I'm coming back.....

[El Bandito]

Hey Tiff

 

Whether you declare yourself an addict or not, the choice remains. Everyone of us can reach for a cigarette and light it.

 

We choose not to.

 

Are we addicts? Well, yes. but that is not limiting - it is simply an acknowledgement.

 

Am I better or worse than someone who never smoked? Nope.

 

There are plenty of better things to focus on - I'd work on those.

 

You are doing great, however you are doing it.

[...]

Your denial about addiction astounds me, Tiffany. 

Perhaps you are that one in a kazillion that can hold tight to their denial about addiction and have a successful quit.

I think I am being misunderstood. I am not in denial about addiction. I understand that nicotine, in any form, is an addiction. I understand that I am addicted to it while in the acting of partaking in any form of nicotine. I also understand that I am fighting an addiction when I cease to engage in nicotine in any form. But to FOREVER state that I am an addict.......I don't believe that we have to limit ourselves to that title. Again, when do we acknowledge our CHOICE ? When the nicotine is out of your system, your chemical alterations have healed, then at that point..... To light up is a choice. Not because one is an addict. I don't understand why I have to conform to a title to succeed.

 

Enjoy that next cigarette, but when you do. remember what was said here.

Really Sarge ?

 

Ok, thanks. I will definitely do that. IF and WHEN I smoke.

 

Right now, I am CHOOSING not to smoke.

 

To everyone else, I didn't mean for this to happen. I am very sorry. I will continue to read and I will continue to do what I need to do to not smoke.

 

And thanks for the support.

[...]

Hey Tiff

 

Whether you declare yourself an addict or not, the choice remains. Everyone of us can reach for a cigarette and light it.

 

We choose not to.

 

Are we addicts? Well, yes. but that is not limiting - it is simply an acknowledgement.

 

Am I better or worse than someone who never smoked? Nope.

 

There are plenty of better things to focus on - I'd work on those.

 

You are doing great, however you are doing it.

Thank you Stu.

 

I honestly thought that the whole idea was to QUIT smoking. Something I really want to accomplish.

[sharonsiff]

Tiff I never labelled myself and addict, and never will.

 

I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm never going to smoke again because I honestly don't want to, not because I'm an addict watching my back, keeping my defences up. Doesn't even enter my mind to reach, or want a cigarette.

 

I was addicted to cigarettes, I changed that...went through what needs to be done...and am no longer addicted to anything.

 

You continue to do what is working for you. You may well have failed, in the past, but that was due to reaching for a cig. This time don't reach, as you've not been doing on difficult days, and one day it just won't even enter your mind to reach. I'll go as far as saying you won't even feel like you were ever a smoker.

[Sazerac]

I think I am being misunderstood. I am not in denial about addiction. I understand that nicotine, in any form, is an addiction. I understand that I am addicted to it while in the acting of partaking in any form of nicotine. I also understand that I am fighting an addiction when I cease to engage in nicotine in any form. But to FOREVER state that I am an addict.......

 

I am sorta kinda reassured to hear this statement about you and your addiction.

 

The Forever part only means that for the rest of your life, should you ever take a puff from a cigarette, the addiction is re-activated. You've seen the brain pictures.

 

That is why I consider myself an addict forever because the addiction doesn't go away, it is now in my DNA fgs.  But, I choose to not ignite it.

 

Soon, you won't be thinking about smoking/not smoking every day.

[Nancy]

Tiff, call yourself whatever you want...who cares?  Just don't smoke!

[ChRiSpY]

"One can not be an addict if they are not practicing the addiction.".... EEKS!!!.. .this could not be more false.  This is like step 1 in every addiction counselors book.  Man... denial sucks.  And the more hard headed you are... the harder it is going to be to quit.  I understand your struggle very much.  it is hard to accept that you have failing and to label yourself as an addict.  

 

I am not sure at all that it will mean your demise if you do not admit it...so I guess whatever.. just don't smoke anymore.

