A newbie struggling to be a Non-smoker

[SandiW]

Hello,

Today is the morning of Day 4 of no cigarettes. The craving's are real! The pain is real! The mind-******* of 'just one' is REAL.

 

I have cried so many tear's.....why? Tear's because I am/was/becoming less addicted to nicotine? How pathetic!  :(

 

Tear's because I do not want to fail. Tear's because I know, after reading all of your stories, watching the video's, how important this is, not just for me, but for my family & friend's. Tear's because I let a cigarette, take such control over me. WOW!! I absolutely had no idea how addicted I was {am}. I'm struggling.....but I am determined!

 

I do not want any sugar-coated BS about 'how easy it is'............IT IS NOT!! I just want to read about the first 7 day's. Hell Week as someone referred to it yesterday for me. 

[Sazerac]

Sometimes we make it harder than it is.  We were real spoiled brats as addicts.

I heard my addict voice whine and scream, then I got bored with that and took a baby step away.

The sooner you can switch up your thoughts to something positive, the easier it will get.

 

Nicotine is a powerful drug but, not as powerful as you.

 

You will not fail if you fully commit to NOPE.

Not One Puff Ever.

If you can't deal with the 'ever' part yet, commit to one day, one minute at a time.

 

You are a non smoker, Sandi. 

That is that.

Now, go have some primal screams if you need to !

[Paul723]

The craves can't hurt you.  They'll pass in a couple of minutes and come further and further apart.  I tried to quickly dismiss them.

[bakon]

Retraining the brain is best way. Don't dread or draw out the pain. Embrace it. Make it into the feeling of healing. Every pain or urge, the tingle in your fingers. Make that your body growing good clean cells and replacing the dead or grey ones. The headache is the adjustments. More than 1000 chemicals in each breath of smoke you put inside your lungs and blood... and your body adapted to live with them. Body is adjusting back and it needs time. Embrace the suk

[Doreensfree]

When I arrived at the forum..I heard a slogan ,that really sunk in..and is still planted in my brain...

Smoking is not on the table ever no matter what...

I used to shout this out loud as many times as I needed in that day...it worked...for me...

And...having a pillow that I punched the h**l out of ..

Stay with it..?the magic will happen..

[...]

Sandi, you are doing so awesome amazing. Keep going. It does get better.

 

Have you ever read what is ACTUALLY in a cigarette ?

 

Now have you ever sat down to eat a bowl of formaldehyde ? Or drank a glass of ammonia ? Or sniffed some arsenic ? No. You havent' and your logic for not doing it is REAL. Cause you know that it will 1. Give you cancer. 2. Make you sick as a dog. 3. Kill you. Well, smoking it does the same exact thing.

 

Is that next cigarette worth your life ?

 

No ma'am, it's not. You have a beautiful life.

 

You are doing awesome. Keep going. You have made it over half way through hell week. And you NEVER have to go through it again.

 

Like Bakon said..... Embrace every feeling, every tear, every ounce of suckiness about this. Cause truth be told, every bit of it is you healing.

[Boo]

The mental fog and emotional roller coaster experienced in those initial days of a quit are uncomfortable.  It helped me to shift focus to the fact that the withdrawal symptoms and everything that comes with them is not a result of the quit, but rather caused by smoking.  Quitting is a challenge, but pays huge dividends.  Smoking only promises a continuation of withdrawal and negative returns.

 

Everything experienced during "hell week" is temporary.  The newfound freedom gained in the process is permanent.  Stay the course and the rewards will present themselves exponentially.  

[Sazerac]

Joel and Day Five of your quit on Tuesday !  

[Runfree]

....Tear's because I know..... how important this is...

 

It's intense.  Dig.  

 

At first you have to dig.  Then you deflect the twinges and triggers.  Then you sly smile and nod cuz you know you made it.  One phase at at time.

 

You have the right mindset.  I can tell.  

[sgt.barney]

> The craving's are real!

> The pain is real!

> The mind-******* of 'just one' is REAL.

 

 

 

 

>do not want any sugar-coated BS about

>'how easy it is'

 

It is as easy or as hard as you want to make it. You are in complete control.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Sazerac]

How are you doing, Sandi ?

[SandiW]

Hello Sazerac,

 

How am I doing?......hmmmm. Well I am happy inside that I can say I have not put one toxic cigarette into my mouth since Thursday the 13 October. 

I am still an addict. I still want to smoke {sometimes}. Then I get on here and read, read, and I read my book by Allan Carr. 

