Just talking my thoughts out

[sharonsiff]

Marti....out till after 8:30pm will share more of the page when I get back, if you want.

 

You're not being a brat..lol

 

You're just annoyed, and disappointed....normal feelingsvto have.

 

Go run a barrth, distract yourself ;)

[Still winning]

okok, will chill lol. It's bank holiday right, who can be sad and grumpy when easter eggs are coming!!!  And Barths ;) 

[sgt.barney]

Mind over matter, yes it's powerful ...

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sharonsiff]

Hi Marti....in a nut shell

 

Gremlins are unhelpful and destructive behaviours, beliefs or automatic programmes stored in the computer of your mind, the parietal. They are soft wired so are removable :)

 

Examples of unhelpful gremlins, from time to time, are unrealistic expectations and unhelpful expectation. Example in the book is a gremlin that says 'I should always be on time' so if you are late, for whatever reason then it can lead to stress as you are going on to believe you should always be on time.

 

So you can replace that gremlin with with an autopilot that says 'I would like to be on time whenever I can but sometimes this can't happen and it's not the end of the world and I will deal with it.' This is more realistic, likely to relax you and help you not over react when things don't go to plan.

 

It then gives an example of always having to win to prove yourself. Say playing a game of tennis can be good fun if you have a belief that it's just a game and the outcome doesn't really matter. This doesn't mean you won't try but instead means that you have perspective. It then says however, if you have a belief that you have to win because it reflects on your worth as a person then the game will become intense and probably unplesant. So what you hold as a belief will definitely affect the way in which you handle outcomes or respond to them, whatever they are. It then says it is better to have realistic expectations or in some cases hold no expectations at all.

 

Gives other examples of gremlins

●overreacting to situations

●eating every time you feel like it but don't need to

●beating yourself up

●worrying about decisions and not making them

● getting angry when you don't want to.

 

Obviously Marti that page is in complete isolation as to how it fits in to the workings of and how to manage your mind.

 

So I used it to say to EB...be realistic, your triggers are still there, the thoughts are unhelpful...so maybe folk who feel a whoosh of this could change their mind to I would rather not feel like this but it's to be expected really, and bears no reflection on my progress.

 

Not that EB needs advising the words to replace with, he tends to errr on the side of positive anyway.

 

I love this book Marti.

 

 

So as Sarge says if you don't mind it don't matter

 

But...if you do mind, if the thoughts folk have are unwelcome and it does matter...then address them.

[Still winning]

Aw sharon, you are good people. I needed to see a team on my side tonight, thank you. I am assuming this gem of wisdom is allen carr?

[Rain Forest]

Marti, I am totally loving your attitude… you are gonna win this horrible battle because you mean business.

 

I want to mention just one thing: you will not always feel this way.  As time goes on, you won’t even think of wanting a cig because it will become really foreign to you… no more craves, no more thoughts about it, just happy with true freedom.  I promise you, it will happen.

 

I remember when I first quit, one of my biggest worries was how I was gonna be able to stay quit… and that’s the funny part, the longer you’re quit, the less of an issue it becomes.  I wish we knew this before we quit, it would save us all so much anxiety… when I first quit smoking, I should have bought stock in Xanax… lol

 

Anyway, beautiful attitude you have!

Rain

[sharonsiff]

Aw sharon, you are good people. I needed to see a team on my side tonight, thank you. I am assuming this gem of wisdom is allen carr?

Hi Marti, no, although I think Allen totally helps to turn gremlins into autopilots. No, this is the book by Dr Steve Peters, the psychiatrist behind 2012 GB cycling team. The book helps to

 

● Recognise how your mind is working

●understand and manage your emotions and thoughts

●manage yourself and become the person you want to be.

 

I want to feel less flat so am using it to help sort out my current serotonin receptor problem...feel better already :)

 

How do you feel now Marti, about your mum? Are you focusing on other things and letting it go?

 

Did you have a barth? ;)

[Markus]

Marti

 

Nice piece of writing your OP, that's the one I wanted to write about, the one I am interested in.

 

That IMO is the one to hold onto. The rest of it is in your life, part of you, but will not shake the foundation you describe in the first paragraph of the original post. It is all noise on the periphery of your quit, let it stay there. keep it at arm's length.

 

Only if you let it happen will something shake your quit.

 

You are alone in this, it's a highly personal thing, keep it real and keep it all about you because that is exactly what it is, all about you.

Please remember to keep it that way. This place, all of these people are here to help and cheer you on but you are the one doing the slogging so do not take on extra baggage...

 

And the marching band, jugglers and clowns, you got that part right, they are a sideline.

 

No man's land is a myth, but there is a feeling some have,,,what do I do with all of this time? What am I?

 

What you wanted to be that's what you are....I am proud of you and you paying it forward.  :)

 

KTQ,

 

MArkus