have done that as that, to me, marks your true first day as a non-smoker Beyond there, lean on us for all the support you need. We'll be here for you.

 

P.S. Isn't it just bizarre that Doreen posted up a picture in our Nope thread earlier today of exactly that ........... WOW! What are the odds?

[PinkyPromise]

7 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

P.S. Isn't it just bizarre that Doreen posted up a picture in our Nope thread earlier today of exactly that ........... WOW! What are the odds?

I saw that!  I picked this name because we take promises really seriously in my house... mainly this is something I do with my little girl.  We make a promise and she always says "Pinky Promise" and sticks out her little finger, waiting for mine  It kind of seals the deal... and we're on a 100% winning streak with the promises over here, so it always gives her a lot of comfort.

Re: the vaping.  I will spare the long version lol, but before I knew of quit smoking forums or communities, I just had my personal circle of friends & family to chat up about their quitting process and that's how it came about.  I feel good about it, confident, prepared to step away from it as well.  I can understand and accept that the majority of the online ex-smoking community doesn't consider it a "quit" -- it makes sense.  I feel very relieved though, that I'm permitted to openly share that this is part of my process.  

[Reciprocity]

You just reminded me that when I first quit, I didn't tell anyone for a few days - for fear of failing right away of course. Then on day 3 or 4 I think, I told my daughter that I had quit - not my wife but my daughter. Somehow, I guess I figured I could break a promise to my wife easier than I could break one made to my daughter. Not sure if that makes me a better father than husband but, it worked so far so  .....................

Wishing you the best with your quit. You can leave all that crap behind and be free - just like we are plus, keep that pinky promise

[NADA]

Welcome PP!  I can imagine the type of responses you got at the "other" place, so I'll try not to be nasty.   You seem to realize that ultimate goal is to be nicotine free.  The sooner you can get to that objective the better.  Many (not all) people develop just as strong an addiction to ecigs as they do to the real things.  So, I'd recommend you set a firm date to quit those too.

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy in the beginning but it will evolve into the best gift you've ever given yourself.  You can do this!  Let us know how we can help. 

[Doreensfree]

Pinky...have you a date set in your mind... To stop nicotine...?????

[PeaceTrain]

Welcome Pinky!  And if I may chime in, I'd like to 2nd Doreen's motion that you set a date.  You're still in the jaws of the beast if you're taking in any nicotine and the temptation to put off cutting yourself loose is very strong under these circumstances.  I'm rooting for you!  See how much you can really listen to those like Doreen who have long and strong quits.  She and others like her learned a lot on their way to freedom.  We have the benefit of their experience.  I try to take in as much as I can.  Wishing you the best.

[Boo]

Welcome aboard Pinky.

Everyone of us had to choose our own path and you will do the same.  In my opinion, you're not doing yourself any favors with the e-cigs.  Consumption of nicotine only serves to keep the addiction fed.  With commitment and education you can free yourself fully from the grips of nicotine.  And freedom is a far sweeter flavor than any contained in the nicotine vape juice (or whatever it's called).

You're on the right track and your head is in the right place.  Freedom is sitting right there in front of you just waiting for you to grab it.

Enjoy the ride.

[PinkyPromise]

Well... hell.  Truthfully, I don't have an actual concrete date in mind.  My "master plan" from the start was:

1. Take Chantix as directed

2.  Wean off the smokes during that first week to 10 days

3.  Use e-cig as "step-down" (6mg, 3mg, 0mg, drop the vape)

But that kind of blew up directly in my face because the Chantix was a no-go... negative side effects and so day 9 or 10 I discarded those, but then moved forward with the rest. 

So, the last cigarette was October 16th.

6mg nicotine level bottle lasted approx 2 weeks

3mg nicotine level bottle is looking to be about the same (this is where I currently am)

So, November 15th?

That would be the zero nicotine and the last step or leaving the vapor behind as well.

Still trying to find the exact, correct shade of pink 

[PinkyPromise]

I feel like I hyped it up internally a little bit.  The fear.

I had some pretty strong withdrawals and cravings after going from the cigarettes to the 6mg level.

They were present, but not as significant when I took the 3mg step.

I'm scared about the 0mg step.  

I feel a lot better now, as compared to the first few weeks where I just turned into a zombie pretty much... forgetting ALL the things.  Daughter's dance class, son's therapy (which we have had same time same day every week for 6 months -- I just got them off the bus and randomly went for ice cream without a single thought about missing the therapist  ).  Energy and motivation seemed to be at an all time low, it felt horrible to be honest.  I feel so much better now that I'm anxious about what will happen.

[Boo]

6 minutes ago, PinkyPromise said:

I'm scared about the 0mg step.  

You'll be fine.

The brain fog, obsessive thoughts, and other common withdrawal symptoms experienced in the early days of the quit are temporary and fleeting.

The benefits of quitting are permanent and increase exponentially over time.

Buckle up, knuckle down, and drive on.

[Doreensfree]

Over thinking...our brains really are our worst enemies...