 

I like several others have watched you over the last 3 years... and Tiff.. what you have been doing is not working.  But maybe this time... hopefully.  Not smoking or being a slave to nicotine is amazing and worth all of the stuggles...two fold.

 

Keep on keepin on Tiff.

[MarylandQuitter]

Tiffany,

 

I am the exact definition of an addict.  When I was first faced with this by another, I was nearly appalled; that is until I realized it was true.  No amount of denial or rationalization was going to change that.  The same applies to you as you too are an addict.  Your drug of choice is nicotine and your delivery method remains one of the deadliest of all addictions.  But who wants to volley semantics back and forth for another 3.5 years?

 

The bottom line is that in order for you to remain quit, you MUST commit to never take another puff no matter what.  You've rationalized and have said quitting is too hard for a long time.  Try breathing with emphysema long before you hit your 60th birthday.  How will your son handle the untimely death of his mother because she said quitting was too hard?  It's uncomfortable at the beginning but not hard.  Get comfortable being uncomfortable, stop making excuses and commit to NOPE like the rest of us.  If it was that hard to quit, there wouldn't be more former smokers than there are smokers.  Think about that.  Is your addiction somehow special in that it's harder for you to quit than me or the millions of others who've kicked the habit?  Hardly.

 

Take it from those of us who have long quits under our belts.  We know all too well what it takes to succeed and also what you need to change to succeed.

[sgt.barney]

Really Sarge ?

 

 

Yes. Really.

 

Unless you fully embrace that you are and will always be an addict, you will fail.

 

You. Will. Fail.

 

You seem to be taking this as a personal attack.

 

Sarge assures you it is not.

 

But it will happen.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[...]

Yes. Really.

Unless you fully embrace that you are and will always be an addict, you will fail.

You. Will. Fail.

You seem to be taking this as a personal attack.

Sarge assures you it is not.

But it will happen.

Easy Peasy

It doesn't matter what I take it as. Personal or not is of no importance here.

 

You have backed me into a no win situation.

 

If I should have a hard time again, it's because I won't succumb to your ideals that I'm an addict. And therefore I am doomed. As evidenced by your extreme punctuation of "You Will Fail".

 

Or I can "claim" that I'm an addict.

 

Those are my options. Smoke or confess.

 

I won't do either. I will do what is best for me.

 

And that is not looking at a post that is going to tell me that I cannot do this.

 

I can. And I will.

 

On a "personal" level, should you be interested..... Yeah, that kinda hurt. But nothing I can't handle. I'm a big girl with my big girl panties.

 

You won.

[...]

I'm never going to smoke again because I honestly don't want to, not because I'm an addict watching my back, keeping my defences up. Doesn't even enter my mind to reach, or want a cigarette.

I was addicted to cigarettes, I changed that...went through what needs to be done...and am no longer addicted to anything.

^^^^^. THIS ^^^^^. Is what I will have one day.

 

And I'm getting there one day at a time.

 

If you feed the monster, he will live.

 

If you don't, he will die.

 

When he dies, he no longer exists.

 

At some point, one has to be responsible for their own life and their own actions.

 

Thank you Sharon.

 

I needed to see this.

[sharonsiff]

Exactly...

 

You will get there, one day at a time, like millions before us have done.

 

I get you Tiff, I honestly do, because it was the exact mind set I had...and won.

[beacon]

It was weird for me to say I was addicted to smoking because to me addiction was for drugs or drinking. I guess I did not see nicotine as a drug.  But this led me down a  path to thinking that smoking was so much more to me than just a drug, i.e. a pleasure, a helper, a reward, a relaxer, a social aid, a friend, a diet, a time killer, a concentrator. I thought I smoked because I liked it. It was part of my character.

 

When I read Allen Carr I came to believe  in his argument that I was smoking because I was addicted, and nothing more.  To me this was freeing. I didn't need to smoke to be me.  I was addicted to a powerful substance physically and by habit. And I knew that I could kick the addiction if I held out long enough and that I could still do everything fine as a nonsmoker.

