What Does it Take To Stay Quit?

[comrade simba]

I just love the way my wife puts things. So ... collected, maybe?

 

Me - eh,  I'm a whole lot cruder with a mean streak and  I like to think how tunes would change after a couple years of shooting dope or balls to the wall alcoholism. Just think  - millions and millions of addicts and alcoholics have been so wrong for so long re will power. Staggering I tell ya... just staggering.

 

Who knows? Could be that addiction to nicotine is pretty fluffy compared to hard core drug abuse. After about two days I knew there wasn't any physical withdrawal going on. The smoking deal was all a psyche deal and I'm now leaning towards believing everyone's battle with the head is individually colored by their own particular daemons. I got some pretty dark places inside that got covered up by lighting up. Blood, knives, guns, dumpsters back allys and excursions into the desert with shovels... creaks on stairs after midnight and the smell of booze... where's my car... name that bruise... dogs and swamps ...and locks and iron doors

 

Be my guest and decorate the quit train like a hindu festival... just keep a single battleship gray boxcar available for those who lived the things we don't and can't talk about.

[Soberjulie]

I just love the way my wife puts things. So ... collected, maybe?

 

Me - eh, I'm a whole lot cruder with a mean streak and I like to think how tunes would change after a couple years of shooting dope or balls to the wall alcoholism. Just think - millions and millions of addicts and alcoholics have been so wrong for so long re will power. Staggering I tell ya... just staggering.

 

Who knows? Could be that addiction to nicotine is pretty fluffy compared to hard core drug abuse. After about two days I knew there wasn't any physical withdrawal going on. The smoking deal was all a psyche deal and I'm now leaning towards believing everyone's battle with the head is individually colored by their own particular daemons. I got some pretty dark places inside that got covered up by lighting up. Blood, knives, guns, dumpsters back allys and excursions into the desert with shovels... creaks on stairs after midnight and the smell of booze... where's my car... name that bruise... dogs and swamps ...and locks and iron doors

 

Be my guest and decorate the quit train like a hindu festival... just keep a single battleship gray boxcar available for those who lived the things we don't and can't talk about.

What is it they say around here?

+1

I consider myself in good company sitting with you in the battleship grey boxcar ;)

[Dors67]

"The minute we stop learnING and saying I've learnED is often when we slip into a teacher mode as opposed to student mode" My most profound teachers have always been people who had no idea they were teaching me something.

I am a student of life. May I never stop learning and may I never become so complacent in my quit that I think I know it all.

 

 

Amen sister :)

[Ladybug]

I just love the way my wife puts things. So ... collected, maybe?

 

Me - eh,  I'm a whole lot cruder with a mean streak and  I like to think how tunes would change after a couple years of shooting dope or balls to the wall alcoholism. Just think  - millions and millions of addicts and alcoholics have been so wrong for so long re will power. Staggering I tell ya... just staggering.

 

Who knows? Could be that addiction to nicotine is pretty fluffy compared to hard core drug abuse. After about two days I knew there wasn't any physical withdrawal going on. The smoking deal was all a psyche deal and I'm now leaning towards believing everyone's battle with the head is individually colored by their own particular daemons. I got some pretty dark places inside that got covered up by lighting up. Blood, knives, guns, dumpsters back allys and excursions into the desert with shovels... creaks on stairs after midnight and the smell of booze... where's my car... name that bruise... dogs and swamps ...and locks and iron doors

 

Be my guest and decorate the quit train like a hindu festival... just keep a single battleship gray boxcar available for those who lived the things we don't and can't talk about.

I don't know anything about addiction.....but I watched a young man who worked for me fighting with alcoholism. He got arrested, lost car, house, job and he still couldn't quit. I couldn't rely on him..I tried to keep him...but had to let him go. He was sleeping in the streets and looked like an old man, he lost his fight. They found him one day...nobody knows what happened..they say his heart just gave up. He was young, he could have been my Son. I watched him, I tried to help him...I watched how he destroyed himself.. there was nothing that I could do/nothing anybody could do. I have a hard time with the word addict when it comes to myself...it feels like I don't deserve it...because my fight is a joke compared to his....if that makes any sense. I call myself a Smokoholic! Yes, smoking is addictive and yes, I might have harmed myself and I might die of cancer -time will tell- but I hurt only myself..not everybody around me.

