I am so F#cking angry and raging

[Evelyn]

And I dunno why. I wanna curse and scream... I wanna throw over stuff. SOOOO friggin angry. WHY does it have to be so hard???!!! Am I the only f*cked up soul who thinks this sticks? I hate it that I use so much soda, but can't quit both... first nicotine then soda. I'm so... alone...  :sorry: and wann cry and my teards are drippin on my table and I just dunno what I'm doing anymore. Not lighting that friggin cigarette :ph34r:

[Soberjulie]

Pick up your guitar.

Strum us a tune.

 

[MarylandQuitter]

Evelyn, I'm glad you're venting and have committed to NOPE and refuse to light up.  What are you trying to quit, drinking soda as in pop? 

[...]

Evelyn, I was there a few days ago.

 

I love that you're angry.

 

The thing is.......quitting smoking isn't what is making you feel like this. Smoking is what makes you feel like this. You smoke and the feeling goes away. for a while. But it's that smoke that will eventually cause you to feel like this again until you smoke another.

 

You can choose to be a prisoner to it. Or not.

 

Like Sarge said, go run. Run your little butt off.

 

Do anything but smoke. Remember, it's your brain and you have complete control over it. Teach it something today. Teach it that it can live without smoking.

[Evelyn]

J already ****** up. I smoked and blowed

[Soberjulie]

J already ****** up. I smoked and blowed

I'm sorry to hear that Evelyn

 

It's a bitch-of-an-addiction.....that unfortunately some will never be free from.

Don't let yourself be one of them.

I watched someone die from the effects of nicotine addiction.

It wasn't pretty. It wasn't peaceful. It wasn't serene.

It was tragic and ugly and ....well....I'll write about my sweet Christie again someday.

 

You deserve better Evelyn.

[Abby]

You cannot smoke what you don't have .Throw the rest in water. Own your quit . You'll be proud you did .  

I threw 3 unopened pkgs of cigs away during my anger . No darn way they would control me anymore! Get angry at what is stealing your joy ( CIGARETTES ) by refusing to buy them ; bum , beg  borrow or steal  them or search for butts .   

 

You don't need to smoke anymore Evelyn .

Cigarettes are not your friends  They want to hurt you .

Write a good bye letter to them ? 

 

You can change the things that YOU can .The past is the past now , and today is a new clean slate . Don't smoke . Do yourself a favor ; take your power back and douce them .  

You are not a bad person ; addiction got you ; just pick yourself up and get at er again. No smoking .

You cannot change others Evelyn or past events if that is what upset you but you can change yourself  and you can make good choices.  You are worth it . You are of value . You do have purpose ... smoking is getting in the way of that .

Injesting smoke?  yuk .

Feed yourself good things :) and you will feel better .  

 

You can heal Evelyn .  You are safe . You are among friends here .   Post before you smoke and wait for responses .  It may be a while for one of us to get back to you, but NEVER smoke until we do ...even if a day goes by .. Do something to distract and delay and keep your self busy . If smoking says take me show it to the door and kick it out with a good swift kick in the rear  ! Its not welcome in your home anymore .

 

I do try and check in most evenings and mornings if I am not busy . In fact I was on last night so please post help if you need help .  

Addiction feeds us lies. Cunning isn't it ? It tempts, and it lies  . You have to starve temptation and addiction . It will go away if you do . Us addicts are good at believing such lies . Quit believing the lies Evelyn . You are a good person . STOP telling yourself your not good enough, worthy enough, or smart enough . ( whatever your beilieving )  You are deserving of this quit. 

 

Smoking is a choice Evelyn for all of us and in most cases when we smoke it is a reaction to something but  ;  it is not a solution .. the solution is NOT TO smoke ; smoking is part of the problem.

 

Do something different . Change what YOU CAN change .

You play guitar? then play , sing ,  take a walk , write a song , go to sleep .

Smoking is not on the options list.  EVER !

 

Wouldn't surrendering be easier than battling it ?  Think about it . You don't have to fight this battle Evelyn just surrender.  Accept your quit , take whatever comes ...keep it smoke free, and enjoy your day of freedom. If there is a zoo close by go.... You will  laugh and smile and have some fun. Evelyn . Quitting is serious business but go have fun while your quitting ...don't feel sorry , feel happy . Thats why your quitting . You don't have to battle this quit  . Its yours  .  I understand it may make you feel vulnerable  uneasy, nervous and scared : but you are safe  now  . Surrendering won't hurt you . It is healing  . Smoking is hurting you .  

