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Small, but important to me


momobrick

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Today is my eighth day smoke-free. Most people would celebrate a week, but for me, it's getting through day 8 that's the most important.

 

Last time I tried quitting, I only made it until the morning of day 8. It was still winter, and the end of a very long, drawn out and majorly blah winter, and I was not in a good place mentally. I was depressed and just wanted to feel normal again. I felt like I had nothing to look forward to ever again, and even though I knew that wasn't true, the feeling was just so strong, I caved. Right back to my normal smoking routine. And it felt great... for a couple months. 

 

Then I started having a hard time breathing, and all my old dislikes for smoking started becoming more and more in my face. The cons started out weighing the pros. So last Wednesday, while I was working out with my friend over the lunch hour, I said to her, "man, I really need to quit smoking. I am so tired of not being able to breathe." And she, a non-smoker, nodded as if to say "well, duh." So on a whim, I didn't smoke any more that day. And that became day one. I had no plans to quit, a half pack of cigarettes in my car... it totally came out of nowhere. (I gave the cigarettes to my husband that night.) That afternoon I spent researching all things quitting smoking and formulating a plan for how I would cope. I paid special attention to how to deal with the mental side of things, since that depression I felt last time completely derailed me. 

 

Today I celebrate being stronger than last time. I am celebrating already being able to breathe better, and being able to sing better. I am celebrating not being depressed today. Maybe a little irritable, but what else is new since June first? lol.

 

I had been using the patch, step one, and nicotine gum 4 mg. I took the patch off yesterday afternoon around lunch time, again on a whim. I got some step two patches and 2 mg gum last night. So far today, I haven't put a patch on yet. I have one with me, just in case I need it. I haven't chewed any gum yet. If I do, it'll be the 2 mg gum. I feel ready for this. But, if not, I have the NRT to fall back on. So, I'm also celebrating baby steps today.

 

I've got this.

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Update on the dreaded day 8... so far so good! I'm even in a good mood! I just got back from my lunch, which I spent at the gym. Did a 1.5 mile jog outside and then some pilates and yoga focusing on legs/glutes. It was a great workout. I can already breathe so much better when I run :)

 

Now that I'm back at my desk I am definitely craving a cigarette... I always do after a workout. I am trying to distract myself and not think about it. This feeling will pass. Luckily it's just this nagging little feeling that keeps hovering around the edges of my mind... not one of those 'OMG all I can think about is smoking' cravings, thank god.

 

OK, back to work now... hope ya'll have a great day!

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