 

this happened years ago I still think about him..very  often! 

 

a BIG LIKE from me CS!

[Aine]

I don't know anything about addiction.....but I watched a young man who worked for me fighting with alcoholism. He got arrested, lost car, house, job and he still couldn't quit. I couldn't rely on him..I tried to keep him...but had to let him go. He was sleeping in the streets and looked like an old man, he lost his fight. They found him one day...nobody knows what happened..they say his heart just gave up. He was young, he could have been my Son. I watched him, I tried to help him...I watched how he destroyed himself.. there was nothing that I could do/nothing anybody could do. I have a hard time with the word addict when it comes to myself...it feels like I don't deserve it...because my fight is a joke compared to his....if that makes any sense. I call myself a Smokoholic! Yes, smoking is addictive and yes, I might have harmed myself and I might die of cancer -time will tell- but I hurt only myself..not everybody around me.

 

this happened years ago I still think about him..very  often! 

 

a BIG LIKE from me CS!

 

No, your journey is not "a joke" , bug. 

 

I worked in a hospital for about ten years, many years ago. Several times, I helped a patient to smoke, turning off their oxygen and in a couple of instances, removing the gauze from their throat where they had a tracheotomy so they could hold the cigarette to their throat. That was back in the early 80's.

 

This addiction kills, too. People around us are hurt, too. Watching someone you love hurt from smoke related problems is horrible. "I watched him, I tried to help him...I watched how he destroyed himself.. there was nothing that I could do/nothing anybody could do. " I think this sentence sums up concisely addiction to nicotine, too.

[El Bandito]

Some sobering stuff here - excuse the pun. 

 

This place is definitely different things to different people - and I think that is powerful.

[MarylandQuitter]

What does Johnny5's relative's background have to do with his opinions? My uncle is a pharmacist, but I don't think I have the education or the training to fill prescriptions for you.

 

I do hope the moderators of this new forum are not now being touted as "nicotine cessation experts."

 

I'm going to listen to anyone that has one minute more than I do without nicotine; but, "take what you want and leave the rest" works just fine for me. What doesn't work is a response that negates what I am presently feeling or dismisses what I say with a self righteous and pompous "hope for my future" or some such nonsense. Posts I listen to are ones that offer me reiteration of the message that supports nicotine addiction, not a feel good "just say no."

 

 

I do credit everyone here with valuable experience in how they have quit smoking. And I am incredibly grateful to all of you for sharing those experiences.That's all I can share; my experience.

 

I don't much care for "trolls" either. "Trolling is the term derived from the word "troll," which indicates trailing a fish along a baited line." Throwing out several remarks per day that generally say it is easy to quit and if you feel bad, you're doing it wrong looks like a baited line to me. And putting smiley faces at the end of each sentence doesn't negate dismissing remarks.

 

Just saying.

 

Aine,

 

The people we know and interact with have a great influence on shaping our opinions, changing them or reinforcing them.  For example.  My Doctor is the one who spoke the truth to me about nicotine addiction and up until that point, I never even viewed myself as an addict.  Because of my conversation with him, not only were his words the catalyst that started my journey towards a new life free from the slavery of smoking, but my opinions on smoking drastically changed.  If we keep an open mind, our opinions can change.  I argued with him that I was not an addict.  Do you think I was going to change his opinions on smoking?  Not a chance.  But did he change my opinions on smoking?  You bet he did.

 

My Doctor exposed the lies of nicotine and made no bones about it.  He set the course for my quit.  It's preposterous to take such a leap and insinuate that I (or anybody else) would possibly think they have the same authority as a person that has helped shape our opinions or even drastically changed them, as in the case with myself and smoking.

