Newly Quit? Stay away from Smokers.

[Rain Forest]

When you first quit smoking, the most horrible people to be around are the ones still smoking, and it’s not because they smoke.

 

It’s because they don’t understand at all, you are making them feel guilty as hell because you are doing what they “wish” they could do, and they are almost worst than the Nicodemon and it’s craves: they try to get you to smoke.

 

I relapsed a few times before I found my sticky quit… but I sure remember when I first started “trying” to quit, I was still working in an office… all my smoking buddies would come by my desk to get me for our breaks, even offering me a cig… I heard it all, the “so you’re still not smoking?” and “I wish I could quit too, here, come have a smoke with us, one won’t matter.”  Then even worse, they hid from me as if what they were doing was sneaky.

 

I felt particularly bad for this one woman I worked with because she is the reason I quit smoking.  She had been to the doctor and was told if she didn’t quit, she’d be dead in a few years because of various health issues… so they put her on Chantix and she was able to quit smoking… now I saw this: she wasn’t upset, she didn’t seem to have trouble with her quit… so I went to my dr and asked for Chantix too… then I used it… well, the first time I lasted a few months (I was still not educated on my addiction, didn‘t have a clue what I was doing)… my friend ended up going back to smoking as soon as she stopped the Chantix.  But I couldn’t keep happily smoking… once I was quit for more than a few days, I started to see that it’s possible to quit for good.

 

It took me another year before I found my sticky quit, so please, even if you relapse, DO NOT QUIT QUITTING!!!  You can do this, you truly can.  Do not give up.  One of these times, a bell will go off in your head... kinda like what the fox says... DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!! lol

 

This past year, my friend had a really huge scare… they found something on a cat-scan on her lung, and she was terrified that “this is it”.  She lived thru the whole Christmas holiday in fear, thinking the worst… she told me she will quit smoking if it’s not cancer…  Well, after the new year, she found out there was nothing there, she was ok.  She’s still smoking with no plan to quit.  God, I hate to say this, but she is gonna die a smoker.

 

Are you?

[El Bandito]

Sad story.

[Leanna]

Powerful post Rain. Sorry about your friend. :( This addiction is a b*tch. I really do hope she quits smoking, but we can't force her to stop. You would think a scare like that would convince her, but we tend to underestimate the powerful hold addiction has on us. I feel for her and for you. Hugs from afar.

 

I will never smoke. Now that I'm free, I don't plan on going back. I don't avoid smokers as much anymore, but I did in the beginning. I used to "envy" them. Now I just pity them and am disgusted by their habit. 

[Ladybug]

I think I was lucky. My husband smokes, but he has been very supportive. We never smoked inside, even as a smoker I didn't want the smell in the house. I know the whole thing scared him at first. I think he was afraid that this might change our relationship....nothing changed between us. He smokes and I don't. I wish he would quit smoking as well and it sounds like he is thinking about it.

 

I quit with cigarettes in our house, with ashtrays in front of me. There was only one night when it felt overwhelmed and I asked him to hide them in his car. 

 

I think we scare smokers...we show them what they need to do. We remind them that it can be done! 

 

I am sorry about your friend ....you would think a "scare" makes people quit! Maybe one day she will surprise you and will quit and so will my husband...I hope so!

[Soberjulie]

Powerful post Miss Rain.

I watched my lifelong friend die from this addiction......she had a few scares before the scare became a reality. 

And then she didn't quit 'because now it was too late' :(

What began as esophageal cancer eventually metastasized into stomache, pharnyx, palate, jaw, tongue. 

She passed away last year.

 

It took me many more months of smoking and being angry with her.......before I had a rude awakening that I was doing the same thing to myself, and even worse.....my family. :(

[Ladybug]

Powerful post Miss Rain.

I watched my lifelong friend die from this addiction......she had a few scares before the scare became a reality. 

And then she didn't quit 'because now it was too late' :(

What began as esophageal cancer eventually metastasized into stomache, pharnyx, palate, jaw, tongue. 

She passed away last year.

 

It took me many more months of smoking and being angry with her.......before I had a rude awakening that I was doing the same thing to myself, and even worse.....my family. :(

I wish I could jump in my car and drive by your house. I would pick up a nice dessert or something special and we could sit together and talk about our best friends. We could cry and laugh together and I could give you the big hug you so deserve!

