The Happy Smoke?

[PixelSketch]

I've been pretty much craving-free since about the third-ish week. I still get a quick smoking thought once in a blue moon, but I laugh at it, and 'poof', it's gone. Just like that. Which, honestly, still shocks me. I never thought I would ever be able to quit. And if by some miracle I did, I was pretty sure I'd be tortured and miserable. I'm thankful every day for this quit, and for this board.

 

So things are good. But the other day I had a really strong and very persistent thought of smoking that I just couldn't shake. I knew I wouldn't smoke anyway. I'm strong in my quit, and I refuse to give it up. There are far too many benefits to being smoke-free that I'm loving so much. I've no desire to go back.

 

But it really annoyed me that I couldn't get rid of this. All day, the thought of smoking just danced around and around my head. Grrrrr!

 

I finally had some time at the end of the day and I sat down with a cup of tea and went back over my day to see if I could find the trigger. 

 

Well, it turns out, I didn't just associate smokes with the beginning or end of a task, as a sort of reward, or treat. I didn't smoke just when I was stressed or bored. I also reached for one when I was REALLY happy or excited about something. Ahhhh....click click click. It all fell into place.

 

I had had a really good day. In the middle of a super crazy project, I unexpectedly had a few personal and professional things just work out in a way I never saw coming. And the sense of excitement, future possibilities as a result, and celebration produced some strong positive feelings. And it turned out I coped with strong intense feelings, even happy ones, by deadening them with a smoke. 

 

So, once I realized this, I needed to test the theory out. So I just gave in to my feelings. I cranked some music and danced my excitement out. And I let myself really, truly feel those feelings. To let myself be really happy. To not worry that something would go wrong or it wouldn't last. Just feel it.  And guess what? The day-long craving finally went away. And another trigger busted. 

 

I don't need The 'Happy' Smoke, or The 'Reward' Smoke, or The 'Stress' Smoke, or The 'I Just Ate Too Much Pizza' Smoke. I just need to let myself experience whatever it is I'm feeling or experiencing. I need to own my feelings. I'm responsible for them. Not some rolled up plant in a piece of paper. :D

 

**On another note....I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:  :wub: I have about three-ish weeks left of crazy hours on this project and then I'll be back here on the regular to help kick some stick butt. LOL Although I'm happy to see the chicks have been doing just fine! YAY!! xx 

 

And it's soo great to see so many new members hop aboard. WELCOME!! Can't wait to get to know you! xx

 

 

[Reciprocity]

Great Post Pix !

 

Yes, we relied on those nasty old smokes as a reward for everything, as you pointed out, Happy, sad, stressed - whatever. That's why it really takes so long to be completely free of those thoughts of smoking. I'm glad your doing so well and are really figuring out the reprogramming thing so well,

 

Well done girl :i-m_so_happy:

 

I hope you get a lot more opportunities to dance up a storm too :dance4: :dance: :party2: :dance2: :girl_dance: :dance3:

[Still winning]

You've done amazingly to identify where it's coming from. It's the one thing we can't explain isn't it, how easy it is not to smoke and that we won't suffer. It's simply about identifying the triggers and either telling them to get lost, or putting a new and healthier habit in. Brilliant post. x

[Doreensfree]

Love this post pixie...that little nico monster.. Knows he's in trouble here..and is still trying a last effort to keep you hooked..but you kicked his butt..

I used to think a cancer stick was my reward..when ever I did anything...

Which was 20 times a day...

We love you too chicky...

[Boo]

I don't need The 'Happy' Smoke, or The 'Reward' Smoke, or The 'Stress' Smoke, or The 'I Just Ate Too Much Pizza' Smoke. I just need to let myself experience whatever it is I'm feeling or experiencing. I need to own my feelings. I'm responsible for them. Not some rolled up plant in a piece of paper. :D

 

That simple realization, figuring out that you never "needed" a cigarette is vital to a successful quit.  That, and realizing that the addiction and cigarettes have exactly as much power as we give them.  You see the whole practice of smoking for the silly exercise in futility that it is and cigarettes for the stupid little inanimate objects they are...there's really nothing to fight.  Just don't put things in your mouth and light them on fire.  Simple.

 

Keep on rockin' in the free world Pixel.

[Sirius]

We come to realize that not smoking is the reward for not smoking. ;)

[Pearlie]

You have an excellent mindset for being quit for such a short period of time!  Keep on getting through those triggers and strengthening your quit!!  Great post!   :)

[Giveintowin]

Good post. Its something I'll keep in mind and watch out for myself, just in case I'm ever happy. I'm BTW not relying o this happening soon. :lol:

[Reciprocity]

Gitw - you are at the point in your quit where things are going to start to turn around for you. I thought the ugliness was never going to end too but then at about the 1 month point, it started to get better for me. It's different for all of us but it's a fact that it WILL get a lot better :)

[onthemark]

We come to realize that not smoking is the reward for not smoking. ;)

 

it's the addict mindset that gets broken... once and for all.

[Dee]

Great job Pixel sometimes we just have to realize the thought is going to be there and we just got to ignore it. Great observation though and so true about the stress smoke, tired smoke happy smoke.  I still have trouble with the "Reward" smoke but I find other things to distract me. And although it always sounded crazy to those around me the smokes after physical labor/ exhausting hikes or work outs. Now I have a beer LOL.

[Nancy]

What a wonderful post!  Thank you!