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BrandyWyne Newbie

BrandyWyne

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Hi Doreen! Well I'll be the first to report in...I was away for the holiday weekend here with no internet and didn't post much, but do have something to say for myself...

I started my quit cold turkey, 2 weeks nicotine free! I felt super great at first.

Then started having some bad thoughts of smoking again :( I was going to spend the holiday weekend with family who smokes and was so scared I couldnt resist smoking, I went a stuck a patch on. Been wearing one all week now. It has kept me from smoking, but now I am probably right back where I started giving myself nicotine supply right through my arm.

 

I feel like a horrible cheater, is this considered a relapse? I feel like a big phony right now and supplying myself with nicotine...I know cold turkey is the way to go but I was desperate to do anything rather than smoke. Ugh. I am a nicotine junkie :(

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Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

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Wow.  You were free and clear and re-awakened your addiction.

Never mind, learn learn learn, and quit !

Are you still wearing the patch ?

Rip that evil sucker off and start again.

You can do it.  We all did it

and we are not super human,

we are all nicotine addicts who are now free.

Have faith in yourself.

You can do it.

You can do it.

I know you can.

S

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Evelyn Newbie

Evelyn

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I can so understand; don't let the magic unicorn NRT make you think in magic ways: you quit, you resist the cigs. no it's no relapse but it's torturing your mind and body... so I would say as the old patches-hokked-on-queen pull it off and believe in yourself, if you pray, pray :) YOU can and WILL do it hun

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Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

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Hi brandy... Good to hear from you...putting nicotine back in ...is not good.....but....

You didn't smoke ...

I've always said...all roads lead to Rome....It was hard being with smokers away from the board...

And you didn't smoke...but...

Make a stand....your a lovely non smoker....rip the patch off....stay close to the board, post ,post ,post...

We will get you through it...

Don't feel like you cheated....you didn't smoke...you just learn and move on...

Make a stand...xxx

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Boo Veteran

Boo

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I feel like a horrible cheater, is this considered a relapse? I feel like a big phony right now and supplying myself with nicotine...I know cold turkey is the way to go but I was desperate to do anything rather than smoke. Ugh. I am a nicotine junkie :(

 

Don't beat yourself up.  You didn't smoke and used the patches as a stopgap measure.  So long as you stay on the path towards freedom you're going in the right direction.

 

"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."

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BrandyWyne Newbie

BrandyWyne

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Thanks for the advice and insights everyone, it seems like everyone's divided on the NRT issue lol...I agree it's best to get it out of your system right away and get on with it. I just don't understand it myself, I feel so great the first couple weeks nicotine free, I deal with the major "grumpies" the first couple days of withdrawal and move on.

Then out of nowhere weeks later I get the thought in my head that I need to smoke...and it's not one of those "cravings" everyone says will pass in a few minutes, I can't distract myself from thinking about it. It's an all day event and debate in my head. Out of desperation I slapped a patch on..

 

Yes unfortunately it was a step 1 patch, I had a bunch left over from a previous failed quit. Yes I'm still wearing one today. I just know when it comes off, I'm going to have more bad days and I just want a calm easy day without my addiction nagging at me :(

 

The thought of smoking and smelling it from others around me is totally unappealing at this point. I don't miss that at all! Yuck...I just want to be over the addiction. I know that won't happen with a patch on. But I'm so afraid I'll fail if I take it off.

 

Ok patch is coming off and I'm going to bed, I'll sleep on it and start fresh tomorrow, NO PATCH.

 

And where are all you other newbies? Still quit? Hope everyone is doing well! And thank you again everyone for continuing to tell me what I need to hear :)

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Petra Newbie

Petra

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So happy to hear that you didn't smoke!!!  Great job!

 

Also happy to hear you took the patch off to sleep.  You'll have 8 smoke free hours upon waking.  

 

Instead of "just knowing you're going to have more bad days," reset your thoughts.  Like "I know it is going to feel great taking off the patch and being happy I haven't smoked in X # of days.

 

Try to look at the benefits of not smoking instead of dwelling on what you can't have.  

 

Keep going!!

