Seeking community support...

[momobrick]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm on day six today. I'm quitting by myself, although I live with three other smokers, including my husband. It's been a challenge, for sure. My family doesn't know I smoke, so I can't reach out to them for support. So I'm looking for an online community that can help me get through the tough parts. So far, it's been manageable. I've been using the patch, as well as gum for the really intense cravings. The patch does a great job of taking away the withdrawal symptoms, while I deal the emotional and habitual side of this nasty addiction. 

 

The first few days went really well, surprisingly. It wasn't until yesterday, day 5, that I started getting into a funk. That's what gets me the most... the depression. I'm not a depressed person AT ALL. I tried quitting in March and lasted 8 days before I gave in and smoked again, just so I could feel like my normal happy self again. Now that I know I need to cope with being down in the dumps, I feel more prepared for it this time. But I'm definitely not looking forward to it. So anyways, yesterday I was sad. I felt like I didn't have anything to look forward to. It's like mourning a death. Something you want, but can never have again, so you have to let go and say good-bye. And the weird part is, physically I don't even want a cigarette. The idea of inhaling smoke at this point is not something I want to do. I love the feeling of being able to breathe clearly again. I missed that. But I still have this feeling of loss and of emptiness. So weird. 

 

I am staying strong and not giving in. I was even on a group motorcycle ride this weekend, surrounded by bikers who were smoking, and I was drinking, and STILL I didn't smoke. I'm really proud of that. 

 

Even though I am resisting, it's still a really difficult thing to do. It takes a lot of energy and effort. And I know this too shall pass and I will move through this cloud of dreariness and the sun will shine on me again. I will feel normal again. I know this. But, until then, I'm hoping you all will help me get there.

 

 

[Evelyn]

You ARE making it work.

If possible watch videos from Joel Spitzer and promise

NOT

ONE

PUFF

EVER

NOPE

No matter what. Don't look to far ahead HUN you're doing great. Welcome aboard the QT

[Doreensfree]

Hi and welcome to this wonderful place...

Congrats on your quit....you have nearly done week one.....

Smoking is not on the table....ever.....no matter what is happening....this is what got me through my early days..

Well that and ....a pillow to punch....

Read all you can here...knowledge is your tool ...to win this war...

Stick as close to the folks here...they will support you all the way through your journey...x

[Evelyn]

Yeah the pillow to punch, Sjeesh I almost kicked a bike in two today (garden packed with motors sht and bikes, no way to get a way out :P ) my ex-bf heard me swearing get rid of the trash &^%$# 

- oh noooo, I'm not moody

[Nancy]

Welcome to the board, momobrick.  You will find plenty of tools and information, here, and all the support you could ask for.  We have all been where you are now.  Take a look at the threads pinned to the top of Quit Smoking Discussions.  Many have found the video library there extremely helpful. as well.

 

Many of us read Allen Carr's book "EasyWay to Stop Smoking", and it helped, too.

 

The feeling of loss and emptiness is natural...it kind of feels like you have lost a friend, and you are grieving.  Maybe this thread will help:

 

 http://www.quittrain.com/topic/709-my-cigarette-my-friend/

 

 

Taking the Not One Puff Ever (NOPE) pledge daily can take smoking off the table for that day.

 

Six days is great!  You are almost through what we call Hell Week!

[Gemzee]

Many of us read Allen Carr's book "EasyWay to Stop Smoking", and it helped, too.

 

Definitely do this asap! Welcome to the board :)

[momobrick]

Thanks everyone! I did buy Allen Carr's book and plan on reading it this week! It's great to know there are people out there :)

[joe]

Welcome aboard M-Brick. :)

 

Nancy has givin you great advice on where to start this journey......it starts with knowledge!

 

The more educated you become about nicotine addiction, the better your odds of conquering it are!

 

We have all been where you are and understand the "pain" you are experiencing now, however, ask any long time quitter and each one will tell you that looking back, it wasn't as bad as what they expected!

 

The discomfort is only temporary ....the benefits are permanate.

 

Again, Welcome aboard and keep moving forward one day at a time.

[Boo]

Thanks everyone! I did buy Allen Carr's book and plan on reading it this week! It's great to know there are people out there :)

 

Welcome aboard Momobrick.  That book combined with the educational resources available here on the Quit Train made all the difference for me.  Education about addiction allows you to dispel the myths and lies of the cigarette.  When you see smoking for what it really is as opposed to how we perceived it as addicts, the choice becomes clear.

 

Taking the time to educate yourself about addiction and finding this support forum puts you on good footing for a successful quit.  Congratulations.  

[bakon]

Everyone hit the big points. I just want to address the "missing something" and never again feeling you said it felt like a loss or a depression.

 

Smoking introduces thousands of chemical combinations to the body. It adjusted to the best it could be with those being pumped in. Nicotine then gave a little shot of dopamine for each puff. Then it wore off and you had another smoke to feel good again. Then it wore off and repeat this cycle for years.

