I WANT TO QUIT BUT I JUST CAN’T

[Tyme2B]

Hi Everyone. I’ve been here on the Train before. I had a successful quit for 6 months a few years ago then fell off the train. I want to quit badly but circumstances in life beyond my control keep me so anxious I quit for a few days then go back to this horrible habit. My brain seems to think it calms me down. I’m sure many others here have been where I am...in a dark, dreary place where smoking is adding to the already severe anxiety because I’m afraid it’s going to kill me. I have a big Birthday coming up...I wanted to be quit by then. I keep falling off the train because I am in a constant state of anxiety. It sucks. I hate it. I don’t know how to gather my strength to quit despite the fear. But I’m not on here to complain about that. I’m on here to quit. Please help me to help myself! I know HOW to do it....I just can’t seem to DO it. Trying alone is futile. I need help. ?

[Nancy]

Tyme, you just have to decide that there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is okay to smoke.  Even if you are curled in a fetal position screaming and bawling your brains out, it is not okay to smoke!  Please get with your doctor to see if there is something that might help with the anxiety.  Smoking does calm you down, but only because it temporarily relieves the symptoms of withdrawal...which will return whether you smoke or not.  You CAN do this!

[NADA]

Welcome Tyme2B

Many (maybe even most) of the people here smoked for decades.  So, to think you "can't" is simply untrue.  Granted, it can be very tough in the beginning.  I kept a count on an app every time I had an urge.....the first several weeks I had 50-100 per day!  In the past this would have caused me such anxiety that I would have dumped my quit.

This time around I approached each urge as a mini-battle whose ass I was determined to kick.  When I won each battle for an entire day, that would be a victory.  Finally, when I surpassed my previous longest quit of 3 weeks I knew there was no giving in.  Now I can look back and see I was using the NOPE strategy.  I strongly recommend you look into the Daily Nope section of this website. 

Anxiety is a tricky thing and it's not easy to overcome.  But it can be done.  I found walking (even a few times around a room if I couldn't get out) to be helpful.  At some point you will find that quitting will diminish your overall anxiety and enhance your health in so many more ways.

You can do this Tyme....let us know if you need help or just want someone to lean on.

 

[Reciprocity]

Both of the above responses are good ones Tyme. I know the anxiety is very difficult to deal with particularly in the initial stages of your quit but you just need to do it and stick with it. The calming effect of smoking is just because you satisfied your urge for nicotine (which will begin building as soon as you are done that smoke). It's a never ending cycle the you CAN break. Just as many others have.

[Sirius]

Belief in one's self is absolutely critical for a successful quit.

If you think you can, or you think you can't;  you're right.

...and of course we never "quit," so much as we devote ourselves to a life-time of abstinence.

Embrace it.  Own it. 

 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Hi tyme..

Good for you ,for jumping back on the train...

We can give you all the tools in the world to quit..but in the end ,it down to your wanting this ,more than anything....

Take smoking off the table no matter what is going on...

You had a 6 months quit..so you can do it...you just have to remember one puff will put you right back where you started...

Take the daily pledge...make that promise to yourself everyday...

Read all the stuff here again ,to refresh your mind..you can do it..if I did..i know you can ...x

[Tyme2B]

Thank you very much for ALL for your support! I think I will need to post a daily diary each day. I plan to start tomorrow. If Doreen had not sent me an email I likely would not have accessed the help I need but I’m sure not doing well on my own. None of my friends or family smoke...they have all quit. But they are not good sources of support for me. I need DAILY support. The cause of my high anxiety....not that this is an excuse....At the moment my close friend has Class C3 ovarian cancer & my Mother has a Class I tongue cancer. Neither have ever smoked. My mother is & always has been very abusive. And  I can’t leave my Sister to deal with her alone...

HOWEVER this is about QUITTING SMOKING.  There seems to be no GOOD time to quit. So NOW is as good a time as ever. I need to deal with my anxiety & will see my Doc if necessary to deal with anxiety as I know that anxiety will be getting worse with quitting. BUT I must do this. 

Thanks! 

 

[Boo]

1 hour ago, Tyme2B said:

HOWEVER this is about QUITTING SMOKING.  There seems to be no GOOD time to quit. So NOW is as good a time as ever. I need to deal with my anxiety & will see my Doc if necessary to deal with anxiety as I know that anxiety will be getting worse with quitting. BUT I must do this. 

 

Quitting smoking is one of the best things you can do for anxiety.  Not only is smoking not helping you with anxiety, it is actually exacerbating the problem.  Withdrawal symptoms, dopamine pathways that have been hijacked by cigarettes, and inefficient breathing patterns that lead to a pattern comparable to hyperventilation lead to heightened anxiety for smokers.

