Surrender Not Imminent

[uberwensch]

I'm not on the verge of a relapse or failing the quit, but I am struggling with some aspects of my quit.

 

The good news: I'm not reaching for the pack (that's no longer) in my pocket every time I go outside. I'm not rationalizing smoking because of things which make me sad, or angry.

 

The other news which isn't so much bad as challenging: I'm struggling with how to parcel up my day into little chunks.

 

On regular work days (sort of more task-y & less challenging), I would grab a cigarette every 1.5/2.0 hours. On intense work days, where I'm heads down on a project & making progress, smoking was less regular. In BOTH instances, cigarettes were a kind of reward for just adulting. Note that I also rewarded myself for feeding my child dinner (mommy's going outside for a minute), enduring a couple of hours of existence, etc. But I really did treat the cigarettes emotionally as a kind of treat or reward. And what's happening now is - I don't have anything that gives me that little buzz of a treat or reward. I don't eat sweets, really, so a tiny snack isn't going to do it. I do try to go outside and read a little in the sunshine at appropriate work break times, but I was reading while SMOKING before - so the experience isn't quite as nice. 

Not a big problem, I've been pushing through. BUT given that my anxiety & depression levels rise as my routine is disrupted & nicotine leaves (has left) the building, I guess I'd like to find something to give me a little boost through the day. Maybe I could find some kind of affirmation app or something - but I am a little jaded. I also don't have "natural" breaks in my day - I tend to focus for about the same amount of time at work & at home as I did before, but have no little ritual to break the day into more manageable chunks.

 

I'm not in danger of anything but having some blah to anxious/depressed days - but any suggestions would be welcome. 

 

[BAT]

It's part of the process. It gets better. Stay strong. I'm sure your child appreciates mommy not smelling like nasty cigs. 

 

And welcome to the QT UW  :)

[PorkandPancakes]

Hi Uber. I don't know how long you've been quit as must have missed it but I can only speak from my experience.

 

In the first month I definitely 'noticed' the absence of a cigarette break. Someone posted on here, very early on in my quit an analogy about our internal PA. It's an excellent post and really resonated with me. It compares your brain to a PA that's worked for you all your life. For the last <insert number of years smoked> you've been sending a memo to your PA to remind you that we smoke at certain times. For example, 'oh, I've nearly finished this job, remind me to smoke when I'm done'. When we quit, our PA Gets the memo but it goes against every other memo we ever sent. So we have to break it down. for every 'craving' or 'thought' of smoking, we send a new memo saying "Oh no sorry, did I not mention? We no longer smoke, even after the ironing". Or "no, we don't smoke after we come out of the cinéma anymore". It's only once you have encountered every single trigger and retrained the brain that this passes.

 

I realise this doesn't help you directly with how to 'break up the day' but my thoughts are this. Breaking up the day is how us smokers survived. It's what we tell ourselves we need because we HAVE to smoke. Once you start acknowledging each trigger and retraining yourself by saying 'yes I used to smoke here but now I don't', I found that after a while, I was able to complete said task without thinking of smoking. And now, 6 months on, my day is still broken up into separate activities and segments by the nature of how our lives work. Only I don't NEED the breaks I once convinced myself was a reward. In fact, my rewards now are that I still don't smoke. And I don't try to kill myself every 2 hours. (Actually it was closer to every hour for me!)

 

I hope this reads ok to you and maybe someone will find the post I was referring to. It really is my favourite.

 

I guess in short I'm saying, in the short term it's great to look for alternatives to break up your day but in the long run, you won't need them because you never really did. Once you don't need nicotine, you'll wonder just how you ever got anything done when you keep having to interrupt things for a cig!

 

Well done on your quit this far and sorry for the long post!

[Sunnyside]

I suffer with anxiety and depression. Exercise really helped me through early on. It temporarily boosts feel-good chemicals called endorphins. You don’t need to run marathons to get a benefit. Just walking a few times a week can help.

[Nancy]

Quitting can mess with your blood sugar.  Are you making sure to have juice or a snack every couple of hours?  The thing that helped me the most was to get up and walk around, outside when weather permitted, or inside if not.  Deep breathing also helps.

[uberwensch]

OK so THIS quit is at 14 days (15 tonight at 5:30 p.m. Mountain). 