Five days later you are still fighting. It will be that way for a period of time. You will need to fight. But each crave or fight will be weaker than the last. You beat the hardest ones already. So what I am saying is it's not easy but it is easier every moment. Easier this afternoon than yesterday afternoon.

But back to missing something. Those chemicals have to leave your body. They will mess up your morning poo to give you a pimple to upset your stomach to make you hungry and fatter. They also mess up sleep and make us miserable for a week or two. That's how it works. But they are also leaving every moment and soon enough normal returns. Dopamine is given out at proper times and you don't need a hit of it every hour.

That normal you felt a few minutes after a smoke....that relaxed "I am ok" thing is our every moment feeling. No dopamine needed to feel it and when we exercise the dopamine feels extra good. But we are not sitting around years after quiting feeling like we miss something. We have it all the time. Smokers are the ones who only have a little bit of it

[PorkandPancakes]

Hi momo, welcome aboard.

 

You've gotten some great advice already. If I understand you correctly you are currently using NRT? With this in mind, I would like to encourage you to examine your feelings about cigs. It's true that stopping nicotine causes a few physical symptoms in the brain, particularly as described by Bakon above. But with you still using NRT then the majority of what you are feeling should be psychological.

 

Education, Allen CARR and this forum can totally help you with that but for now I urge you to think about this addiction. The truth is (well my truth at least) that I absolutely hated smoking. I was ashamed of it. It made me feel dirty. It lowered my self esteem. Every time you think of your 'loss', you have a choice. Either you reinforce your loss with thoughts of 'I'll never smoke again' and 'I miss the 'ah' moment' or you meet every negative/sad thought with (said in happy voice) "I never have to smoke again!" "I am free" and use the opportunity to reinforce your quit. At the end of the day, you have the power to make this quit easier or harder if you embrace the quit and every crave with positivity. Eventually, with the help of the educating resources available here, you may even believe it!

 

I wish you lots of success and a beautiful quit.

[beacon]

Hi! Welcome! :)

[momobrick]

Bakon, I have been thinking about what you said:

 

That normal you felt a few minutes after a smoke....that relaxed "I am ok" thing is our every moment feeling. No dopamine needed to feel it and when we exercise the dopamine feels extra good. But we are not sitting around years after quiting feeling like we miss something. We have it all the time. Smokers are the ones who only have a little bit of it .

 

That has really stuck with me. I've never thought about it in those terms, but you are absolutely right. Thank you for those thoughts. They are really helping.

 

Everyone's input is so appreciated. I'm enjoying checking this thread throughout the day. It's helping me get through and has actually made today easier than yesterday.

 

And yes, I agree, my addiction is more psychological/emotional than the chemical dependency. That's why I'm using NRT, so I can deal with breaking habits and examining emotions and moods before I ween myself from nicotine. I don't think I could handle it all at once. My withdrawal symptoms really mess with me. But more so is the habit side of it. Especially since I have to learn to still be around it but not participate since my husband and roommates smoke. They've all expressed interest in quitting since I've started but I honestly done think any of them actually will. At least not for good. My husband, maybe, but it will be a much more difficult thing for him. I hope he does though.

 

Want to hear the funniest part of all of this?? We're runners! Go figure that one out, lol.

 

Have a great night everyone!

[Petra]

Welcome!!!  

 

I'm another Allen Carr fan.  What I loved about his book is that we don't have to feel down and like we are missing something.  We can feel elated, happy that we are now set free!!!  What an exciting thing we have chosen to do - stop smoking!!!.

 

I LOVE being a non-smoker.  

 

Also, lots of athletes are smokers (or previous smokers).  You are going to LOVE the new endurance you will get from not smoking.  It is so awesome and worth and temporary feeling down moments.  

 

So, I suggest when you start to feel down, stand up, take a deep breath, open your arms and smile at your new freedom!   And if you need a distraction, have a healthy snack, brush your teeth, take a drink of water, call a friend.  Play the chicks & sticks game. 

 

That's another thing too - be here on the board as much as you can during the first few months of your quit.  I practically lived her.  It is a great place for support and fun!  Lots of great peeps here.  :)

[Runfree]

Welcome Momobrick and Congrats on your decision!  As Petra said, get involved, stay involved because the Quit Train really does help.  I look forward to getting to know you.

[El Bandito]

Hey Momo

 

Congratulations on the best decision that you have ever made.

 

Some great advice above.

 

Don't wait to feel good. Feel good now. You have quit. You are a non-smoker. Well done.

[Sazerac]

Welcome !

Don't forget Quitting Smoking is a Journey

that will take you to many delightful places.

You will gain immeasurable inner strength

and have the tools to deal with anything the world throws at you.

Congratulations on your Freedom.