I'm coming back.....

[Doreensfree]

Here..here...well said...all you have to do is EV and TIFF..believe it...

Your lives ...are so important..

[Tyme2B]

Tiff, the one & only time I tried to quit seriously, I was not even thinking of smoking anymore at 4 months. . Why did I relapse after 6 months? My Doc had to change my antidepressant which meant weaning off the one I was on. My trigger has always been anxiety and/or depression. That Nicotine Monster wanted me to think inhaling poisonous gases into my lungs helped me cope. Hope you are feeling better. I too had to get away from thinking about smoking during my success time....I needed to feel "normal". I needed to NOT think about being a Smoker. But after my relapse I came back....the support here is awesome. And it works. Life happens. If you can live without smoking, still check in on occasion. We care. Normally every day posts for a year are recommended. But I too just want to live as a non smoker....I do check in tho as there are people here who look for us every day and who truly care. I understand.

[Tyme2B]

Feel better!

[...]

So today was going ok..... and then for some reason, tonight has been hell.  I am not questioning if I want to smoke.  It's almost like I know I'm gonna do it.  Not really craves but more like...... accepting the fact that I am going to smoke.  I don't know how to explain it but it is really making tonight hard.

 

It's like I wanna give up.  And it's taking everything in me to not go to the store and buy a pack.  

 

I don't get it.  I was doing so good.  

[MarylandQuitter]

So today was going ok..... and then for some reason, tonight has been hell.  I am not questioning if I want to smoke.  It's almost like I know I'm gonna do it.  Not really craves but more like...... accepting the fact that I am going to smoke.  I don't know how to explain it but it is really making tonight hard.

 

It's like I wanna give up.  And it's taking everything in me to not go to the store and buy a pack.  

 

I don't get it.  I was doing so good.  

 

I get it crystal clear; it's junkie thinking, Tiffany.  You've given yourself permission to relapse and have already thrown in the towel.  You must make a commitment to yourself to never take another puff, take it seriously, actually mean it and actually NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF. 

 

Be uncomfortable, accept it and make it your normal for now.  If you don't like that, too bad.  Take a stand and stick to it.  The problem that you've always had that always leads to your relapses is that you think you're giving something up by quitting smoking.  You say your brain can't wrap itself around this concept and I say, so what?  You don't have control over your thoughts but you DO HAVE CONTROL over how you act on them.  You have a choice and your nicotine addiction is not stronger than mine.  The difference is that I outsmarted mine and have remained smoke-free.  You're not stronger than the addiction but you need to outsmart the thing in order to stop the constant struggle and cycle of relapse/short intervals of quitting and so on.

 

Please let us know this morning what happened.  :)

 

I Gave Up Smoking

Video discusses how attitude can play a major role on how easy or hard quitting and staying fee can be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSe3iH-N2LU&index=34&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB

 

The Lucky Ones Get Hooked

Video discusses how not all people who take a cigarette after quitting instantly get hooked--only the lucky ones do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8XvSiHmlQ8&index=2&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB

[Doreensfree]

Tiff..this is your nico monster ,tapping your shoulder.. HEY REMEMBER ME...

The ONLY way to shut it up ..is to fight ...it gets weaker every fight you win...

You have been here..so many times...take a stand...

Smoking is not on the table...no matter what.....

[sharonsiff]

You'd be crazy to smoke, find something else to do and crack on with that.

 

At least you are airing your thought process here, I don't think for one minute you will purchase some as I don't think you're silly enough. You strike me as a smart cookie..stay smart..get busy and do something to keep you busy.

[sgt.barney]

So today was going ok..... and then for some reason, tonight has been hell.  I am not questioning if I want to smoke.  It's almost like I know I'm gonna do it.  Not really craves but more like...... accepting the fact that I am going to smoke.  I don't know how to explain it but it is really making tonight hard.

 

It's like I wanna give up.  And it's taking everything in me to not go to the store and buy a pack.  

 

I don't get it.  I was doing so good.

 

You don't get it because you are still suffering under the delusion that you are not an addict.

 

When you know that you are an addict, you know why this shit happens. It's baked right into the definition of being an addict.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[El Bandito]

Hey Tiff

 

Hope you got through it.

 

Sometimes I see someone having a smoke, or a place triggers a thought..."mmm...wouldn't a cigarette be good now?"

 

No. It wouldn't.

 

I don't smoke anymore. It's a decision I made.  

 

It really is no harder than that Tiff.

[Paul723]

Twelve pages of good advice for you Tiffany.

[ChRiSpY]

Do you enjoy failure?

[Sazerac]

hey, bebe, where y'at ?

 

every time you are missing...brings concern to a lot of people, you needn't be so careless about this.

either you want to be clean or you don't.

 

this is my first time having contact with you

but, I have read some of your history here.

quit fcuking around, beautiful one.

 

just stop.

 

either you want to be clean or you don't.

[...]