So, I guess I'm doing 'okay'. Not sure how an addict off of cigarettes is suppose to be doing on day 6!

 

I am just so very Thankful for all you awesome Non-smoker's! Sometimes I need that reality check, that kick in the ass. However, what worked for someone does not necessarily mean will work for another. {Tiffany, thanks for the post about a Teddy bear} etc. You know me personally, and know that I so cannot relate to that :D . So I am trying to figure out what IS working for me. And during the day I chew on a straw at my desk...LOL.

 

After work, I cook dinner for my husband and daughter and myself. Then I go for a walk {take the puppy}, that's where the biggest adjustment has had to come into play. Dinner= cigarette after. Now dinner= walk.

 

In the evening's I find I am more relaxed as I never really smoked after the dinner cigarette much {unless a phone call}, now I turn my phone off in the evening until I KNOW I can kick my drug addiction. I am not fooling myself, I still want 'just one', I'm still a junkie.  But I will say I am proud that I have not had that 'just one'.

 

S~

[Sazerac]

You are doing great, Sandi.

Hold on to your resolve and power through.

Six days is a big accomplishment and rewards are in order.

What ?  No teddy bears for you ?  :P

[Sazerac]

oops !  Sorry sorry sorry !

I didn't read the other teddy bear post.

Bad bear for me.

Here is your bear.

[Sazerac]

After reading your status update about 'still a junkie', 

I thought about this little video.

[SandiW]

How can some people say 'it wasn't difficult at all'? Did they use a Nicotine supplement? Or did they only smoke for a week? As compared to 20+ year's?

 

What I found difficult, was changing my daily routine, from the minute my feet hit the floor in the morning, until it was time for bed at night. But after day 4, the 'routine', is the new norm. 

 

I still find at times, I want a cigarette. I hope that will stop one day. Why do I want one? I honestly cannot answer.

[Sazerac]

Possibly,  some people can make short work of withdrawal because of a mindset.

Everybody feels 'something' it is just how deep we indulge the 'suck', I think.

You can't judge your experience in comparison to others, we are all so different.

This is what makes the QTrain so helpful, many voices with their individual experience,  all fighting the same addiction.

 

Using NRTs can help for some. To me it just looked like a prolonged torture but, for others it made the process do-able.

 

Why do you want one, Sandi ?

You want one because you are addicted !  You are beating an addiction !  You are an addict ! Nicotine is an addictive substance !

This should not come as a surprise.

 

You may have a year of seasonal triggers but, craves are usually an indication that your body needs something.

Learn about H.A.L.T.

Are you Hungry, Angry (Emotional), Lonesome (Bored), Tired.

[Evelyn]

It is always hard - but either you choose to play the mindgames with the junkie-thinking hun, or ignore it 'not important', then it gets a lot easier, as long as you believe you'r junkie thoughts you struggle that hard!!! You are one wonderful quit smoking quitter! I do not doubt you will succeed! You've been reading a while I think and you kick ass! It hurts, and for me my borderline symptoms where hidden beneath the smoke curtain; I do have more mood swings and although I do not have in fact borderline, it can seem like you've overwhelmed with emotions :)

[SandiW]

Sazerac this quote: You may have a year of seasonal triggers but, craves are usually an indication that your body needs something.

Learn about H.A.L.T.

Are you Hungry, Angry (Emotional), Lonesome (Bored), Tired.

 

And Evelyn: I do not have in fact borderline, it can seem like you've overwhelmed with emotions  :)

 

I have read about H.A.L.T. and I do not know what 'seasonal triggers' are, because, well, this is the first time I have quit smoking. However, today being ANOTHER court date with the most brutal of litigation regarding guardianship of my mother...of course makes me think a cigarette will 'help me make it through the day'. Ummm, NOPE. 

 

Evelyn, I am overwhelmed with emotions. But {only guessing} because sometimes I have the physical withdraw {light headedness/dizzy/ tingling in finger tips}, I get so damn mad at myself. Really, I am my own worst enemy. I don't need to read how 'easy' it was for people to stop smoking. Nothing we do in life is 'easy', not one F'ng  thing. We work hard to succeed in our career's/ marriages. We worked just as hard to get outside to smoke, or leave an event just to smoke. So it is NOT easy! Uggggg.  :angry:  :angry:  :angry:

 

I saw cigarette butts on the ground this morning, and told myself "how many of those could be your's now if you want to smoke? All that money on the ground". 

