Under what circumstances would you smoke again?

[sharonsiff]

Ironically I stopped due to cash flow and sadly would say to myself that if I won the lottery I would smoke, absolutely.

 

That was before the 'romancing the cigarette' mental clearout and it is such a wonderful feeling to say none, no circumstances would have me romancing, or actually having a cigarette. The mental freedom has turned out to be even more wonderful than the financial freedom is....priceless really.

[Aine]

Hint :  The answer is "Under no circumstance"

 

If you can't honestly answer that question with a resounding " I will never Smoke again, no matter the circumstance" then you still need to work on your quit mindset.

 

only when there are no doors remaining will you be completely comfortable in your quit.

 

Really?

 

I  disagree. The nature of addiction contradicts such sweeping statements as "I will never smoke again" Today, I will not smoke.

 

FYI: The use of "you need to" in the second person  does  not work as well as sharing personal experience in the "I" first person perspective, either, at least for me. Except, possibly, from a trained and licensed professional in this area of nicotine cessation.

[Jonny5]

Really?

 

I disagree. The nature of addiction contradicts such sweeping statements as "I will never smoke again" Today, I will not smoke.

 

FYI: The use of "you need to" in the second person does not work as well as sharing personal experience in the "I" first person perspective, either, at least for me. Except, possibly, from a trained and licensed professional in this area of nicotine cessation.

Lol. Maybe our geographical difference mean a lot is lost in translation. Around hwre in the UK we say "you" a lot in a general way meaning people including ourselves :-)

 

Even though I'm an addict I can 100% guarantee that I won't smoke again. Many of us will give that guarantee. It is meant to comfort not to disturb. It is to share with you hope that you too can and may well feel this way too.

 

As for being licenced and trained, well my training is 2 years plus on the job experience of going through what all of us did to get here. I don't know if there are any licences available for people who are volunteers? I sure can't afford any courses, but what I know I'll gladly share :-)

[Aine]

Lol. Maybe our geographical difference mean a lot is lost in translation. Around hwre in the UK we say "you" a lot in a general way meaning people including ourselves :-)

 

Even though I'm an addict I can 100% guarantee that I won't smoke again. Many of us will give that guarantee. It is meant to comfort not to disturb. It is to share with you hope that you too can and may well feel this way too.

 

As for being licenced and trained, well my training is 2 years plus on the job experience of going through what all of us did to get here. I don't know if there are any licences available for people who are volunteers? I sure can't afford any courses, but what I know I'll gladly share :-)

 

Geographical difference is not the issue since we both speak English.  First person is still the accepted usage when sharing personal experience, which is what this forum does so well. Second person "you" is understood by all cultures that have second person (Chinese may not have this pronoun-need to double check on that one) pronouns to be a dogmatic and a hierarchal point of view, putting the speaker on a level higher than his or her audience, and thus is frequently seen as patronizing.

 

There are no trained professional teachers here; thus, my discomfort when you tell many in this thread that our perspective and feelings are "incorrect."

 

I do appreciate, though, your sincerity and willingness to share.

[sgt.barney]

First person is still the accepted usage when sharing personal experience, which is what this forum does so well. Second person "you" is understood by all cultures that have second person

The Sarge chuckles to himself ...

 

Easy Peasy

[Aine]

The Sarge chuckles to himself ...

 

Easy Peasy

 

With, of course, some exceptions, when using 3rd person internal referencing. . . Illeism  can be seen as an effective narrative style. . .

[Jonny5]

Geographical difference is not the issue since we both speak English. First person is still the accepted usage when sharing personal experience, which is what this forum does so well. Second person "you" is understood by all cultures that have second person (Chinese may not have this pronoun-need to double check on that one) pronouns to be a dogmatic and a hierarchal point of view, putting the speaker on a level higher than his or her audience, and thus is frequently seen as patronizing.

 

There are no trained professional teachers here; thus, my discomfort when you tell many in this thread that our perspective and feelings are "incorrect."

 

I do appreciate, though, your sincerity and willingness to share.

You say tomato I say tomatoe lol :-)

 

I honestly don't mean to sound patronising or superior. We honestly all talk like that around here. You wouldn't believe the laughs me and my American frinds have over our language differences even though its all English as you rightly say.

 

When I say that a mindset needs to change, its because experience of myself and others have found this to be true in nicotine cessation. It's what I learned thtough doing it many ways until I found success. Success so mind blowing to me, the 40 a day chain smoker that I want you all to benefit from what I learned and be this free too :-)

[Jenny]

You say tomato I say tomatoe lol :-)

 

I honestly don't mean to sound patronising or superior. We honestly all talk like that around here. You wouldn't believe the laughs me and my American frinds have over our language differences even though its all English as you rightly say.

 

When I say that a mindset needs to change, its because experience of myself and others have found this to be true in nicotine cessation. It's what I learned thtough doing it many ways until I found success. Success so mind blowing to me, the 40 a day chain smoker that I want you all to benefit from what I learned and be this free too :-)

+1  I think maybe some newer quitters just have not got there yet but they will in time if they do the work.  I can honestly say that I will never smoke again.  I know this because I am in control. 

Great post Jonny.

[babs609]

I love this thread and everybody in it...whether I agree with your statements, or not   :)

 

If you do check it out...the ones who said "absolutely not"  (with the exception of sarge and his was a hypothetical romeo-like gesture) were all old phartes..

 

.and the ones who said..."well...if this happened, if that happened...yada yada yada" ..they are all fresh....just a few weeks or months.  Still on the roller coaster..