You posted the SOS after you smoked .

Post an SOS before you smoke then distract and delay until you get a response back .  I don't know if anything I have said helps. You know what you have to do Evelyn . Make your plan on what you will change and do to keep your quit.  We can only give suggestions and our support  . The rest is up to you.

 

Choices . If you want to keep quit , you will never have a cig in the house. They will taunt you Evelyn . Get rid of them and they won't stand a chance as long as you don't let them .  NON smokers do not have cigs. Are you a non smoker ? Own your quit Eveyn . Get mad;  scream in a pillow ... and cry . Are you ready to let this addiction go?  

 

     

[Doreensfree]

Aww Evelyn..watching you here..is so painful..

All we have said over the years..and you are still struggling...

You have learned all there is about this addiction that is slowly killing you...

Throw them out... Dust down...and come back with your two feet in..not one in and one out...

You have to fight the craves..with everything you've got...

[Abby]

Were you able to speak with your doctor and let him/her know your quitting and if a med adjustment would be suitable? Are you on an NRT?

I think if you have mental health issues it is important to work closely  with your doctor while you are quitting. Please check in with him or her .Get the best possible team and you can do this Evelyn .   

[sgt.barney]

J already ****** up. I smoked and blowed

You can be where we are ... or you can smoke.

 

You can't have both.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[...]

J already ****** up. I smoked and blowed

 

 

You know Evelyn, I am going to say something that most on here may not agree with.  But I feel it needs to be said.

 

You need to continue smoking.  Don't quit.  

 

I don't say this cause I have given up on you.  I say this because I don't think you WANT to quit.  I do believe you want to want to.  And there is a huge difference. 

 

Take some more time smoking.  But in that time, with every cigarette you smoke, tell yourself how much you don't like them.  Notice the little things it does to you.  When you get tired so easily..... remember that's from that cigarette you smoked.  When you cough, know it's because you are poisoning your lungs.  When your fingertips and toes are cold, remind yourself how smoking affects your circulation.  And when you get tired of all the crap that you're doing to yourself..... really really tired..... then try again.  But choose a time when you KNOW your heart and soul are in it.  But forcing a quit is only accomplishing your affirmation that it's ok to relapse.  Resulting in self torture.  

 

I want you to stick around here.  You do have friends here.  That care about you immensely. 

 

And when the time is yours, claim it.  And we will be here rooting for you.  

 

But I don't believe the time is now.  

[Sunnyside]

I happen to agree with Tiffany. You aren't doing yourself any favours by going around and around in circles.

 

Your heart doesn't really seem in it. You seem to be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

 

We all know smoking is bad. We all know there is no better time than the present to quit.

 

But unless you can be fully committed to your quit there is no point.

 

Get yourself strong and ready to quit again and we will be here to help xxx

[sgt.barney]

Don't listen to them up there ^^^.

 

They're in cahoots with your inner junkie and you don't need that.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

[since farking when do we tell folks to go ahead and smoke fer fux sake - since when?]

[Nancy]

J already ****** up. I smoked and blowed

Evelyn, you need to make up your mind if smoking is okay or not.  You have put yourself and everyone on this board that cares about you through hell for years.  It is just too much!  Sorry if I seem unkind.

[Sunnyside]

^^^^^ I'm not in touch with my inner junkie thoughts. My point is Evelyn has been quit, smoke for awhile now. Relapsing all that time can knock your confidence.

 

This maybe unpopular to say but I don`t see her being serious about this.

 

I know life is hard, but we all know it is excuses. Sarge. I'm telling her to have a break. That's all.

[...]

Don't listen to them up there ^^^.

 

They're in cahoots with your inner junkie and you don't need that.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

[since farking when do we tell folks to go ahead and smoke fer fux sake - since when?]

 

Sarge.....

 

She had a week quit with nicotine spray and when she decided to "quit cold turkey", so she threw that quit away and she smoked until the next day.  She chose not to just put down the spray and quit.  

