Throwing away a perfect quit

[...]

Im wanting to smoke. It's right there....in my head.

 

You can go back to a normal life.....just buy one pack. Next quit, you can do it.

 

I'm sorry. I have to verbalize this or I will smoke.

 

If I address it head on, then I won't.

 

I'm not even having a bad day. Just want a cigarette. Something that has nothing, NOTHING, to offer me.

 

It's stupid. Stupid for me to be thinking like this.

 

I feel like I'm missing something.

[MarylandQuitter]

Tiffany, you're still early in your quit and you still want to smoke.  It's normal as smoking was part of everything you did every single day.  Your life revolved around your smoking.  You're right; it's in your head and you have a choice.  Only you can make that choice, despite being uncomfortable and choosing to stay nicotine free.  You can do this.  The rewards are much greater than the discomfort of the desire to smoke right now.  :)

[Nancy]

Yes, you are missing something....you are missing being an addict who has to have a fix to feel normal.  How many "next quits" do you want to live through?  Just keep this one and let's get it done!

[beacon]

I remember wanting to smoke every minute of the day in the beginning and fighting off the craves over and over.  Don't give in to the addiction.  Distract yourself anyway you can and get through another hour until the day is over.  How about some lunch or some tea?  Are you at work?  Can you walk around and talk to someone to distract yourself?

[beacon]

Ps.  How about adding a photo of something to your picture here?

[Sazerac]

you are not stupid for feeling anything, Tiffany.

You are fighting the very serious addiction to nicotine, like we all did.

Hold your resolve, it does get better.

Right now you are in the throes of the biggest mind fcuk I know, it is addiction.

This feeling will pass.

Go scream it out somewhere.

Breathe breathe breathe.

You have no reason to give up on your quit.  

[...]

I just walked into a store and had no urge to buy cigarettes.

 

Maybe I don't want to smoke as much as I think I do.

 

I don't know what I'm doing.

 

I don't want to smoke. I want the relief it provides.

[...]

Ps.  How about adding a photo of something to your picture here?

Ha ha.... Will do later

[Soberjulie]

This is just a day. Just a day in your quit that doesn't feel so great.

Not all days will feel this way.

 

Don't pick up and eventually you won't even count days anymore.

[beacon]

I'm glad you didn't buy any!  Don't you think that each tiny NO that you tell the addiction adds to your strength and resolve? 

[Sazerac]

Soon you will once again know what real relief feels like.  It is a great relief ! :)

 

You know too much now to go back to slavery.  gnaw your chains away.  remember things change, you won't feel bad always.

[...]

This is just a day. Just a day in your quit that doesn't feel so great.

Not all days will feel this way.

Don't pick up and eventually you won't even count days anymore.

Yes. This has to go away. Eventually.

 

It can't last forever.

[Sazerac]

How are you now ?

[Evelyn]

Please don't smoke - it won't help. I know.... I knw it won't. 

[Aine]

If I could smoke one cigarette, one pack, one carton. . .sigh.

 

There is never "enough" for me. One leads to 4 packs a day, just like before I quit. (or worse, if that is even possible). I'm pretty sure that first hit would taste pretty good. But, by the end of the first cigarette, my mouth is filled with that burning paper taste and I quickly will get the hacking cough back. Then, I won't be able to do the things I do now. I went to Ireland in May. I never could before because of the time spent on the plane without smoking (11 hours.). And, the money for the trip came from the money I saved from not smoking.

 

Just now, don't smoke. It adds up, and one day, you will find yourself surprised because you hadn't been thinking about smoking at all! (When that happens is different for everyone, but it DOES happen.)

[...]

Thanks y'all.

 

I'm thinking I'm just feeling very anxious. I need to learn how to relax without smoking. I, literally, do not know how to do that.

 

I'm on edge.

 

And it's not that I actually want to smoke. Again, I'm not sure what I'm wanting.

[Sazerac]

You may be in a weird sort of Limbo while you surface to freedom.  Protect your quit

and give yourself time.  You will learn how to live without smoking very quickly.

 

watch a gnarly movie

Death In The West

[Doreensfree]

Aww TIFF..I remember my body went berserk..my head was exploding with all the thoughts..

I screamed ..I shouted..I punched my pillow..all the time repeating ..

No matter what is happening ..smoking is not on the table...

Then a miracle happened..it got better ..it hurt less..

There was no going back for me...don't wait until then..

[Boo]

One of the best pieces of advice I picked up early in this quit was something Joel Spitzer said in one of his videos: "don't tell yourself you don't want a cigarette, because you do."  It's not stupid to want a cigarette.  We're addicts so of course we want our drug of choice.  The whole process would be a helluva lot easier if when we quit, the desire went away.  Unfortunately, that's not how addiction works.