 

I am glad you quit!

[Nancy]

Very well said, Rain.  I hope your friend will wake up before it is too late...

 

Julie and LB, so very sorry for your losses...

[Soberjulie]

I wish I could jump in my car and drive by your house. I would pick up a nice dessert or something special and we could sit together and talk about our best friends. We could cry and love together and I could give you the big hug you so deserve!

 

I am glad you quit!

Well Lil'bug.......you just never know. I do have a passport :)

[JackiMac]

Rain very powerful words, so sorry for your friend, the addiction is an awful one, once it has a grip it will not let go I can only hope your friend realises before it is too late that she can quit, and so proud of your quit for you Rain.  Julie and LadyB I feel helpless and just wish I could let you see through these words how much I feel for both of you watching someone you love pass away from this awful addiction, but so very very glad you both had quit.  Hugs from me to you all xx

[Ladybug]

Well Lil'bug.......you just never know. I do have a passport :)

well then.....guess what ...so do I :-) and I always buy smoked salmon in Canada...I might pick it up one year :-)

[action]

'she told me she will quit smoking if it’s not cancer… Well, after the new year, she found out there was nothing there, she was ok. She’s still smoking with no plan to quit.'

 

That is probably the saddest thing I heard all day. Firstly that she would carry on smoking if it was cancer. And then carrying on smoking regardless...

 

There was something horrible to watch at work recently. A guy who was trying to quit smoking... So he didn't have any cigarettes and thought he would be safe (haven't go me can't smoke em)... Then a girl who is a 'casual' smoker fancied a cigarette, but didn't want to go outside and smoke on her own. So she went to the shop, bought cigarettes and talked him into going outside to smoke. I know he choose to do it (and it didn't take much convincing - free cigarettes!), but boy was I mad :(

[Still winning]

I hope your post touches someone and either makes this quit stick or encourages them to start. I feel for you Rain, and your friend, I'm very sorry for this story but I hope it helps someone. xx

[Tink]

Thanks for sharing your story - It`s awful isn`t it that even after a huge scare you friend and others still will not see it for what it is and if or when they do get the dreaded C - they will be full of remorse :(

 

my mum had a shadow on her lung and she was in bits thinking it was cancer - she got the all clear thankfully but  smokes twice as much now - grrrr utter madness!!!

[babs609]

Great post Suz. :)

Been there done that with the bargaining. Only to go back on my word. I thought I was going to die a smoker.

So very grateful I woke up.

[Lynn]

Rain, I am so sorry for your friend.  It is so hard standing back and waiting for them to realize that quitting is doable. I am sure you are a good friend and that is what everyone needs. Thanks for sharing your story.  This is what helps everyone.

[Rain Forest]

LB, never give up hope with your husband… mine quit 5 years before I did, and we were supposed to quit together… I felt guilty that I still smoked but it didn’t stop me, not until I finally came to my senses 5 years later.  So yes, there is always hope!

 

Action, yep… and this all started about 7 years ago when she was first told that she had to stop smoking… yet she went right back to it when the Chantix was gone… and now she had a real scary thing happen and did the bargaining, but she still smokes.

 

Babs, I did the same… but at least we are smart now! Lol

 

That’s why I can’t be mad at my friend or keep telling her to quit… I know that only she can decide.  She knows because I told her that if she ever wants to stop smoking, to let me know, that I can help.  It’s up to her now. 

[queen greenlover]

Some people will never wake up-health scare or not. All you can do is show how much better your life is cause you sent "your friend" packing. :rolleyes: 

[Jonny5]

I sometimes forget how 'trapped' some people are by the prisons of their own minds. I remember how trapped I was. The guilt of endangering myself when I had the responsibility of bring a Father.

 

We all had a wakeup and smell the coffee moment. All we can do is prey thst our friends have theirs. Because first hand experience tells us that no one will stop them smoking until then :-(

 

But we can set examples and tell folk how relatively easy it actually was, in the hope that one of our words flicks that switch. sadly though in trying to help we often piss off a lot of folk. but one day they will understand.... I did :-)

[Rain Forest]

Jonny, I believe that we all have a "wake up and smell the coffee moment"... it's then up to us to decide whether we want to listen to our inner voice or not.  I often wonder why everyone doesn't listen to that voice in their head, and I have no answers... I would like to think we're stronger mentally, but who knows? :)