Executive Assistant

[El Bandito]

The below is a repost of a repost of a repost...

 

It is a post that I have found invaluable. I posted it somewhere else today - and LB suggested it have a thread of its own....

 

Triggers: Reminders From Your Executive Assistant 


Original post : Kattatonic Gold/ Freedom member. 


"It's all in your head" has developed a really bad rap in our culture. What's up with that? The power of the brain is remarkable. We should marvel and be impressed. 

Has anyone told you that since physical withdrawal is over... get a grip... or get over it... or something like that? 

What about patience with yourself? You've been informed that it's psychological after 2 weeks . Do you think the impulse to smoke should stop now, now, now? 

Do you think impulses after you have quit for a while indicate you are weak? 
Quite the contrary, actually. Your brain is working as designed. 

Okay, listen up. Your brain is amazing. Every time you do anything, one function your brain performs is to try to save you time and prevent you from repeating past mistakes. So quickly and subconsciously, your brain scans the memory banks for similar circumstances whenever you do anything. When it finds comparable history, it compares that with what you are doing now and alerts you to differences, just like an efficient little assistant. 



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Yesterday I pulled on my day pack, went out the front door and turned left to walk up the street. Suddenly I am hit with a trigger. Why? Because I haven't turned left off my front stoop since before I quit. I quit in the winter and I have either gone out the back door to my car, or turned right to walk to the subway. Turning left means I am going to bother to walk to the grocery, which I haven't done since I quit. 

The part of my brain that tries to save me time, let's call him the Executive Assistant (the EA), recalled past left turns from the stoop. He went down a checklist. What did she need / what did she use on previous excursions like this? Wallet? Check. Keys? Check. Bags? Check. Smokes? NOPE. "Ah, ah, ah, excuse me!" I could imagine him running up behind me yesterday as I set out and picked up pace. "You've forgotten your cigarettes! You're going to need your cigarettes when you get to the café!" (I treat myself to a special coffee when I bother to walk to the market.) 

Remember all those times you forgot your cigarettes and kicked yourself? It was such an inconvenience when you were an active using addict. Back then, your reaction went something like this: "Memo to self. Don't forget the cigarettes!" What I'm calling the 'EA' function in your brain monitors these memos. He got the memos and he's acting on them. He got thousands of memos like that! 

The poor guy is just trying to do his job. So I thanked my EA for trying to save me frustration, reminded him that I no longer smoke and that he should refer to the new Never Take Another Puff memo. 

After my coffee up the street, I paused to listen to the Let's-Smoke trigger, a little different and a more uncomfortable than the Forgot-Your-Cigarettes trigger. There he was again, but this time trying to get me to actually smoke! What a guy! His reasoning? "You've eaten, walked and coffeed, you're about to shop... you are going to want a smoke before you know it and you'd always rather smoke here than while walking home. Always! Always!" 

This guy is no dummy. I did in fact send him that memo many, many times. For heavens sake, I smoked for 25 years. The filing cabinets are full of those old memos. 

How to teach an old dog new tricks? Well the EA in our brains can and does learn new routines all the time. We may learn slower as we age but we do still learn and adapt, especially if we do it consciously. We have to note new memos to ourselves, sometimes several times and we have to be kind to ourselves... or our ‘EAs’. The kinder and calmer you are, the more chance you have of him 'getting it' each time. So what to do in the café? 

I said to my EA, "Thanks! I appreciate the reminder but you have to look at the newer One = All memo again. I am not going to smoke today or ever. Please remember that coffee time is no longer smoke time." 

He will get it; I know he will. It will just take a while and a walk through all my various scenarios. He is really very, very good. He learned so well the first time -- I have to give him time to learn the new mandate. 

Thanks for reading my ramblings. You are doing it,! It is doable! It does get better and it is worth it... wait! Make that, YOU are worth it. Yes, you are.The factor that really shows the addiction is not how hard or how easy it is to quit. What really shows the addiction is how universally easy it is to go back. One puff and the quit can go out the window.UCanQuit 

 

 

[Ladybug]

thank you El Bandito :-)

[sherry]

I really like this El B thank you!!

[Evelyn]

Good read :)

[Jenny]

I love that post!  Thank you Bandit!!

[Leanna]

This is fantastic. Thanks for sharing EB!

[sharonsiff]

This is excellent!

[Soberjulie]

This should be bumped. Often. :)

[Still winning]

I read this too, it's pretty powerful, brilliant idea both of you's to share it here. x

[JackiMac]

Fantastic post El B thanks for sharing.

[Nicole Diver]

This one helped me so much!

[Amy]

This is a good one- it has been 13 days and I still feel like I am missing something when I am walking out the door.  Purse, phone,

keys check.. cigarettes -  no I don't smoke.

[El Bandito]

This is a good one- it has been 13 days and I still feel like I am missing something when I am walking out the door.  Purse, phone,

keys check.. cigarettes -  no I don't smoke.

Yep. We spend years training our EA and then get frustrated when that training takes more than a couple of weeks to undo...

