Dealing with Addiction

[Dee]

I called yesterday to check on the women from my job who was one of my smoking partners. This year she was diagnosed stage 3 lung cancer. She can't work, can barely breath when she isn't coughing and she says to me. "Do you still have the urge to smoke?: I said yes every now and then and you will for a while. Even my Mom who will never smoke again (she two had lung cancer two different kinds) states she thinks about it every now and then, not often though and would never give in. So I tell this to the women and she says I still have a pack in the house. I go are you freaking kidding me you are playing with fire you can't even breath. She says I know I know! Again I suggest to her to find a support group even recommend this one. I know she won't make the effort though and it makes me sad. I do know you can't make an addict do anything they have to want to but it is so frustrating. I told her find a cancer support group she says that's not for me. Now I say find a quit smoke support group she says I don't like the computer much....... Oh well all you can do is plant the seed. Needed to vent.....

[Jackie]

I called yesterday to check on the women from my job who was one of my smoking partners. This year she was diagnosed stage 3 lung cancer. She can't work, can barely breath when she isn't coughing and she says to me. "Do you still have the urge to smoke?: I said yes every now and then and you will for a while. Even my Mom who will never smoke again (she two had lung cancer two different kinds) states she thinks about it every now and then, not often though and would never give in. So I tell this to the women and she says I still have a pack in the house. I go are you freaking kidding me you are playing with fire you can't even breath. She says I know I know! Again I suggest to her to find a support group even recommend this one. I know she won't make the effort though and it makes me sad. I do know you can't make an addict do anything they have to want to but it is so frustrating. I told her find a cancer support group she says that's not for me. Now I say find a quit smoke support group she says I don't like the computer much....... Oh well all you can do is plant the seed. Needed to vent.....

 

And that is how you know smoking is just as dangerous as any other drug....addiction is addiction.  Thinking of this women and hoping she is willing to put up a bit of a fight for her life.  However, you are right Dee, you cannot do anything more than plant the seed.  Vent anytime!

[ExTex]

I wonder how much of addiction is being in the "comfort zone".  By which I mean, we are more comfortable with what is familiar.

If you are familiar with the feelings of smoking - even to the point of cancer - that might feel safer than the great unknown of quitting.

 

I don't know; but it's hard to believe that something THIS addictive is legal.

[Wendy]

"You can't help folk who won't help themselves" ... or something very like that ... I heard it or read it somewhere but yeah, planting that seed is all you can do and hope they catch on sooner rather than later.  

 

Nicotine addiction sucks ... I told about my brother on another thread but my sister also used to smoke and quit years ago using nicotine gum - which she is now addicted too - AND still smokes on a night out or stressful situations.  She also takes drugs for high blood pressure.  I've tried to help but she has head firmly in the sand ...

[Doreensfree]

As sad as it is..you have to want to quit ..for yourself..watching my hubby gasp for his breath ,still didnt make me quit..I used to go as far away from him as I could ,but still smoked..it was my reward ...for nursing him ,and listening to him gasp..

It's was only when my own life was effected..I knew i had to quit..

I have a life long friend..who will probably never quit..no matter what I say...

She is not ready...but that doesn't stop me wishful thinking...

[Stewie]

This addiction is no laughing matter; i quit 1 years ago and still think about it often and i have to tell no when im tempted. All those thousands of dopamine releases come with a price: you will never be totally indifferent to smoking and all it takes to go back is one puff. Its an all or nothing proposition. And it lingers for years! Protect your quit people, watch your back.

[sgt.barney]

You will never be totally indifferent to smoking

LOL nope.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Reciprocity]

Yes, trying to help an addict of anything is extremely frustrating when they just don't want to put in the effort themselves. As they say; "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." 

 

And ExTex mentioned "comfort zone"; well yes, this quitting smoking takes us completely out of our comfort zone and that makes things very uncomfortable for us. It's always tempting to just go back to where our comfort zone is or at least, where we think it is. The longer we stay quit though, the more we are building our new comfort zone. I'm just getting to the point now where I'm starting to feel it. It won't be too long now where I think I will feel quite at ease as a non smoker :)

[Stewie]

LOL nope.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

I really hope you prove me wrong...

[sgt.barney]

I really hope you prove me wrong...

Sarge has been "totally indifferent to smoking" for well over 5 years now, Bro.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[PixelSketch]

You can only do so much. You've planted the seed, you've given the resources, but, horses and water, you know? When you're in the middle of it, you can logically know the dangers, you can be experiencing the ill effects and you will still find a way to rationalize it all away so you can smoke. You need to be ready to walk away. Once you do, you start to see the addiction for what it is. But before that, it's hard.

[Sirius]

Smoking while having lung cancer is a lot like choking on a piece of chicken...and reaching for another piece of chicken.