 

I am protecting this quit like Sazerac and Tiffany and so many other's keep encouraging me to do. Even without a teddy bear. I need a voodoo doll so I can poke the SH*T out of it when I want to smoke. 

[...]

Sandi,

 

It has NEVER been easy for me. I have quit a trillion times in the last 4 years. The longest I made was one month but for the most part, it was from a couple of hours to a week. The first few times I quit, I would freak the hell out. But I'm a high strung person that analyzes the shit out of everything. I have tried quit smoking replacements, cold turkey, cutting down (that one was a joke). And I can honestly say all of them SUCKED BALLS !!!! There have been times I would "quit" and then disappear for months. I think this last time...it's been close to, if not at, a year. I just ended up accepting the fact that I was going to die smoking. We all have to die of something, right ?

 

So the one thing that remained constant is.... I would give up and smoke. And then when I did quit again....I would have to go through it all over again.

 

It does suck. But if you only do it once.....then you won't ever have to do it again. Or you could be like me, going 4 years smoking and then wishing you had just gone through it all 4 years ago and knowing that today....you would be free of all of it.

 

It's not easy. But it is simple. All it simply takes.... Is not smoking.

 

The thoughts of it will go away. The emotions will calm down. The desire will dissipate.

 

You just have to trust and believe. Neither you or I are any different than those that have quit before us. We will, one day very soon, have the same comfort as them.

[Sazerac]

So sorry you are going through such calamity for your Mother.

stars in your crown, Sandi.  What a heartbreaking scenario.  :(

 

Here is a great post from Cristobal, our 4 year friend.

You---->Your Quit--->Your Life.

 

Seasonal Triggers by our friend, Joel

Fall

Spring

Summer

can't find Winter but, you get the gist.

 

You are doing so well. 

[SandiW]

More great read's...... it IS empowering to read what other's, AFTER their inital quit, can write about. One day I may write something that will be 'profound' for someone who is beginning life again, a clean life, free of addiction 

 

Right now, today, I just want to embrace my quit {pissed as I am} LOL. Tell the court and attorney's to F* themselves, let''s be done with this. And then, reward myself with retail therapy this weekend. {Only for the amount of money that I would usually spend on Sunday afternoon purchasing my cartoon of toxic crap for the week}. 

[SandiW]

Sandi,

 

It has NEVER been easy for me. I have quit a trillion times in the last 4 years. The longest I made was one month but for the most part, it was from a couple of hours to a week. The first few times I quit, I would freak the hell out. But I'm a high strung person that analyzes the shit out of everything. I have tried quit smoking replacements, cold turkey, cutting down (that one was a joke). And I can honestly say all of them SUCKED BALLS !!!! There have been times I would "quit" and then disappear for months. I think this last time...it's been close to, if not at, a year. I just ended up accepting the fact that I was going to die smoking. We all have to die of something, right ?

 

So the one thing that remained constant is.... I would give up and smoke. And then when I did quit again....I would have to go through it all over again.

 

It does suck. But if you only do it once.....then you won't ever have to do it again. Or you could be like me, going 4 years smoking and then wishing you had just gone through it all 4 years ago and knowing that today....you would be free of all of it.

 

It's not easy. But it is simple. All it simply takes.... Is not smoking.

 

The thoughts of it will go away. The emotions will calm down. The desire will dissipate.

 

You just have to trust and believe. Neither you or I are any different than those that have quit before us. We will, one day very soon, have the same comfort as them.

Thank you Tiffany for being honest!! 

You are so right........no, I don't want to go a week, a month, a freaking year, just to start the quit again. Screw that. 

The big test is going to be this weekend. Our friend is coming in tonight and I am vacillating on whether or not I want to go out and meet everyone. I am not that comfortable yet to be around the smoker's. What about you?

And all of you? How long before you actually were comfortable with your quit to be around a friend or friends who are life-long smoker's? 

[sgt.barney]

How can some people say 'it wasn't difficult at all'?

Difficult is mostly imaginary. In the mind. Thoughts easily brushed aside in the face of bigger, more legit issues.

 

It really is mind over matter.

 

If you don't mind ... it don't matter.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Doreensfree]

Hi Sandi..

I was a 52 year smoker..my life long friend is still a smoker..

This quit was my last chance..so had to decide never stick anything in my mouth and set it on fire..

Or ..smoke with my friend and face the consequences..

I made the right decision to quit..and stuck to that..no matter what...

When I hear that hacking cough she has..I pity her ..not envy...