 

I did know about the blood sugar thing; I've been smacked around by that one before (low blood sugar can feel a lot like anxiety & depression, for those who don't know, so if you expect yourself to have anxiety/depression you may not even know to eat something just to make sure - and note, this is EXTREMELY helpful advice for smokers like myself who've been fine with 1 meal a day most days, with that one being dinner). So I've been making sure to eat breakfast every day! And lunch MOST days. I have NO appetite (depression is situational as well as chemical; lost my 46 yo younger brother on 03/18 & have been just RANDOMLY busting out in tears) so I'm not (currently) in danger of the bent elbow disease a lot of people get when quitting.

 

I will try walking; I've been trying to get my little man to walk with me (we moved in January, so this is a new neighborhood & I'm trying to get a feel for how many other kids there are in the neighborhood) but he's been resisting because YouTube is so much more fun than hanging with mom. Maybe I'll put it to him as something he can do to help mom out, since he knows smoking is bad & I haven't been doing it.

 

Thanks, all.

[Boo]

I'm not on the verge of a relapse or failing the quit, but I am struggling with some aspects of my quit.

 

The good news: I'm not reaching for the pack (that's no longer) in my pocket every time I go outside. I'm not rationalizing smoking because of things which make me sad, or angry.

 

That's great news.  If you just stick with it, that eureka moment will happen for you.  It may be today, or tomorrow...but it will happen.

[Still winning]

Part of the process is really breaking down those regular times and triggers that it causes. What we once called a treat or reward, was realistically our addiction to nicotine demanding to be fed. I found it helped to write a list of distractions that I could engage. Maybe you could treat yourself to some magazines that interest you and read the articles when you are ready to have a small breather? 

 

x

[Jenny]

I experienced lots of anxiety/depression in the beginning of my quit.  As you wrote, smoking is part of everything you do and adjusting to that change can be hard.   I did a lot of walking during times when I would have smoked, like at work.   Quitting gives you so much free time!  Eventually, you'll fill that space with other things. 

 

You got this!  Just keep it moving and everything will fall into place.

[Jenny]

Hi Uber. I don't know how long you've been quit as must have missed it but I can only speak from my experience.

 

In the first month I definitely 'noticed' the absence of a cigarette break. Someone posted on here, very early on in my quit an analogy about our internal PA. It's an excellent post and really resonated with me. It compares your brain to a PA that's worked for you all your life. For the last <insert number of years smoked> you've been sending a memo to your PA to remind you that we smoke at certain times. For example, 'oh, I've nearly finished this job, remind me to smoke when I'm done'. When we quit, our PA Gets the memo but it goes against every other memo we ever sent. So we have to break it down. for every 'craving' or 'thought' of smoking, we send a new memo saying "Oh no sorry, did I not mention? We no longer smoke, even after the ironing". Or "no, we don't smoke after we come out of the cinéma anymore". It's only once you have encountered every single trigger and retrained the brain that this passes.

 

I realise this doesn't help you directly with how to 'break up the day' but my thoughts are this. Breaking up the day is how us smokers survived. It's what we tell ourselves we need because we HAVE to smoke. Once you start acknowledging each trigger and retraining yourself by saying 'yes I used to smoke here but now I don't', I found that after a while, I was able to complete said task without thinking of smoking. And now, 6 months on, my day is still broken up into separate activities and segments by the nature of how our lives work. Only I don't NEED the breaks I once convinced myself was a reward. In fact, my rewards now are that I still don't smoke. And I don't try to kill myself every 2 hours. (Actually it was closer to every hour for me!)

 

I hope this reads ok to you and maybe someone will find the post I was referring to. It really is my favourite.

 

I guess in short I'm saying, in the short term it's great to look for alternatives to break up your day but in the long run, you won't need them because you never really did. Once you don't need nicotine, you'll wonder just how you ever got anything done when you keep having to interrupt things for a cig!

 

Well done on your quit this far and sorry for the long post!

^^^^This^^^^ is an awesome post!

[uberwensch]

This is weirdly helpful:

 

http://whyquit.com/pr/100305.html

[Jenny]

This is weirdly helpful:

 

http://whyquit.com/pr/100305.html

whyquit has the best material out there on quitting smoking.  I like the one you linked as well.   

[IndigoChilde]

The cheesiest thing I ever read was to say "YIPPIE! I'm not a smoker!" in the book Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. To be honest, I hated that. But it's true that we need to celebrate the fact that we're not smoking. Try letting a celebration be your reward. Smile, even if you have to force it, and think, "I used to smoke here, but now I don't. That feels good." For some reason, while smiling is an indicator that you're happy, the act of smiling can help you become happier as well.