 

Let me further explain.  Let's say one of us met with 4 Star Admiral Michelle Howard, the first female 4 Star Admiral and CNO, the Navy's second in command (current).  I would bet the farm that she, in some way, would help shape our opinions on any multitude of subjects, issues and history.  Now, only a fool would think they had the same authority as the Navy's second in command.

 

Again, it's nonsensical to even hint that myself, the moderators or the members' of the this support community are here for anything other than to offer support, share experiences, expose the lies of smoking and have some fun in the process.

 

Opinions can be incorrect.  Not experiences or things that we've been through, but opinions.  Our experiences can shape our opinions which can lead to opinions that are indeed wrong.  That's not saying that our experiences are wrong or are not real or important, but we can form erroneous opinions based on them.  All one has to do is take a look at the news.  Opinions fill the airways and some of them are flat out wrong. 

 

Although it may not be comforting to realize that our opinions may be wrong, it doesn't change the fact that we come to incorrect conclusions based on our experiences, ideals, poor interpretations, or simply an unwillingness to keep an open mind.

 

Now, as far as "trolling", that sounds like a personal attack and according to the rules and guidelines that you agreed to when you joined this support community (they are also pinned so they are readily available for review ), you may want to rethink how you react to certain members of this community.

 

You wrote, "take what you want and leave the rest" works just fine for me."  Wouldn't it work better to follow this so you don't interfere with your own enjoyment of this community as well as the enjoyment of others'?

 

Let's leave the ill-fated agendas at the door so this community is free from personal attacks and "trolls", neither of which reflect who we are or why this forum came into existence.

 

We're here to help and support one another and have some fun along the way. This is your community. Make it count for something.

[Still winning]

Hey Tracey, I just want to say blo*dy good show old chapess!!  I know life hasn't been all "the hills are alive" for you and I've watched and read about you facing down triggers, owning your quit and just being the wonderful you. Real inspiring stuff so thank you and congratulations for what you've achieved. 

[Soberjulie]

"Let's leave the ill-fated agendas at the door so this community is free from personal attacks and "trolls", neither of which reflect who we are or why this forum came into existence."

I personally have no agenda, other than to walk beside any newbie who is put in my path. I've made some amazing a supportive friends here MQ.
I wrote what amounted to a thank you response to Tracey's post. I shared with her 'my' personal experience and communicated why I enjoy her experience/why I 'click' with her.
"Someone" took that opportunity to quote my post and hand me a corrected version, tell me how my perception would change in time, passively play word semantics about my use of the word complacent in my recovery!
MQ, with all due respect, maybe my post was 1) directed as a comment and thank you to the original post and 2) may have resonated with a newbie.
It was rude to copy and paste my reply and then passive aggressively poke holes in it.
Why is it only 'some' of us are asked to take what we like and leave the rest?
I HAVE been. But this particular admin seems to take issue with either 12 step folks or people who have some time in other recovery programs. Not sure what the deal is.
I conversed with you via pm in regards to this and I haven't been the only one. Since then I have been respectful of his posts and not felt the need to share my 'differing opinion' while copy and pasting his.
This constant defense of his ill behavior does not make this a supportive community for all, it makes it a supportive community for some. If they think alike. Or are willing to concede "oh yes, I only have x-amount of time so _______knows the real truth. I will see it/understand it eventually"
I simply bypassed this persons posts.....so then he quotes my thank you to another person and pokes at it??
Not the kind of behavior I would have thought was acceptable.
Ive always said, there is room enough for all different people, all doing a different dance with their own addiction.(s) How about EVERYONE'S experience is considered to have some worth?
And if it doesn't contain worth/value for you personally, in your recovery......you celebrate the fact that some people's experience wasn't designed to help you. It was designed to help the guy/gal behind you.

[El Bandito]

I really enjoy the way that different people's posts resonate with me at different times.

