Letter from Pet owner to cats and dogs!

[Ladybug]

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The 
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a 
paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim 
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that 
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. 
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't 
help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry 
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on
the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl 
up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep 
perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent 
possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out an d having 
tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. 
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door 
shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the 
knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. 
I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been 
using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's 
butt. 
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on 
our front door: 


To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About MY Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

 

[Jenny]

OMG, that is too cute!  I love my pets like my children.  I am especially fond of cats because I love the attitude. 

 

It's nice of them to let us live in their world.

[sherry]

Love this LB!!!!  And yes, I'm one who likes my 4 legged children better then  "real" people., thanks for posting this...re the hair on the fur-niture - i have an ex-mother in law i wish i could send this to !! LOL!!!!

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I love this LB :)