Throwing away a perfect quit

[Boo]

The quit is yours and yours alone.  Do what you need to do.  The thing about the mental fog is, it clears.  It always does.  The obsessive thoughts are a natural byproduct of a new quit.  The thing is, as you put more distance between yourself and smoking you will realize that smoking dominated your life far more than quitting did.  Quitting accumulates benefits and does nothing but get better in time.  Smoking keeps you on the same downward spiral and only produces deleterious effects as time passes.

 

You've already done over 10 days, one more is something you can do standing on your head.

[Doreensfree]

Boo is right sweetheart...

So what if you smoked today...you would be where you were before your quit..

Hating those dam things and wanting rid of them ..once and for all....

No pain ...no gain....

Your body has been used to chemicals getting pumped in to it for a long time...

It has to adjust...it has to figure it self out..and straighten itself out too..

Tell your junkie brain...you know why your feeling this way..and it will pass...

Ten days TIFF..be proud..be happy..your free....

[Doreensfree]

Tiff..

You have always disappeared on all your failed quits...

Why don't you stick around with this one...it just might be the difference between failure or success..

If nothing changes... Nothing changes...just sayin.....

[Sazerac]

Doreen is right, Tiff.

and I would add, 

Until you stop believing the lies of addiction and start to 'hear' them yourself for the lies they are, you are going to have a really hard slog.

You are both smart enough and strong enough to face reality. You are an addict,  just like we are.  We don't believe the lies anymore and neither must you.

 

I am reminded of an old poster LeachaR, who's signature had a quote from Rosa Luxemberg,

 

"Those Who Do Not Move, Do Not Notice Their Chains"

[sharonsiff]

Silly if you go Tiff, all that does is rinse and repeat other attempts..that failed.

 

If coming on her brings you down, because it reminds you (not that I imagine you need anything to remind you) that you're feeling off..then just keep saying I feel off today, not a great day. I had a horrid time, and as you know I was vaping..at least had that. Me and another bloke started a blog like thread where we checked in, every single day, with the highs/lows..and everything else. OMG you will never know how that stopped me just nipping out and buying cigs..I cried sometimes while checking in, pure frustration of how my body/mind felt.

 

It saved me if I'm honest..it's was like a Bridget Jones type diary..helped others too, lots joined in. I could just imagine a Tiffany Jones type diary...wink.

[...]

Tiff..

You have always disappeared on all your failed quits...

Why don't you stick around with this one...it just might be the difference between failure or success..

If nothing changes... Nothing changes...just sayin.....

 

Doreen, you are so right.  I think about that too.  

 

I'm not leaving.  I just need to take a break sometimes.  I am still smoke free and have every intention staying that way.  

 

Onto day 11 !!!!

[Paul723]

You are healing, let it happen.

[...]

So last night, I decided to watch Joel videos. MQ posted a butt load of them and I just went down the list. And then went to bed. No biggie.

 

Woke up this morning, got mad at my son cause he's lost his shirt....again. And started looking for my cigarettes. Must have looked silly looking for those things. And when I realized I didn't have any.....cause I don't smoke anymore, all the sudden all hell broke loose in my head.

 

So here I am again. Posting again sounding like some whiney ass biatch.

 

Today, I am thinking smoking does something for me. Not sure what that is.....but for whatever God forsaken reason, I do.

 

Trying to get away from the cigarette world and doesn't seem like that's gonna happen for a while

 

I'm not gonna smoke.

[Doreensfree]

All normal...

The brain just needs tweeking..I'm a non smoker...

I had to train myself to do everything without a smoke...I didn't even know how to be a adult ,without my fix..

Oh I was in a mess..

But...

I didn't smoke..and now I do all those things with a thought of them...

You just need time...how much time ?...but it doesn't matter...

[sharonsiff]

So last night, I decided to watch Joel videos. MQ posted a butt load of them and I just went down the list. And then went to bed. No biggie.

Woke up this morning, got mad at my son cause he's lost his shirt....again. And started looking for my cigarettes. Must have looked silly looking for those things. And when I realized I didn't have any.....cause I don't smoke anymore, all the sudden all hell broke loose in my head.