I get it crystal clear; it's junkie thinking, Tiffany.  You've given yourself permission to relapse

That is EXACTLY what I was doing.  I recognized it for what it was.  However, I was disappointed that I was feeling that way.  We only do what we give our selves authority to do.

 

 

Hey Tiff

 

Hope you got through it.

 

Sometimes I see someone having a smoke, or a place triggers a thought..."mmm...wouldn't a cigarette be good now?"

 

I did. Thank you.  I went to see a movie with my son.  The thing is I want to live my life without EVER thinking how good it would be to have one.  I don't want to live feeling like I can't do something.  I am determined to get there.  I just don't know how yet so it's kinda like feeling your way around in the dark.  The act of smoking is not just smoking.  It's so much more than that.  I'm just trying to figure out how to get to that other side peacefully.

 

Twelve pages of good advice for you Tiffany.

 

Yes sir, it is.  Thank you for that.  I need to read it more often........ 

 

Do you enjoy failure?

 

Not sure how to take this question.  I'm hoping I'm taking it wrong.  

 

hey, bebe, where y'at ?

 

every time you are missing...brings concern to a lot of people, you needn't be so careless about this.

either you want to be clean or you don't.

 

this is my first time having contact with you

but, I have read some of your history here.

quit fcuking around, beautiful one.

 

just stop.

 

either you want to be clean or you don't.

 

I'm here. And I'm still quit.  I will be 2 months in 2 days.  I'm not going back to smoking EVER.  I feel so much better.  And quite frankly, it stinks to high heaven.

 

I'm sorry that I go "missing."  I don't mean to.  

 

I'm actually having really good days now.   I still think about smoking at various times.  But that night was really hard on me.  However, it wasn't a crave.  It was an acceptance.   It's hard to explain.  A mental badgering of sorts.  I was really disappointed in myself for feeling like that.  Sometimes, I feel like Billy Badass and think I can conquer this with my fists in the air.  And then other times, I feel so weak.  It's those weak moments that I don't know how to handle.  So I internalize it. Hence the disappearance.  Being on here for whatever reason, reminds me of how weak I am at those times.  

 

But today and the last few days have been GREAT !!!!  I even applied for a new position at work.  Scary scary move.  It will require me relocating to a different office.  I have been at this same office for 25 years.  But it's a pay raise and I will only be working 3 days a week instead of 5. 

[Doreensfree]

Well-done TIFF..it's good to hear your still smoke free...and well done in the job front too..

Your still very early in your quit.. So being up and down is normal..

That's why we say post here often..it keeps you focused...

Your still on that road to Rome..

[Sazerac]

This is cheering news, Tiff.

Congratulations.

I will stop worrying.  :)

[El Bandito]

Good stuff Tiff.

 

I am weak. I know it - that was why I knew that I had to make a decision. If I continued to wait for a magical day when my addiction would suddenly disappear from the past, present or future - I knew that I risked caving. So - I just decided 'smoking is not an option.'

 

It's not that I can't - it's easier than that. 

 

I decided that I won't.

 

Don't wait for some magical feeling, thunderbolt or Unicorn fart Tiff. 

 

You've done it. Big fat smile!

 

Fingers crossed for the raise!

[sgt.barney]

To be fair: Unicorn Farts help. A lot.

 

You just can't count on 'em coming 'round every time you need one.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

Smell the rainbow

[El Bandito]

Unicorns are not what they used to be.

 

When I was a lad....

[...]

Guess what today is ?!?!  

 

2 months for ME !!!!!  

 

I feel so freaking good.  I can't believe I have made it 2 WHOLE ENTIRE MONTHS !!!!  

 

And to those that supported me this time, I cannot thank you enough.  I could NEVER EVER EVER have done this without you.   

[Sazerac]

Guess what today is ?!?!  

 

2 months for ME !!!!!  

 

I feel so freaking good.  I can't believe I have made it 2 WHOLE ENTIRE MONTHS !!!!  

 

And to those that supported me this time, I cannot thank you enough.  I could NEVER EVER EVER have done this without you.   

 

Don't miss your celebratory thread, Tiff.  HERE

[sharonsiff]

So chuffed for you Tiffany, fabulous news.

 

I suspect you are at the mental point now that you've got to this point so forever is quite reasonable now. This really is it...you've only gone and done it...made up for you.

[bakon]

Work three instead of five is a no brainer

[Runfree]

2 months for ME !!!!!  

 

I feel so freaking good. 

 

:D  Love seeing this!

[...]

Don't miss your celebratory thread, Tiff.  HERE

 

Thank you !!!  I didn't see it.  But I usually log on and read for a little and then log off.  I'm not a searcher..... lol  

[...]

Just checking in.....

 

still here and still quit.  

 

Although I have had a rough last 3 days and several times thought about smoking.  More so that I have for a little while. 

 

My son blew up his freaking truck.  Stress all the way around.  

 

I kept thinking of Allen Carr's thing about a flat tire.  It's really good that I heard that cause not sure I would have made it without that comparison.  

 

Doing great !!!  Just staying busier than a mosquito in a nudist colony.   Hope all is well with you all.