 

I read the Allen Carr book and and therefore probably not far from the 'affirmation' camp of the Sarge, Jonny and MQ. Certainly for me - the key to quitting was the belief (initially FAITH) that smoking does nothing for me.

 

As Comrade puts it "a psyche deal".

 

However - as I have posted elsewhere there are times where I have had to rely on plan B - "Brute Force and Ignorance" or Willpower. Times when a 'hug' from someone here has kept me going.

 

I am also reading a book and sharing thoughts on it here about managing "My Chimp" or emotional responses.

 

There are times that my Chimp wanted to rip the throat out of the Sarge, or Jonny or anyone else telling me that quitting was easy - and that if it wasn't then I was doing it wrong.

 

I think that everyone on this thread has played a part in my quit to date - and I hope that they will continue to do so. 

 

Right now - its Easy Peasy for me - and I firmly believe that this is the best way for ME to quit. One of the joys of this community is the chance to get input from people with experience in this addiction, other addictions - hell, other life experience.

 

I would love the chance to sit down with ALL of you and hear about the life experience that you have - serving in the military, coping with addiction, bringing up families - all manner of things.

[comrade simba]

Some sobering stuff here - excuse the pun. 

 

This place is definitely different things to different people - and I think that is powerful.

 

I nominate that for Quote of the Week.

 

Gotta make sure to avoid creating a system in which you get a big wide "c'mon in" when you show up and are then led, guided or squeezed down an ever narrowing cattle chute. That is a social phenomenon that has destroyed countless numbers of good intentions.

 Like I said in some previous post, if the above happens, all who don't subscribe to a certain "train" of thought will just leave after the attraction to this and other places just like it wears off. What will be left - the long term elders, priest class whatever will all read from the same playbook - and use the fact that they are all on the same page to claim a gospel truth of the teaching. This is the pitfall I'm afraid will be the fate of this place.

 

Listen to what bandito said above. Or not. Hey, I got popcorn.

[Aine]

 

Let's leave the ill-fated agendas at the door so this community is free from personal attacks and "trolls", neither of which reflect who we are or why this forum came into existence.

 

 

 

I wish to be free from "personal attacks." Responses that address me personally with condescending and patronizing replies that negate what I have just said I consider attacks. If there are exceptions to this policy, then it is not a policy.

[Markus]

I walk my own path. I consider everyone else as being on their own trek.

 

Having said that, I want to see the person who is going to tell me how I am to walk, to speak, to think and to be quit. 

 

I want to see the person who can make that stick with me. It never happened and it never will, unless I allow it.

 

I never read Allen Carr, and I don't march under his banner. I am my own army. I happen to like a lot of what is here,

what everyone gives to the place. Some of it doesn't move me at all. Some of it never will. That's life.

 

My life. my quit, I am the same as you. Your path, however you walk it is your business, whatever you consume, you do so willingly.

 

KTQ.

[sgt.barney]

There is only one path to be quit Markus, the Do Not Smoke path.

 

All the rest is irrelevant noise.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[comrade simba]

Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes..

[Markus]

There is only one path to be quit Markus, the Do Not Smoke path.

 

All the rest is irrelevant noise.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

Thanks Sarge, that is truth, the only way, and all that really matters. And yes, all the rest is background clutter.

 

lol@the avi I got it right away

[Markus]

Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes..

 

eggsactly...

[Ladybug]

There is only one path to be quit Markus, the Do Not Smoke path.

 

All the rest is irrelevant noise.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

Sarge ...your Avatar is killing me :-)

[sgt.barney]

Sarge ...your Avatar is killing me :-)

The Sarge's last name in real life is Paul.

 

Right after the surgery he had a jersey made with the Number 1 and name on the back "Juan Ball Paul" (apologies JuanMartino - he didn't know you then ...) And on the front was a One Ball - not exactly the one in the avatar, but close.

 

Folks still ask him what it means - even those who know about ... about his state of affairs down there.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy