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Success or failure?


Abby

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Were you scared of succeeding ; failure, or both ?

What I thought was scared of failing was actually that I was scared I might succeed . Succeeding mean't I would never smoke again . It was not the fact I would fail but the fact maybe ; just maybe I could succeed and become that ex smoker .

I was scared because I wasn't sure I knew how to handle "life" without a cigarette . I smoked 25 years and used a cigarette to cope with everything; even the successes in my life . I wasn't sure I could do on my own WITHOUT a cigarette what I could do WITH a cigarette .

Found out you can :)

So I was afraid of failure ,yet I was also afraid of succeeding , how about you ?

 

 

 

 

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I wouldn't say I was scared of failure, but the full acceptance of being done with cigarettes and identifying as a committed non-smoker is still a work in progress for me.  I recognize the many benefits of quitting and have no desire to smoke again, but I allowed smoking to become a part of my identity.  A quarter-century of addiction and conditioning takes a bit of time to undo.

 

No regrets.  I just have to stay out of my own way and allow the process to proceed.

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I was definitely scared of both. Smoking was me. I hated it most of the time. But there were times it felt like it was the rule to smoke. I could never cope completely without it.

 

I tried and failed so many times. Confidence that I could break free was at an all time low.

 

Of course I now know that I don't have to smoke. There really is nothing to be scared of. You just have to mean it. Things change by their selves in time. Normality does resume.

 

The only thing I really look back on now, is why did it take me so long to get it. The control was mine. No need to be scared ;)

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Conformity is my major trigger in the decision for quitting smoking all at once. I was so hungry for success but so scared for failure. I know that I can't do it by myself. Resorting for help from other people especially treatment centers like BLVD, may help a lot in overcoming this battle between fear of success and fear of failure. Sometimes, we just have to listen to the experts and let them help us. Instead of moving towards self-destruction. 

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My chief worry is that my quitting "feels" brittle at times.  Like I'm just one puff away from livin' in the ashtray.

 

When I was early on in my quit I was worried that I was going to lose a piece of myself during the process.

 

That I would change and some part of me would be left behind.

 

Nope, it's all still here.  Including the smoker.  

 

I just don't smoke.

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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