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***trying not to beat myself up - thoughts?***

crush_95

By crush_95
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crush_95 Newbie

crush_95

Posted
Posted

So here is the thing. I have smoked about a pack a day for 20 years. About a week ago I watched Allan Carr's video and immediately cut down to from 20 a day. I am really trying to get rid of those last 2-3 at night. You know the ones that are glorious with a cocktail after the kids are in bed. Of course they are no different than any others. I feel so guilty about it when think about what Allan Carr would say. In addition my wife is almost ready to quit, just not there yet (she will be soon) so there are cigarettes in the house. The reality is we are almost at the finish line. In the meantime I am trying not beat myself up as going from 20-30 a day down to 2 or 3 is a MAJOR accomplishment. I am not pathetic, I am making great strides and also can be gentle on myself as I try to unwind the evening rituals.Two nights ago instead of smoking I took my daughter out to dinner. Was awesome. Anyway this takes a little time. No I WILL NOT fall back into 20 a day. No, I am nearing the finish line and feel good about it mentally, physically, emotionally. Calm down. Anyway just wanted to get that out. This is such a heady game. Need to stay positive instead of going negative and feeling like a failure.

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crush_95 Newbie

crush_95

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Toss them away. You don't need them. Not really. Are they that great? No it's the law of addiction.

 

Thanks I know it is coming. Looking forward to when it does. Just trying to stay positive instead of destroying myself. The sun is rising.

jimmy Explorer

jimmy

Posted
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hi crush 95  take it 1 day at a time, belive in your self, you can do this.     rome wanst built in 1 day,  

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crush_95 Newbie

crush_95

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hi crush 95  take it 1 day at a time, belive in your self, you can do this.     rome wanst built in 1 day,  

 jimmy omg about to cry. thank you. only smokers and ex-smokers know the struggle is real. the support is appreciated. just want to keep the compass pointed north. 

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Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
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Crush ..welcome aboard...

Read all you can here..learn about this awful addiction...it's the law of addiction that keep one hooked..

Don't over think..

Smoking is not on the table no matter what...this is what got me through the first few months...

Those who stay close to the board ..post every day..are the ones that succeed.the most...

Congrats on the best decision ,you could ever make..

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Abby Rising Star

Abby

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Congratulations on your achievements thus far Crush. 

Welcome to quit train .You can do this. You will not regret quitting . It really will change not just your health but your life as well  .

Glad you have joined us .

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crush_95 Newbie

crush_95

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Congratulations on your achievements thus far Crush. 

Welcome to quit train .You can do this. You will not regret quitting . It really will change not just your health but your life as well  .

Glad you have joined us .

 

Thanks so much Sherri. This feels great. Can't wait to have this damn thing in the rear view mirror.

  • Like 1
babs609 Apprentice

babs609

Posted
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Hi Crush!

Congrats on your quit journey so far!  As Doreen said....best thing you can do is educate yourself and learn all about the lies the addiction tries to make us believe.

 

Eventually....if you continue to smoke 1 of 2 things will happen:

 

1.  You will go back to 20 a day or more

2.  you will continue to smoke 2-3 a day and be miserable about it...and also continue to be a slave to the addiction.  Then....when something bad happens in your life...which is LIFE and it happens to all of us...you will turn to your trusty "friend" who has always "been there for you". 

 

Eventually, #1 will happen.....It's the laws of addiction..nobody is the exception

 

So my advice is...read, watch the videos and set a date!  So far so good but set that date and be done with it.  Best gift you can give yourself

  • Like 1
crush_95 Newbie

crush_95

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thanks babs - yes I know the fine line I am walking. I am aware of that. Let's keep in mind that time is compressed right now. I just cut back a week ago today. I agree I can't let this drag on. What I needed today in this day was to move past horrible guilt feelings.

 

Hi Crush!

Congrats on your quit journey so far!  As Doreen said....best thing you can do is educate yourself and learn all about the lies the addiction tries to make us believe.

 

Eventually....if you continue to smoke 1 of 2 things will happen:

 

1.  You will go back to 20 a day or more

2.  you will continue to smoke 2-3 a day and be miserable about it...and also continue to be a slave to the addiction.  Then....when something bad happens in your life...which is LIFE and it happens to all of us...you will turn to your trusty "friend" who has always "been there for you". 

 

Eventually, #1 will happen.....It's the laws of addiction..nobody is the exception

 

So my advice is...read, watch the videos and set a date!  So far so good but set that date and be done with it.  Best gift you can give yourself

Boo Veteran

Boo

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Welcome aboard Crush.  You absolutely should be positive about setting yourself free and nothing in what you wrote is "pathetic."  You're preparing to set yourself free and improve your life.  That is an awesome endeavor.

 

Speaking from personal experience, you're not doing yourself any favors by cutting back.  I cut back on a couple of occasions and found it to be the worst of both worlds.  I was experiencing the withdrawal and obsessive thoughts of a new quit, but was still smoking.  I was feeding the beast and then spending the rest of the day trying to hold it at bay.  I found quitting to be easier and more rewarding than cutting back.

 

You've taken the initial steps and freedom is sitting right there waiting for you to grab it.  Congratulations.

Sunnyside Rising Star

Sunnyside

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Hi Crush,

 

Big congratulations for cutting down so quickly. Now in your own time how about jumping that gap completely and letting go of those last cigarettes.

 

I promise we will catch you when you do and if you stick by us we will all hold out a helping hand.

babs609 Apprentice

babs609

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Crush....I don't mean to disregard your feelings....believe me...but we have all been there. Each and every one of us. But the truth is, the longer you linger in this place....the stronger the addiction gets and the weaker your resolve is to beat it. No sense in beating yourself up....it's a waste of time. We could all beat ourselves up for smoking as long as we did. But we can't change what's done...only move forward.

Petra Newbie

Petra

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Welcome, Crush!

 

That time right before we quit for good really is difficult.  We're ready but also fearful and apprehensive.

 

Cutting down for a short bit might help you prep yourself, but really it just prolongs the agony.  Just like the others said, you crave all day and continue the addiction.  It's a miserable place to be.  

 

I tried lots of different methods to quit, gum, cutting back, patches, pills, but none of those worked for me.  Cold turkey was what ultimately worked for me. I decided that I would not put another cigarette in my mouth.  During the first couple of weeks, there were moments that were hard - I cried, I got angry, I wanted to smoke.  I did not give in.  I came to the non-smoking forum and distracted myself in other ways too.  I also tried to think positively about the awesome changes I was making for myself.  I tried to be excited about my quit every day!  The happy, positive moments by far outweighed the downer moments.  Allen Carr's book helped me a ton. We are gaining so much freedom and losing absolutely NOTHING!  

 

We'd love to get you know you and your wife and help you both along your journey to freedom.  There are a few couples who have quit together.  You can do it! 

:)

 

The chicks and sticks game is a great place to go for fun and distraction.  It may seem like a silly game, but people in there goof off and have fun.  You get to know people and they help you stay quit! :)

sgt.barney Apprentice

sgt.barney

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I am making great strides

 

LOLNope.

 

Your first stride, your first step... will be your first day with ZERO cigarettes.

 

Until then, the denial isn't helping.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

ChRiSpY Newbie

ChRiSpY

Posted
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Can't tell you how many times I cut down until I realized that method did not work for me.

 

If it works for you... good... but if you fall... cut the shit out.

 

Keep on keepin on.

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