[Reciprocity]

Reading this reminds me of trying to get my sister to quit drinking. She eventually died alone in her house much too young. It was a combination of smoking and drinking that did her in eventually. She was obviously an addictive personality but I just remember taking her to all kinds of Dr. appointments and help/support group meetings - mostly for the drinking issues. She was sober for a few months before she moved back in on her own and drank/smoked herself to death. I cleaned her house for her children so we could sell it. I never knew how brown ceilings and walls could be until I had to wash down her house with a scrub brush. All that crud was from years of smoking in her house day and night. Funny thing is, I would do that then go outside for a smoke - lol :) How f'ed up is that? That was all before I looked at myself and my own addiction.

[Doreensfree]

Reading this reminds me of trying to get my sister to quit drinking. She eventually died alone in her house much too young. It was a combination of smoking and drinking that did her in eventually. She was obviously an addictive personality but I just remember taking her to all kinds of Dr. appointments and help/support group meetings - mostly for the drinking issues. She was sober for a few months before she moved back in on her own and drank/smoked herself to death. I cleaned her house for her children so we could sell it. I never knew how brown ceilings and walls could be until I had to wash down her house with a scrub brush. All that crud was from years of smoking in her house day and night. Funny thing is, I would do that then go outside for a smoke - lol :) How f'ed up is that? That was all before I looked at myself and my own addiction.

Sorry about your sister R!!!...addiction sucks...xx

[Dee]

Yeah I swear addiction runs in the family. I always remind my son. We have gamblers/drug addicts and Alcoholics on both sides growing up he got tired of me reminding him.  It is so important this way the next generation has a fighting chance. I think sometimes being aware of the behavior keeps us on our toes. My current partner's mother is a founding member of Gam-a-non. Not sure which addictions are the worst.......Guess none is the correct answer. Just gotta stay diligent. 

[Doreensfree]

Every addiction..brings with it heartache ,deciet,lies ,denial..

Good guidance Dee...educate your son..being honest..

We both smoked...but our two children didn't..I'm sure you son will be just fine... Xx

[PixelSketch]

Reading this reminds me of trying to get my sister to quit drinking. She eventually died alone in her house much too young. It was a combination of smoking and drinking that did her in eventually. She was obviously an addictive personality but I just remember taking her to all kinds of Dr. appointments and help/support group meetings - mostly for the drinking issues. She was sober for a few months before she moved back in on her own and drank/smoked herself to death. I cleaned her house for her children so we could sell it. I never knew how brown ceilings and walls could be until I had to wash down her house with a scrub brush. All that crud was from years of smoking in her house day and night. Funny thing is, I would do that then go outside for a smoke - lol :) How f'ed up is that? That was all before I looked at myself and my own addiction.

I'm sorry about your sister R. It's so tough. Same for one of my uncles - alcohol + smoking. And he would quit, go to AA, then go on vacation and start it all up again and in the end it got him. You can't fix it for somebody else - you can support them, but they need to do the heavy lifting for themselves and they have to want to do that. 

[Reciprocity]

^^^ Yes this!

 

I think all that stuff with my sister somehow played into my quit. Seeing all the support she got yet she still couldn't muster the courage & determination to do the heavy lifting she needed to do to win the battles against her own addictions. Seeing this first hand for a long time made it easy for me to realize early on in my quit that no matter what outside assistance or support I would be able to get it would all come down to me in the end. Did I have it in me? Did I want this bad enough to do battle over an unknown period of time?

 

We all see that same thing here daily. The ones that come and stay have that in them and are ready to give it their all. The ones that come then suddenly are gone well; it's maybe just not their time yet.

[PixelSketch]

^^^ Yes this!

 

I think all that stuff with my sister somehow played into my quit. Seeing all the support she got yet she still couldn't muster the courage & determination to do the heavy lifting she needed to do to win the battles against her own addictions. Seeing this first hand for a long time made it easy for me to realize early on in my quit that no matter what outside assistance or support I would be able to get it would all come down to me in the end. Did I have it in me? Did I want this bad enough to do battle over an unknown period of time?

 

We all see that same thing here daily. The ones that come and stay have that in them and are ready to give it their all. The ones that come then suddenly are gone well; it's maybe just not their time yet.

And that's what it's about in the end. Just you. But, that you're able to see it for what it is and learn from others and pass on the knowledge, it helps all around. It helps you, and gives courage and inspiration to those around you who are ready too, but may not know how exactly to do it. It's why this type of forum works so well. 

 

I agree - you need to be ready and your reasons for quitting need to really matter to you as well, I think. If they matter enough, and you want it badly enough, you'll tolerate whatever you have to go through in order to get what you want. If you're half-a$$ing it, well, you'll probably relapse. I've had that before too. I've said I'm quitting, but deep down, I wanted to both quit and smoke and I knew I would fail. This time, I was sure and I had my "why" - my reason for wanting this quit. I use that same idea to get through brutal workouts sometimes - if I have my "why" for getting in shape, I can tolerate any "how". Because it's worth it to me. And I try to frame quitting smoking in the same way. What's my "why"? Why does it matter to me? How much does it matter?