[Amy]

Hat to read this one again

[Doreensfree]

This was a great read....

[Colleen]

Bump for the newbies...Tremendous help to me in the beginning :)

[Sazerac]

The below is a repost of a repost of a repost...

 

It is a post that I have found invaluable. I posted it somewhere else today - and LB suggested it have a thread of its own....

 

Triggers: Reminders From Your Executive Assistant 

 

 

Original post : Kattatonic Gold/ Freedom member. 

 

 

"It's all in your head" has developed a really bad rap in our culture. What's up with that? The power of the brain is remarkable. We should marvel and be impressed. 

 

Has anyone told you that since physical withdrawal is over... get a grip... or get over it... or something like that? 

 

What about patience with yourself? You've been informed that it's psychological after 2 weeks . Do you think the impulse to smoke should stop now, now, now? 

 

Do you think impulses after you have quit for a while indicate you are weak? 

Quite the contrary, actually. Your brain is working as designed. 

 

Okay, listen up. Your brain is amazing. Every time you do anything, one function your brain performs is to try to save you time and prevent you from repeating past mistakes. So quickly and subconsciously, your brain scans the memory banks for similar circumstances whenever you do anything. When it finds comparable history, it compares that with what you are doing now and alerts you to differences, just like an efficient little assistant. 

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Yesterday I pulled on my day pack, went out the front door and turned left to walk up the street. Suddenly I am hit with a trigger. Why? Because I haven't turned left off my front stoop since before I quit. I quit in the winter and I have either gone out the back door to my car, or turned right to walk to the subway. Turning left means I am going to bother to walk to the grocery, which I haven't done since I quit. 

 

The part of my brain that tries to save me time, let's call him the Executive Assistant (the EA), recalled past left turns from the stoop. He went down a checklist. What did she need / what did she use on previous excursions like this? Wallet? Check. Keys? Check. Bags? Check. Smokes? NOPE. "Ah, ah, ah, excuse me!" I could imagine him running up behind me yesterday as I set out and picked up pace. "You've forgotten your cigarettes! You're going to need your cigarettes when you get to the café!" (I treat myself to a special coffee when I bother to walk to the market.) 

 

Remember all those times you forgot your cigarettes and kicked yourself? It was such an inconvenience when you were an active using addict. Back then, your reaction went something like this: "Memo to self. Don't forget the cigarettes!" What I'm calling the 'EA' function in your brain monitors these memos. He got the memos and he's acting on them. He got thousands of memos like that! 

 

The poor guy is just trying to do his job. So I thanked my EA for trying to save me frustration, reminded him that I no longer smoke and that he should refer to the new Never Take Another Puff memo. 

 

After my coffee up the street, I paused to listen to the Let's-Smoke trigger, a little different and a more uncomfortable than the Forgot-Your-Cigarettes trigger. There he was again, but this time trying to get me to actually smoke! What a guy! His reasoning? "You've eaten, walked and coffeed, you're about to shop... you are going to want a smoke before you know it and you'd always rather smoke here than while walking home. Always! Always!" 

 

This guy is no dummy. I did in fact send him that memo many, many times. For heavens sake, I smoked for 25 years. The filing cabinets are full of those old memos. 

 

How to teach an old dog new tricks? Well the EA in our brains can and does learn new routines all the time. We may learn slower as we age but we do still learn and adapt, especially if we do it consciously. We have to note new memos to ourselves, sometimes several times and we have to be kind to ourselves... or our ‘EAs’. The kinder and calmer you are, the more chance you have of him 'getting it' each time. So what to do in the café? 

 

I said to my EA, "Thanks! I appreciate the reminder but you have to look at the newer One = All memo again. I am not going to smoke today or ever. Please remember that coffee time is no longer smoke time." 

 

He will get it; I know he will. It will just take a while and a walk through all my various scenarios. He is really very, very good. He learned so well the first time -- I have to give him time to learn the new mandate. 

 

Thanks for reading my ramblings. You are doing it,! It is doable! It does get better and it is worth it... wait! Make that, YOU are worth it. Yes, you are.The factor that really shows the addiction is not how hard or how easy it is to quit. What really shows the addiction is how universally easy it is to go back. One puff and the quit can go out the window.UCanQuit 

 

 

This is an excellent post, El B

[sherry]

I'm bumping this for the newbies,  and myself..  

 

I got the Christmas decorations out to sort thru this morning and kept fighting the urge to go outside and smoke, then I realized, I haven't done this since I quit...

 

I woke up my E.A.

 

but now that I know thats what it was I can brush it off and get to untangling the lights.. (that I swear I had very neatly put away last year *humph*) 

[El Bandito]

Marti - my favourite Dopey tart

[Still winning]

Love you too my favourite cross dresser!! Will read and read again, cheers muchly.

[El Bandito]

'Atta Girl.

 

I still get surprise cravings...around month celebration time usually. 

 

Just gotta laugh them off really!

[Colleen]

Bump for the newbies :)

[Kristin]

I love this thread!

[Still winning]

Bump for J :) x

[Blackstorm]

Awesome read indeed!