 

I don't see myself as an addict now. I am a nonsmoker.  But I would never try a puff again as I know I would reopen healed wounds and become addicted again. 

[beacon]

P.s. You are doing great!

[Sazerac]

Twenty days for you, Tiff.  Hope you have some Joy planned for the weekend and lavish rewards because 20 days is a true accomplishment.

 

Please know that while I may not agree with some of your means and ways, this in no way affects my steadfast support.  

I sincerely want you to be free from the slavery of smoking Forever.

 

You are a smart chick and a stubborn one, both of those attributes will serve you well in defeating your addiction.

So,  breathe deep luscious breaths of your freedom and hold tight to your resolve, you are winning. 

 

s

[Doreensfree]

Great work..upwards and onwards.... X

[...]

Beacon, thank you very much. I think you just nailed it. An addiction does not, for me, have to define who I am.

 

Sazerac, I never doubted for a second your support for me. And I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate it. You have been a life line that I will forever be grateful for.

 

It's ok for any and all of us to disagree on something and keep moving forward. What works for one may not work for another but as a dear friend used to say all the time..... All roads lead to Rome. Let's just all get to Rome.

 

I am still smoke free. And right now, probably getting royally screwed in places I dont' want to be screwed getting my brakes changed.

 

And then watching my little guy play ball.

 

Thank you so much. I will continue checking in as it does help holding me accountable. I will probably need to do this for a while.

[sharonsiff]

I hope you do check in Tiffany, daily, be lovely for you when you read it back. Plus you no doubt will have folk reading, not yet posting, rooting for you and they could well be feeling the same as you.

 

Have a great day...will look forward to reading you tomorrow. Another day under your belt..all starting to add up nicely now.

[Doreensfree]

Get yourself to Rome TIFF...anyway you can....I will meet you there...

[sharonsiff]

Hi Tiff

 

Did you get screwed? Brakes wise of course...did your son enjoy playing ball?

 

How's today going...having any light bulb moments from what you've recently read, Allan Carr wise?

[...]

I did not get screwed.... thank goodness.  He was actually pretty darn fair.  lol  And my son ROCKED IT at the ball field !!!  

 

I am still smoke free.  

 

3 weeks today.  My ticker is wrong by one day and I can't seem to figure it out to correct it.  It's that GST time..... who the hell has GST time around here ?  lol  

 

I'm still reading my Allan Carr..... probably not AS MUCH as I should but getting in as much as I can.  

 

I'm on my way to Rome.  Can't wait to see y'all.  

[Sazerac]

You are Here NOW, Tiffany.  You're a non smoker.  

 

Stay Vigilant, reward yourself.  Count your money, count your days, have some FUN.

 

See you tomorrow CST  :P

[...]

Just checking in.....

 

Feeling rather emotional today (not like I'm going to cry or anything. Just kinda sad)  Not sure why but feeling like I lost a friend.  I'll be ok.

 

I think it's called romanticizing it.

 

Still smoke free.  

[sharonsiff]

Just checking in.....

 

Feeling rather emotional today (not like I'm going to cry or anything. Just kinda sad)  Not sure why but feeling like I lost a friend.  I'll be ok.

 

I think it's called romanticizing it.

 

Still smoke free.

 

It will pass Tiff... glad that you're ok.

[sharonsiff]

The loss of a friend feeling, kept me hooked as much as the addictive ingredients in the smoke. It must sound so silly, to non smokers, when we say it's as though we have lost a friend. A bit like having a dog I imagine, you don't get it until you've experienced the loss.

 

I won't lecture you on how much a smoke isn't your friend, you know all this already.

 

All I found was the more times, when I had sad days like you have today, I went through it the easier it got. Like with any loss really, no matter what the loss is, time does soften the feeling..till one day it's just not there.

 

Any plans today, is it a work day?