 

All I really know is what worked for me.  I stopped fighting it.  Ceased all resistance to those irrational, lizard brain thoughts that popped into my head.  When the thoughts of wanting a cigarette sprung up, I just let them happen.  Stepped back from myself a bit and observed what was going on in my head.  I let them run their course and then dismissed them as the irrational ramblings of an addict.  Then...I just moved on with my life.

 

When the confidence of knowing that the power is in your hands and the decision to never smoke again cannot be altered by any random thought sets in, the pieces of this quitting puzzle fall right into place.

[...]

One of the best pieces of advice I picked up early in this quit was something Joel Spitzer said in one of his videos: "don't tell yourself you don't want a cigarette, because you do."  It's not stupid to want a cigarette.  We're addicts so of course we want our drug of choice.  The whole process would be a helluva lot easier if when we quit, the desire went away.  Unfortunately, that's not how addiction works.

 

All I really know is what worked for me.  I stopped fighting it.  Ceased all resistance to those irrational, lizard brain thoughts that popped into my head.  When the thoughts of wanting a cigarette sprung up, I just let them happen.  Stepped back from myself a bit and observed what was going on in my head.  I let them run their course and then dismissed them as the irrational ramblings of an addict.  Then...I just moved on with my life.

 

When the confidence of knowing that the power is in your hands and the decision to never smoke again cannot be altered by any random thought sets in, the pieces of this quitting puzzle fall right into place.

I LOVE THIS !!!!

 

I don't know what happened this morning. All I knew was that I was close to buying a pack of cigarettes. And yet, I didn't want to. But then I did.

 

Went into a store to pay for gas and didn't even drool over the cigarettes sitting there. Didn't even phase me.

 

I don't know how to explain it. It was like I felt like I HAD to smoke but didn't want to smoke.

 

I'm better now. Still feeling a little restless but now it's like I drank some coffee (something I never drink).

 

I'm not going back to smoking. I've come this far.....I'm not going back. For today. Today is all I am doing right now.

 

Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble...... Again.

[Boo]

I LOVE THIS !!!!

 

I don't know what happened this morning. All I knew was that I was close to buying a pack of cigarettes. And yet, I didn't want to. But then I did.

 

Went into a store to pay for gas and didn't even drool over the cigarettes sitting there. Didn't even phase me.

 

I don't know how to explain it. It was like I felt like I HAD to smoke but didn't want to smoke.

 

I'm better now. Still feeling a little restless but now it's like I drank some coffee (something I never drink).

 

I'm not going back to smoking. I've come this far.....I'm not going back. For today. Today is all I am doing right now.

 

Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble...... Again.

 

And there it is.  Those eureka moments during a quit are wonderful things.  You hang tough during the rough spots and eventually something clicks.  After that, you're pretty much just cruising down easy street.

 

I'm happy that this happened for you Tiffany.  Congratulations.

[Sazerac]

Your brain is making new connections with every crave you beat.

This will happen fast even though some hours seem to be brutally long.

The more you can reward yourself especially during and after these episodes, the better.

It re-trains your brain to know what real rewards are all about,

 

So proud of you, Tiff, for not only posting SOS but, facing down your addiction.

One Day, One moment at a time.

 

S 

[sgt.barney]

It can't last forever.

 

 

 

It doesn't.

 

Unless you smoke... and then it keeps going ... forever.

 

Don't smoke ... and it goes away.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[...]

I'm backing out of here for a little bit.  

 

I do not like this one bit.  I feel trapped.  I don't want to smoke but I don't like who I am right now.  

 

I need my life back without focusing on smoking or not smoking.

 

I am angry.  I don't like feeling like this.  I don't like not having some sense of control over here and half the time, I want to either scream or cry.  I am hollering at my child.  I'm spacing out at work.  I do feel good about quitting but God bless, does it really have to be like THIS ????  

 

I need to focus.  I need to figure out why I can't stop an action and be ok with it.  

 

I live by the motto.... life is short.  Enjoy EVERY freaking day cause you really never know when your last day is.  

 

Maybe it's junkie thinking.... maybe it isn't.  But whatever it is..... I want my life back.  I don't want my world revolving around this.  I feel VERY DISCONNECTED.  
 

I want to just ******* cry.  And I can't.  

 

I will check in EVERY night and let y'all know I havent' smoked.  

 

I really do appreciate all y'alls help.  I needed it.  Now I need to apply it.  

[Sazerac]

Please stay with us.

Protect your quit.

This crazy is nearly over !

Don't despair.

Your old life is gone.  Your new life is just beginning.

You will get through this.

It is only addiction.  It is not who you are.

Get some sleep,

tomorrow is a new day.