So here I am again. Posting again sounding like some whiney ass biatch.

Today, I am thinking smoking does something for me. Not sure what that is.....but for whatever God forsaken reason, I do.

Trying to get away from the cigarette world and doesn't seem like that's gonna happen for a while

I'm not gonna smoke.

First off you're not some Whitney ass bitch.

 

Smoking does do something....stops the craving...for about twenty mins, maybe forty if you're lucky. Mind you know that. You're body/mind will be like this a while, part of the process, you've really just got to trust that it does stop...it just does, no warning it's just you remember you've not craved or reach for one.

 

It's crappy, well I thought it was, just totally pants! Yet, and I know I can say this only because I'm on the other side now, I'm glad I did it no matter how horrid I found it. Takes time...no quick fix (unfortunately) so just check in, each day, update us on how things are that day...you're really not alone. One day..in time...you really honestly will feel like you can't even imagine you smoked in the first place..trust me, you will. We now you might see folk, on tv reaching for one..and mentally drooling...you'll one day look and think yuck..oh my goodness, I did that...you honestly just see the whole sorry thing for what it is. As I say...time..and let's face it you've got all the time in the world, worth every minute for that mental moment of freedom. I'm sticking with reading your updates...so keep posting.

[Sazerac]

Today, I am thinking smoking does something for me. Not sure what that is.....but for whatever God forsaken reason, I do.

 

 

 

Sure, smoking does a lot for you, it does a whole helluva lot For You and To You.

 

It keeps you enslaved in addiction,  broke,  ugly,  smelly,  stressed out,  obsessed with smoking.

 

It keeps you at high risk to Stroke out and for all of the Cancers.

 

Smoking contributes to a wide variety of illnesses such as;

Type 2 Diabetes, Macular Degeneration (blindness), Osteoporosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Emphysema, C.O.P.D. and  Heart Disease.

(to name a FEW)

 

It keeps you from quickly fighting off infections.

It rots your gums,  gives you facial wrinkles, clouds your eyes,  grays your skin,  and ruins your voice.

 

Yep.  Smoking does a lot for you. That is the Truth.

 

What else is smoking doing for you ?

 

Oh, wait !  It gangsters your brain's pleasure and reward centers.

It robs you of self confidence and inner peace.

[Runfree]

I hear ya on the abundance of internal anxiousness.  Everyone, everything had the potential to piss me off.  There were a couple folks on here that I had to block because I couldn't deal with them.  I'd get angry every time I logged on which kind of defeated the purposed of a support forum. (bakon and nancy helped talk me off the ledge a few times, ha)

 

For close to a month, I managed to singe every person in my line of sight; I didn't mean to but patience was limited and my tongue was sharp.  Wanting normal is normal.  We go from highly capable women to thinking and acting like a snitty 14 year old girl in the locker room (God forgive us).  It helped immensely to recognize and shut down that self-producing/self-imposed drama in. it's. tracks!  I think that move was my saving grace.  Engaging only escalates and it's not worth the anxiety cuz you're not going to smoke anyway.  That said, it's ok to be a bit pissy, kicking addiction is consuming..at least for a little while.  The uglies are only temporary 

 

I'm glad to read you're still keeping close to the board.  I'm glad to read you're not going to smoke anyway.  

[Doreensfree]

Loved this post sweetheart..good and honest..and a reminder we are not special snowflakes..

We have been where the newbies are today..

It was a good reminder for me..x

[...]

Edit

[sharonsiff]

Tiff you have just got to stop those thoughts in their tracks really, simple as that. Entertaining the thought that it's a possibility to make a purchase is dangerous. How do you stop the thoughts...million dollar question.

 

I remember it's doesn't feel so simple, when the huge urge to just sod it, and do it comes. Go and make a purchase and you're back to square one, just silly, so find yourself something to distract yourself. If you're extremely angry then do something fast and furious, get the aggression out if that's how it's starting to feel.

 

It sucks, of course it does, but you'll only ever have to do this once.

 

Get busy, find something to do....you only have to get through today, which you are capable of, then it's another day done.