Thinking about quitting ..is far worse than the actual quit itself...

When we pull a bandaid off ..our brain imagine this pain we have to bear...so we tend to pull it slowly...

But its much better to have one quick pull..and get it over with....same with nicotine.. get it out of the way quick..

What your doing is a route to quitting...but there is a much faster route...

[Reciprocity]

Good advice PP.

You can carry on the way you are now forever in some sort of limbo land between smoker and quitter but how will that benefit you in the long term? Sooner or later, if you want to be smoke-free, you need to make the jump and deal with whatever comes with it. Yes, it's not pleasant but it's the only way to break free - there's no shortcuts.

Even us people who quit using other (non-vape) methods have all the fears you mentioned above. We do our best to talk ourselves out of making that leap of faith. It's our junkie nicotine brains doing the talking. So what if you miss a couple of appointments or a dance class or two during that first couple of weeks. Surely your family will understand. I'm sure they want you smoke free as much as you do.

In the end, the choice is up to you and you alone. You are driving YOUR train. We are just passengers there to support you while we watch you find what YOU truly deserve!! Make the leap PP!

Edited November 8, 2017 by reciprocity

[Doreensfree]

^^^^ this ^^^^

Your quit has to come first,second third ect......

It's has to be nortured like you would a baby...we have all been were you are Pinky...when the nicotine has gone..when the E cig has gone...

Only then will your quit begin , and never put anything in your mouth ,and take a puff...

You can do it..

[PinkyPromise]

Last night, I wrote it down in my calendar -- my calendar that I used to use for quick reference but has lately become what keeps me from forgetting ALL the things 

November 15th.

Truthfully, the way it's looking now, I think it will be earlier than that.  I'm not going to buy an entirely new bottle of 3mg fluid just to "make it to" the 15th.  When I stopped smoking cigarettes I had the last pack until it was gone.  That was a tough day -- the last one was an early morning smoke and it used to be that in the mornings I'd sit on the patio, have a BIG mug of coffee and smoke a couple.  So after that I was like -- well, what now?

I really didn't have a plan and that first week was just ugly.  Second week wasn't much better 

I don't know how strong (nicotine wise) cloves cigarettes are.  For the vaping you can get nicotine levels at 24mg, 18, 12, 6, and 3 -- I started with the 6.

Am I wishful thinking that at this point the worst part is over (physical withdrawal wise)?  I hope so.  I've been changing up my schedule, my habits.  

I've had the benefit of reading up and learning more about the actual addiction and that has helped tremendously, just understanding exactly what's going on, how I was dependent on smoking to release dopamine, learning that our brains can and will learn to produce it naturally, we can form new habits that take the place of old ones and soon won't have to think about it.  

Anyway... I'm on board.  Very happy to be 

[Reciprocity]

The "learning more about the addiction" is a really important part of the process. When you truly believe that smoking does nothing positive for you and only takes from you, it's easier then to ignore that "junky" voice in your head trying to convince you to take another puff. That took a while for me to truly understand and believe that concept.

Changing up your routine, even in very small ways, can also be helpful. Many people will say that first hit in the morning, maybe with your coffee, is the worst one to get over. Switch up to a glass of juice or something or jump in the shower right away just to change things up a little. Worked for me. You may not be into coffee but that's just an example.

Will your quit be easier because of your prior vape routine (reducing nicotine gradually)? I am doubtful that will make much of a difference because, you have been taking in some nicotine and continuing the "smoking motions" all along. It's not just clearing the nicotine out of your system, the longest part of the journey is retraining your brain to function comfortably without going through those smoking motions every  hour or so. Just think about all the time in your day that you spend either actually smoking or thinking about it. When I say thinking about it I mean planning when and where to smoke, making sure you have supplies, not forgetting them when you go somewhere .... the list goes on and on. When you stop altogether, you suddenly have all this free mental and physical time on your hands. What to do with all that time now??? That's when the anxiety ramps up for many people. Don't know how to fill all this time so they get anxious. Brain needs to be retrained and that takes time and repetition.

I haven't researched the dopamine thing but if you have and believe you can assist your brain in dealing with the change through diet and/or exercise then go for it! Certainly can't hurt and may in fact help you. The big positive you have going for you PP is that your have already been reading and doing a lot of thinking about this quitting thing. That will help a lot when it comes to dealing with the early quit symptoms!

No one ever knows how easy or difficult ones quit will be. All of us here on this board with months or years worth of quit time has gone through the early days and had to summons the determination to stay quit when our addiction is screaming out to be fed. You are no different than any of us. You will face challenges and you WILL be able to overcome them providing you are and remain committed to your quit being your number one life priority for the early days. 

The choice is up to you to make. The hard work will be up to you to do. We will be here to support and encourage you along the way

[Paul723]

Your body wants to heal itself and will when you stop, just let it.  Have patience and enjoy the journey. 