 

We're happy you are here! :) 

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beacon Newbie

beacon

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Quitting is an emotional roller coaster for some for awhile.  Every time you resist smoking, or do something without smoking that you used to do, you get stronger and weaken the Nicodemon just a little bit more.

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IndigoChilde Newbie

IndigoChilde

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I relapsed after a 3 month quit, and I have to say, I didn't miss smoking at all at first. Then around the three month mark I was so depressed I really didn't care if I was killing myself, and I was almost willing to commit suicide. Smoking was on my mind almost 24 hours a day and I sank further and further into depression. On another quit board, someone else is almost through their fourth month and they've been dealing with worse than I went through, at about the same time. So, it happens that you'll deal with bad days, maybe even longer. But you can't let the fear control you. I couldn't take it anymore and smoked, and someone else is going through worse and still managing their quit by coming on the boards and talking/typing through it. You can rock your quit if you come on the boards often, and post in SOS when you think you're going to fail. NOPE pledge every day. And just keep it up. I didn't do that. Instead of talking through it, I caved, when I should have been posting in SOS and keeping in contact with everyone.

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Evelyn Newbie

Evelyn

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Indi, you weren't the only one out there although mental health is a different chapter: we must face reality smoking never helps or adds a good thing it shifts your problem. I only got worse and c*t after smoking so got myself on my feet. Where I am now. Don't keep beating yourself up. Yea, it was an excuse, you caved; girl learn from it. Fin good help, needed meds, talks, pm me if needed. YOU can do this and you're no rare depessed sad puppy hun, caz I m too sometimes and then I tuen into an bad wolf...ok.
REACH out; anyone with Mental health issues, to your spouse, if you're afraid to post pm me I've seen it pretty much all :( don't wander alone nd 
STICK WITH NOPE
You kick ass Indi, you are strong girl you dunno it yet but you are
So kick some nicotines ass!!!! (((hugs))

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IndigoChilde Newbie

IndigoChilde

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I'm trying to get back into a smoking cessation class again (it's free for Kaiser members) and working with my psychiatrist to help with my depression. They've changed my meds so I'm not as depressed anymore. Now I just need to get my quit to stick. I'm hoping the classes will help with that. It's what I did last time.

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beacon Newbie

beacon

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The struggle is real. I was surprised that I quit after 30 years of a pack a day because I struggle with compulsive eating and I always give in.

 

What is different about quitting smoking is that it is all or nothing, no more smoking, never take another puff. The choice is so clear. So when I was craving all I had to do was manage not to smoke.  And unlike dieting, the pay off was immediate.  I could feel my lungs clear;  I did not cough at night; my  sense of touch come back,  and after three weeks I could taste and smell everything. 

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Evelyn Newbie

Evelyn

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The struggle is real. I was surprised that I quit after 30 years of a pack a day because I struggle with compulsive eating and I always give in.

 

What is different about quitting smoking is that it is all or nothing, no more smoking, never take another puff. The choice is so clear. So when I was craving all I had to do was manage not to smoke.  And unlike dieting, the pay off was immediate.  I could feel my lungs clear;  I did not cough at night; my  sense of touch come back,  and after three weeks I could taste and smell everything. 

I have those eating mania's too and I had a trial 3 days (officially 2 weeks) to start eating gluten again to ee wht would happen after 2 weeks hardly any gluten: I blew up after going to the snackbar 3 times a day.... no details. 

 

The doc can blow his own whisle o more gluten for me, no more snacking; I did buy glutenfree microwave dinners and back to glutenfree I feel so much better; it's so true all or nothing with smoking, with food, to me too

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BrandyWyne Newbie

BrandyWyne

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Well I made it through the rest of the week patch free. Had a couple really rough days of withdrawals all over again. Which is my own fault for sticking a step 1 patch back on after 2 weeks nicotine free :/

 

Onward, with no more nicotine...no excuses!

 

How's everyone else doing? Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

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Boo Veteran

Boo

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Onward, with no more nicotine...no excuses!

 

How's everyone else doing? Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

 

Doing fine here and good to see you doing so well.  

 

You're doing a top shelf job with this quit Brandy.  Just keep doing what you're doing.

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