 

Stop even allowing yourself to consider making a purchase. Sarge gave you a stripe the other day I noticed...get through today and you're a day nearer to your next one.

 

Scream if you have to, cry even...who cares! Do whatever you need to do.

[Doreensfree]

You have to ride this out TIFF..its the only way..fight it...

You know dam well..if you smoke you will hate it...

You don't want to be a smoker...fight this monster..go punch a pillow...it works...

Stay close here..

[Sazerac]

Tiffany.

Don't be ridiculous.  Why would you want to re-ignite a deadly addiction ?

In a moment, it will pass, you win.

Unless you indulge the addiction, then it is all over.  You lose.

You edited your post out and I am trying to take that as a good sign,

a sign you no longer believe the addict.

Where y'at ?

[...]

I'm still here.  

 

I edited it cause I shouldn't have even posted it.  It's stupid to even be feeling like this.  I know what to do, I know what you're gonna say.  I need to do this on my own and quit relying on anyone to pull me out of it.  

 

Something was said to me a few days ago that is wreaking havoc on my thinking.  I will get past it.  

 

I'm not going to smoke.  Right now, i keep remembering all the times I gave up and how I hated it.  That is the strongest feeling I have to NOT giving in.  Even when my drive to continue is down, that memory is what is keeping me going at this time. 

 

I'm sorry I posted in this thread.  I just panicked.  

[Sazerac]

Oh, Tiff.

You should not feel bad for posting here or for leaning on your pals.

You know how good it feels when you can help somebody.

Don't deny others that affirmation.

 

I hope you are powering through.

Distracting yourself.

We have all been through this struggle.

Some have it easier but, it is still something to come to grips with and not a walk in the park.

[sharonsiff]

Tiff for goodness sake don't feel bad that you posted.

 

Hell I would have had a news real, on our local tv news, if I could just to express the sheer anger and frustration I was feeling. Not stupid at all, just unfortunately part of the course for some of us. Does that mean some people are more addicted than others? No. Yet there is no question that the other crap, apart from nicotine, does affect some more than others. Research those who have thyroid problems and Inflammatory bowel Disease and stopped smoking if you don't believe me. Some powerful s##t in cigs and I'm not even talking about nicotine because as you know I was still using nicotine via vaping.

 

So think on...not silly at all.

 

The beauty of all this is if you actually do it, which you are currently doing, you only ever have to do this once. The journey can be ugly, at times, however you just reach destination if you keep doing what you're doing. If that means now and again you reach out who the hell cares! Doesn't mean that you weak, or silly, just means the powerful s##t, in cigs, is screaming for a top up.

 

You're keeping it real Tiff so I've no doubt that this really will be the quit, keep doing what you are doing and if that means you sometimes need to reach out...reach the hell out.

[Evelyn]

Do NOT feel bad for posting post as many times, rather then lighting a cancerstick, ok, capiche? Hey, I'm one of the oldies and I just have 1 month and a week on my counter... I did SOS too remember? I felt stupid too, but rather feel stupid then BE stupid because you did something stupid like lightin' one ;)

You girl, don't realise it; but you are tough!!! You fell a lot of times of the QT, like me but you know with tough cookies-- they are tough and once they've got something in their head- they do it- the right way!

You girl, are like that!

What did someone said that made you feel like that? Do not be ashamed to even SOS after 3 months or 6 or 9, remember ArmnedNAruba he SOS'ed a few days before one year NOW he's quit 3 years; Anniverseries also can trigger a feeling 'oh, will i fail? of will i never EVER smoke? Or fear of succes / failure. I had that; fear of succes. Don't be frightenend, we are all here :)

[jimmy]

dear tiffany. hang in there young lady. your friends here love you very much, and want you to stick it out . lean on us cuss us get mad at us what ever it takes. you can do this. you helped me so much when I first quit. now its my turn to help you call me if you have to you have my number. if not let me know I have yours. you tuffer than you think  nicotine is not your friend we are .  pm me on facebook . ill be there to help as much as I can.   I know im a goff ball but I do care and love ya.  and want  you to  win this battle ,

love jimmy