 

Thing is.... we have been telling her not to smoke.  And she's smoking away.  All I am saying is take a break.  You can't force a quit.  She's not even trying.  She has one day of being upset and off she goes to smoke.  Doesn't matter what we say.  She's not ready.  

 

Does that mean she will never be ready ?  No.  It doesn't.  Just means right now..... she's only torturing herself.  

[Evelyn]

You are right. I'm not ready. I'm gonna smoke for now. And... As my Dr. To adjust my meds. I'm not stabile. Zyban instead of my other antidepressants might be an option. I'll be back.

[MarylandQuitter]

You are right. I'm not ready. I'm gonna smoke for now. And... As my Dr. To adjust my meds. I'm not stabile. Zyban instead of my other antidepressants might be an option. I'll be back.

 

Evelyn, unless your doctor tells you to keep smoking, you need to quit.  I could never tell anybody to continue smoking under any circumstances, ever.  Quitting smoking is not going to interfere with antidepressants that you're taking. I've never read that or even heard that and trust me, I've read lots of scientific research on nicotine and it's effects on the brain and there is not one doctor who would tell a patient to continue smoking unless they just didn't give a shit about the person or was sadistic.

 

I've watched a family member suffer for decades with emphysema and his last couple of years he suffered greatly.  His last days dying were horrific watch him unable to breathe.  I've watched a very close friend live with and eventually die from emphysema and it too was not pretty.  This isn't like normal aging that just getting old and "dying from something", it's torture.  Quit before it's too late because once you get this (and other smoking related diseases) all you can do is mitigate, at best.

 

If you're trading your commitment to NOPE to a commitment of smoking and somehow thinking that you're doing yourself a favor, then I highly suggest that you spend every waking hour reading about nicotine addiction.  Watch these videos right now.

 

Do You Really Need To Want To Quit More Than You Want To Smoke?

An often quoted comment is that many people fail to quit or to stay off of smoking because they wanted to smoke more than they wanted to quit. Video discusses how this is not necessarily the reason why people fail in their quits. It is not that they don’t want to quit bad enough, but rather that they don’t understand what they need to do to quit and stay off and what their real options are regarding quitting and smoking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4FlmmeOeoo

 

Smoking A Cigarette Will Help Me Secure My Quit

Video discusses how some people can bargain themselves into smoking with the thought that taking a cigarette that tastes bad will reinforce their resolve to stay smoke free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY6tAeam9Lg&index=41&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB

 

How To Quit Smoking - I'm not suggesting this video as an insult but rather because there are very, very important piece of information that are relevant to your situation.

Video lays out simple tips for people wanting to quit smoking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l27zWo7hbcY

 

I Can't Quit Or I Won't Quit

Video discusses how anyone can quit smoking but there are people who won't quit smoking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i22AI_prRQI

[Doreensfree]

I can only agree one hundred per cent with MQ...if you havnt seen emphysema.. If you don't think it's as bad as its sounds..your so wrong...this is a very cruel and life changing disease...

Once you have it..no cure...

Don't think..im OK..it won't happen to me....

[El Bandito]

Hey Evelyn.

 

How are you today?

 

We know the score. Me and you, we don't take on big, complicated stuff. We keep it simple.

 

Not One Puff Ever...just for today.

 

Tomorrow? We will deal with that tomorrow.

 

I know things are tough Evelyn, but you will get there. Same as I did. One day at a time.

 

;-)

[Evelyn]

Working on a plan the campange

[...]

.

[sgt.barney]

I could never tell anybody to continue smoking under any circumstances, ever.

 

 

 

Finally.

 

Some fooking sense injected into this thread.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Soberjulie]

I'm with Sarge.

Willingness doesn't mean "want to"

One can be willing to quit without feeling like they want to.

If I wait until I want to do the laundry, it won't get done. Yet, I'm willing to do the laundry in spite of how I feel.

 

Smoking because one is angry/lonely/tired/bored etc is simply a godforsaken excuse to indulge the addiction.

[Soberjulie]

Replace the word smoking or nicotine with heroin.

Would anyone really tell another "Nah...I think you need to keep using heroin for awhile, at least until you get your feet under you..."

Good lawd NO.

 

So why with nicotine?