Dispelling the myths and lies of smoking is a vital part of the process and for most of us required daily reinforcement.  Addicts must learn to lead their thoughts rather than be led by thoughts.

Tyme, if it required superhuman ability to quit smoking most of us would not be here.  Quitting is a matter of making a commitment to yourself and vowing to never take another puff.  You absolutely can do that.

[Reciprocity]

 Keep focused T2B and try to focus on the benefits you'll be seeing (better sniffer, better taste buds, clothes don't smell of smoke, saved money etc.). They are small things but it's important to keep a positive focus as best you can despite all the external stuff going on that you can't control. This thing (quitting smoking) you CAN control. It's completely in your hands to make it happen. Come here as often as you like and unload whatever baggage you like. We're here to help even if that's just to let you blow off steam or just simply dump some emotional baggage off for a bit :) We KNOW it's difficult. We KNOW it's unpleasant at times. That's why we're eager to lend support :) You CAN do this!

[PeaceTrain]

Hi Tyne. You are making the right decision to quit smoking. It's the very best thing you can do. In time, after whatever withdrawal effects you experience calm down, you may likely find, as I did, that smoking is a huge contributing factor to anxiety. You don't realize this when you're actively smoking. Like Nancy said, you feel like it's calming you but all the smoke is doing is quelling the withdrawal. After 5 months quit I feel much calmer, sleep better, have zero panic attacks.

 Another thing you may want to think about is finding a therapist or counselor to work with on healing from the abuse.  Maybe others here would have a different opinion but in my experience sometimes people use smoking to push down their feelings about difficult issues in the same way that gives rise to eating disorders, substance use or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.  If you don't have insurance coverage or can't afford therapy, depending on the circumstances you may qualify for therapy at no cost  PM me if you want additional info about this  

Just wanted to float that and to say welcome (back) and congrats. Stick with NOPE no matter what. You can definitely do this! 

[Tyme2B]

19 minutes ago, PeaceTrain said:

Another thing you may want to think about is finding a therapist or counselor to work with on healing from the abuse.  Maybe others here would have a different opinion but in my experience sometimes people use smoking to push down their feelings about difficult issues in the same way that gives rise to eating disorders, substance use or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.  If you don't have insurance coverage or can't afford therapy, depending on the circumstances you may qualify for therapy at no cost  PM me if you want additional info about this  

Hi Peace Train...thanks so much for your advice....I have been to Therapy regarding “mother abuse”. Unfortunately I have been told that removing myself from her is the only thing that will help. I can’t do that as she is sick & elderly plus my Sister would become even more stressed as well. As a retired nurse I think I just have too big of a heart ?  However, I can & have recently removed myself from her constant texting so I DO get some respite now. Hoping that will help me to do something for myself...anxiety is definitely my trigger....I need to learn smoking does NOT help anxiety....my addicted brain just thinks it does. I quit before using this site...you are ALL helpful. I cannot just give up & go off the site this time because I will not win this battle without help. 

[Reciprocity]

Lots of genuine people here that would like nothing better than help you newbie quitters along whether it's your 1st time or 10th time. We know the struggle and, we know the rewards of doing all the hard work and staying with it!

[Stewie]

Writting english makes my brain hurt so ill just say this: yes, you CAN quit smoking, anyone can. Hell, there was a time i thought i was doomed to smoke forever. Then i quit, i was climbing walls for 5 months straight but i did it. You gain resistance in every single day you stay off the smokes, plus excitement to last just one more day. You have all the information here, thats 90% of what you need, the other 10% is in the nope pledge section. Sleep well, wake up, turn on your computer and put that nope pledge online. Then endure it like everyone else did. At the end of the night you might want to revisit the nope pledge and leave your thoughts, we´ll be there for you, plus a nice picture of a lolcat from me, everyday, because im a nice guy. Grind through that motherfucker nicotine monster one day at a time and rid yourself of this horrible addiction that will no doubt kill you if you let it. You got this!

[Tyme2B]

My husband & I discussed my Quit Smoking Date last night! I have his full support...of course. I have decided to make my Quit Date Nov 15th, the day after my mother’s Cancer Surgery. This will give me time to prepare myself psychologically, handle stress in a new way,  reduce smoking & give me the opportunity to not fail. In the meantime I will be reading, reading, reading on this site. Quitting impulsively has never worked for me. Although I would like nothing better than to “just quit” today, realistically I need preparation. I need to learn & practice new ways of handling stress. Last night I watched TV & it worked pretty well... I will also be seeing my Doctor about my anxiety. Preparation...I need to do this right. I will stay in touch as I prepare for my transition to being a non smoker. 

Edited November 3, 2017 by Tyme2B
Spelling error

[Tyme2B]

I have smoked for over 4 decades. Is anyone else in this same boat? 

[Doreensfree]

Tyme..I smoked for over 5 decades..so yes I can relate to how your feeling...

