I am so F#cking angry and raging

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[Soberjulie]

I think doing laundry is a little bit different than smoking.

 

And even with a heroin addiction, one does not quit until they are ready. And have the mindset to do it.

 

You can't talk someone into quitting. They have to want it and be willing to do whatever it takes to obtain/ keep it.

 

Sorry Evelyn, keep beating your head against the wall.

 

For me, that didn't work. I had to get ready and be WILLING AND WANT TO do whatever is necessary to stay quit.

Speaking from first hand experience:

I did not want to stop drinking. I did not want to stop snorting cocaine. I did not want to quit smoking.

What I wanted was to do all these things without impunity. No repercussions. No consequences.

I was WILLING to quit.

I did not want to.

 

In my experience, when I make choices based on feelings (or lack of certain feelings) rather than facts.....then I am often (almost always) choosing wrong.

 

Laundry vs quitting smoking?

When it comes to want to vs willingness...it's the same thing.

Exact same thing.

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[Soberjulie]

I don't believe that. With all due respect, there HAS to be desire in the equation. Whether it may be from not wanting to die or wanting to quit.... the desire HAS to be in the equation.

 

 

Happy, sad, angry, glad..... those are emotions. Want and willing are actions. They are not emotions.

 

 

Yes, if you are smoking your laundry. But not the same in relation to quitting smoking cigarettes. Or even heroin.

 

We, more so y'all as I have not been here that long this time, have been telling her over and over to quit. Have you been successful in her quitting ?

 

Maybe, she needs to make the decision to find what works for her and she needs to do it.

 

Again, no one, not you, not me, not Sarge or anyone can make her quit. Until she gets BOTH her feet under her, she will continue to fail and fail. Which is being proven over and over again.

 

One day, she will stop. But it will be when SHE makes the decision to want it bad enough and is willing to do whatever it takes.

 

Until then, she is only beating her head against a wall and reinforcing to herself how she can't do it.

With all due respect, you don't need to believe my personal experience for it to be true.

 

And the bottom line, as I see it:

It's counterproductive to advise someone to continue smoking....on a QUIT SMOKING support forum.

There are many things to say, but 'continue smoking' shouldn't be one of them.

Not here.

[Doreensfree]

Can I just say...over the 3 years...

The board has always supported our Evelyn..she has always as far as I can remember wanted to quit..

Speaking for myself..I have never tried to talk her into quitting..just supported her every time she can here and said she has quit..

I hope and pray...she finds a way..if thats what she wants..which I think it is...because she feels proud..

My best everyone..

[sgt.barney]

It's counterproductive to advise someone to continue smoking....on a QUIT SMOKING support forum.

 

There are many things to say, but 'continue smoking' shouldn't be one of them.

Not here.

Right?

 

Not just here.

 

Not ANYWHERE.

 

Not EVER.

 

For. Any. Reason.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

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[sharonsiff]

Evelyn I think Tiff hits on a good point, have you yourself read Allen Car's book?

 

It allows you to remove the illusions, that smoking gives you pleasure, without the stress of not being able to smoke...while reading it. You still have the work to do, yourself, but for millions of people it helps in that it reaches the part of the brain needed, the switch.

 

If you have got the book read it again, question it, lose yourself in it. If you haven't you should seriously consider making a purchase.

 

You know you have to do it but I suspect you don't believe you actually can. You can, anyone can, once you've first got all your ducks in a row. Is it likely to feel uncomfortable? Probably yes, but seriously no worse than you must be feeling now. After uncomfortable comes the peace....priceless peace.....buckle up for discomfort knowing the reward awaits you.

[Evelyn]

You all deserve an awsner. I'm far from stabile. I'm thrown in the towel - going to move to a home with more support. I'm too mentally labile. I'm so tired. Burned up. Done with fghting, depressed. Going to my psy tomorrow. No matter what yo can all judge or think. I do have serious issues. And I'm sccared one day I'll end up killing myself for real, IF I do not start changing things. I wish I died. My life is hell. Always has been. I'm so so sad. Smoking is not my concern, becoming stabaleised again is. I'm so tired of life. If there's such a thing of a god he's incredibly cruel and cowardly and I hate him and I spit on him. I curse my dad and hope he still suffers for what he did to me. I have no hope

[Evelyn]

I want you all to know I fought, and still fight... and that I care a lot about you all. If I recover I'll come back. Promise. Those on facebook.... even hardly know my struggles. I want you to know, all of you I tried. I gave my best, I did. 

[Sunnyside]

Evelyn. Look after yourself xxxx

[Doreensfree]

Do what you have too Evelyn..to get yourself well...

We will be here for you... If you want ..or need us..

Hugs xxxx

[sharonsiff]

I hope you find some mental peace real soon Evelyn...please take care xx

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[jimmy]

? im I blind I don't see anything   tiff?

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