[PinkyPromise]

I didn't want to make a deal of it, but yesterday morning, when I was about to refill my little vape tank, I thought, let's see about this 0mg.  JUST for sh*ts & giggles.  

It wasn't bad.  The first time I felt a lot like I wanted to smoke was after dinner.  Then this morning with coffee.  Those are my 2 big times -- after dinner, in the morning.  Aside from that I haven't felt any differently than I have during this last week or so.  So, this is good... then again it was one. single. day.  It did give me a lot of confidence though.  I feel like those first 2 weeks with no cigarettes and the 6mg fluid, that was bad.

[joe]

Hey Pinkie P....I've seen you posting, but haven't stopped by to welcome you yet...

so.."WELCOME"!!

i haven't read all the responses, but my advise would be to get to the 0 nicotine NOW and end this constant state of withdrawal you are keeping youself in.... As long as you give your body even a little, it will SCREAM for more... The uncomfortable feelings may last a couple days at most, but once the nicotine is completely out of your system, you can concentrate on rewiring your brain to accept the fact smoking isn't nessasary to cope with day to day life...

  There are many ways to quit smoking, and any way that is successful is a good way.... However, I have not personally known anyone who has been able to quit by substituting vaping for smoke... They still get as much (or more) nicotine, just use a different delivery system..in their mind they justify it by telling themself it's better than smoke.... Is it? ... Is snorting drugs safer than injecting them ( reduces the chance of AIDS). I would venture a quess and say that it may be, but in the end it's the DRUG that ruins your life in so many ways, not the delivery system you use to get it into your body.

so.. To get off the soapbox... I want to welcome you here and hope this works for you and that by the time I finish this story, you have put the vaping pen away and are finally breaking the grip that addiction has on you...

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Joe is right on the button pinky...

I notice your quit date is 16 th October...if you are still taking / vaping in nicotine..I'm sorry ,you havnt quit ...just yet...

We carnt celebrate your months of victory ,if we havnt got a honest quit date...

Put your vapor..in the bin..and come out fighting...your lungs will thank you ....

Believe in yourself...you can do this ...

[PinkyPromise]

Thank you for the input, guys 

I learned (the hard way?) that going back and forth with personal opinions isn't conducive to either my quit or to the community here.  I do mean that respectfully.  In all of my own research, I can say only one thing we can all agree on about e-cigs: the jury's still out  

The UK is the first to officially list them as a smoking cessation device, while other countries have banned them all together.  The FDA is now regulating the devices and fluids here in the US... some insurance companies consider e-cig users as smokers, some do not.  The latest CDC report indicates at least 35% of people quitting smoking are now using vapor as their quit method.  As you might guess... "Big Tobacco" is heavily involved and I'll be 100% honest:  I don't have the time nor energy to sift through all of the most recent scientific studies, reports, and findings.  

When I decided to make use of the e-cig to aid in my quit, I hadn't seen or even heard of any kind of online community.  If I had, would it have swayed my decision?  I can't say one way or another with any truth, because I don't know. 

I'm totally on board with sharing the process of my quit with full, honest disclosure.  I think being dishonest about any aspect of it would diminish not only the support I could receive but also any support I might be able to offer anyone else.

In my heart, I know that my quit smoking date was October 16th.  That was the last time I smoked a cigarette, for the first time in 17 years.  I'm proud of that day; I'm proud of every day thereafter. 

If this community or individuals within do not feel comfortable with that date, it's ok with me -- I also mean this sincerely.  It's sometimes hard to "hear" someone's tone in a written setting without visual ques and the benefit of being able to hear their voice.  So, please don't read this as sarcasm or irritation in any way.

Yes, I spent the 2 weeks prior to the 16th weaning down the number of cigarettes I had... and yes, also there was nicotine in my fluid up until a couple of days ago.  I can be sure that it was significantly less than my cigarettes contained because there were some very strong withdrawals and cravings, many of the unpleasant quitting symptoms that most everyone here has had to move through.  The first 2 weeks (for me) were the most difficult.  I didn't know what to do with myself half the time and I believe that using the vape did aid me in stepping off over the edge a few times.  I have heard people using nicotine gum or patches mention the same type of experience... it was not as physically satisfying as smoking (meaning it did not halt the withdrawals of the addiction) but it helped take some of the edge off.

So, it's ok with me if the 16th of November rolls around and nobody blows off any bells & whistles for me... that's not why I'm here.  What matters to me is that November 16th will come and go without me lighting up a cigarette... and then December 16th, and so on.

That said -- from the start of my own quit journey, there hasn't ever been the idea that I'd continue using the vape after it's purpose was served.  

[Doreensfree]

No sarcasm here Pinky...just someone who quit smoking ,trying to help another quit smoking too...

This is your quit...I hope to see you on the Lido Deck one day...celebrating your freedom...

[PinkyPromise]

7 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

No sarcasm here Pinky...just someone who quit smoking ,trying to help another quit smoking too...

This is your quit...I hope to see you on the Lido Deck one day...celebrating your freedom...

I will be there!  With a very strong adult beverage