I didn't have time to prepare..I was told by my doctor Now...or face the consequences...which in my case was amputation..

I have been known to say whatever road you take to quit..just get there..just don't leave it too late...like I did...

There is no better time than today...we will support you ,which ever route you take...

Some of us take the back road ...some of us take the fast track...xx

[Nancy]

41 minutes ago, Tyme2B said:

I have smoked for over 4 decades. Is anyone else in this same boat? 

I, too, smoked over 40 years.  If I can do it, you can, too!

[NADA]

I was a 4 decade smoker. Thought I was beyond hope.  I was wrong.  You simply need to realize there are no longer any excuses that validate lighting another cigarette.  Just remember:

                         If it's important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you'll find an excuse.

You can do it Tyme!  

 

[sgt.barney]

You *can* but you *won't*

Sarge can't put it any simpler than that.

 

EZPZ

Edited November 3, 2017 by sgt.barney

[Tyme2B]

This positivity makes me feel positive too. “I WILL be a non smoker”. Man, that would feel SO good! 

2 hours ago, sgt.barney said:

You *can* but you *won't*

Sarge can't put it any simpler than that.

 

EZPZ

Oh yes I will Sarge! ? And you’re going to be proud of me & eat your words lol! ?

 

3 hours ago, BKP said:

I was a 4 decade smoker. Thought I was beyond hope.  I was wrong. 

You can do it Tyme!  

 

I CAN! I want this. It’s not going to be a walk in the park but at least I won’t freeze my butt off this winter. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN! Several of you have been 4 decade smokers too...that gives me hope. 

I do know I will need support from all of you wonderful people who have successful. ?

Edited November 3, 2017 by Tyme2B

[Reciprocity]

Over 4 decades here T2B so ........................ you're in good company. No excuses this time around. Keep that attitude above in place. NOPE under any circumstances. That will get you through the really tough times that you know you will face. But this time, you KNOW you can get there, just as many of us have

Edited November 3, 2017 by reciprocity

[joe]

Somewhere around 40 years smoking for me too....before that fateful day in Nov. of 2013...

 

thats when, I didn't just say to myself I wanted to quit... I TOLD my self I WAS quitting....no more....no matter how "hard" I thought it would be to not smoke, I told myself it was "tyme" (see what I did there...lol).

 

Sure... Your gonna have the normal bumps in the road on this journey, but we all did...we got past them...after a year quit, you will look back and realize, it wasn't that bad... The hardest thing about quitting is getting our mind on board with the fact that it's all about N.O.P.E...period! . Once you completely accept it, you won't seem to fight it...

 

in in the words of Sarge...it becomes "Easy Peezy"

 

take it it one day at a time, and remember we are here if you need us to "talk you down" there is no shame in having help,through this...that's why we all stick around!

[PinkyPromise]

Hello Tyme2B, just wanted to see how you're doing with your quitting date coming up   That's very exciting!!

I have been plowing through trying to find things that help me and some do, some don't as much.  Personally, I very much enjoy feeling in control of things 

This quitting smoking... well, there have been a lot of times I have felt completely OUT of control of it... like how my body is feeling, the withdrawals or cravings, what to do while I sit on the patio or while I'm working, I mean, just all kinds of things.  And slowly, one thing at a time I'm taking steps to reclaim the control over these things -- some are far more difficult than others lol

I went one day and started reading up all that I could about how smoking impacts our brain's dopamine production and just trying to wrap my hands around all of the things I was feeling... scatter brained, fatigue, irritability, sleepless, stressed out.  Knowing these things are a relatively normal part of the process still wasn't doing much for me in the way of wanting to have some control over the situation.  So, I picked up some tips as far as how to naturally boost dopamine production and thought -- at least I can have control over these things.  

I got all exited about hitting up the local produce stand with my list of dopamine enhancing fruits and veggies LOL -- watching a beginner's yoga video on youtube every morning and clumsily doing my "sun salutation" -- listening to music that I love while I get things done around the house.  So, I have prepared, portioned, and frozen all these broccoli, kale, avocado, pineapple smoothies and I'm not gonna lie -- I have NO idea if any of this stuff is actually physically increasing dopamine production  I do feel more in control of what I'm doing though -- I feel like I'm actively participating in my quit rather than just being along for the ride like I was the first couple of weeks.

And so if this is all just some kind of placebo affect, well, ok then, but at the very least I know they can't hurt, it's healthy, I feel like I'm doing something.

 

[Reciprocity]

^^^ At the very least, I expect eating healthier foods would help in avoiding weight gain issues often associated with quitting.

[Doreensfree]

Eating healthy is a great tool ,to have in your tool box...

I wasn't that organised... I didn't have time to put a plan in action.. So good for you ...