 

I don't believe Jonny is saying how wrong your feelings are....but what he is saying is....if you change your perspective...you won't HAVE these feelings and thoughts.  You will KNOW on a very deep level that smoking does absolutely nothing for you.  Nothing.  So...when you say "i would smoke if....."  then it would be no different than saying....if an asteroid is coming...i'm going to stick a chicken wing up my ass.  Why?

 

Screw that!   If an asteroid is coming...I'm eating a whole pecan pie to myself and then having lots and lots of sex!   :)

[comrade simba]

It costs nothing to say I'll never smoke again. Hell, at that price I'll take a dozen.

[Aine]

Jennie, I assume you are referring to me with your mention of "newer quitters?" Please don't dismiss me like this. It is hurtful. I have a different viewpoint about my addiction to nicotine. I would like to be able to share it without being told "I haven't done the work."

 

I believe I have an addiction to nicotine. Addiction is never a state where one will not "have these feelings and thoughts." It is about, though, what I choose to do with those feelings and thoughts.

[Jonny5]

It costs nothing to say I'll never smoke again. Hell, at that price I'll take a dozen.

Personally it cost me quite a lot to be able to say it with self proved conviction. I always felt confident that I would never smoke again. But only really proved it to myself through how I found myself dealing with real hurt and tragedy.

[Jonny5]

 

I believe I have an addiction to nicotine. Addiction is never a state where one will not "have these feelings and thoughts." It is about, though, what I choose to do with those feelings and thoughts.

Luckily this is untrue. I can't wait for you to reach a place of peace in your quit, and look back at this with you and smile at how trapped you were by yoir belief.

 

There is so much for you to look forward to, I remember feeling exactly like you do right now. And I can remember that feeling changing. It was one of the best days of my life :-)

[Soberjulie]

Jennie, I assume you are referring to me with your mention of "newer quitters?" Please don't dismiss me like this. It is hurtful. I have a different viewpoint about my addiction to nicotine. I would like to be able to share it without being told "I haven't done the work."

 

I believe I have an addiction to nicotine. Addiction is never a state where one will not "have these feelings and thoughts." It is about, though, what I choose to do with those feelings and thoughts.

Ahhhhh.

Yes. You speak my language Aine.

:)

Today I won't smoke. Or drink. Or snort. Or pop.

But I dare not become arrogant about my addiction(s) and say I never will again.

I know better.

Because I've seen what happens with my very own eyes.

[Soberjulie]

Luckily this is untrue. I can't wait for you to reach a place of peace in your quit, and look back at this with you and smile at how trapped you were by yoir belief.

 

There is so much for you to look forward to, I remember feeling exactly like you do right now. And I can remember that feeling changing. It was one of the best days of my life :-)

Oy!

Is it possible to accept that maybe....just maybe...there are folks here among you who have dealt with addiction(s) for years, decades even......and simply feel differently?

Have experienced it differently??

Telling someone their experience is untrue is......well.....I don't even know the word!

But there should be room here for different beliefs and experiences without being spoke down to from some 2yr quit hilltop.

[sgt.barney]

Addiction is never a state where one will not "have these feelings and thoughts."

The worm has yet to turn for you ... But it will.

 

It will.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Jonny5]

Ahhhhh.

Yes. You speak my language Aine.

:)

Today I won't smoke. Or drink. Or snort. Or pop.

But I dare not become arrogant about my addiction(s) and say I never will again.

I know better.

Because I've seen what happens with my very own eyes.

It's not arrogance Julie. It's a wholly achievable place to be.

 

Is that not why you are here? To get support from people who are further down the journey than you? Why call them arrogant? They could just move on and leave the newbies to muddle through. But they don't. Because they have been where you are and they are volunteering to help you get to a more comfortable place in your quit.

 

I have been sober for two years on 21st. I'll never drink again. That is fact. I will also be smoke free for 28 months on 21st, I'll never smoke again. That is also fact.

 

We have learned that we control ourselves 100% and that knowledge frees us. Let us free you too. Don't fight us, learn from us. Otherwise what's the point?

[Soberjulie]

It's not arrogance Julie. It's a wholly achievable place to be.

 

Is that not why you are here? To get support from people who are further down the journey than you? Why call them arrogant? They could just move on and leave the newbies to muddle through. But they don't. Because they have been where you are and they are volunteering to help you get to a more comfortable place in your quit.

 

I have been sober for two years on 21st. I'll never drink again. That is fact. I will also be smoke free for 28 months on 21st, I'll never smoke again. That is also fact.

 

We have learned that we control ourselves 100% and that knowledge frees us. Let us free you too. Don't fight us, learn from us. Otherwise what's the point?

I didn't call ANYONE arrogant.

I shared my PERSONAL thoughts and experiences in regards to my own addictions.

My views tend to come from my personal experience based largely on a 12 step model (but not limited to)

Jonny, I respect that you have views based on YOUR experience.

But to tell me (or others) that our experience is wrong.....is condescending and hurtful.

We ALL have something to offer.

To be dismissed due to 'time smoke free' or a differing viewpoint feels terrible.

[comrade simba]

Got a buck says it takes way less than a year for the real addicts to finally throw their hands up in the air and walk away from the White Robe-ists. All that's left be playin' that same old chord over and over again.

 

At three months I'm going to go hang out full time with Jimmy.

[Jonny5]

I didn't call ANYONE arrogant.

I shared my PERSONAL thoughts and experiences in regards to my own addictions.

My views tend to come from my personal experience based largely on a 12 step model (but not limited to)

Jonny, I respect that you have views based on YOUR experience.

But to tell me (or others) that our experience is wrong.....is condescending and hurtful.

We ALL have something to offer.

To be dismissed due to 'time smoke free' or a differing viewpoint feels terrible.

Im not saying you are wrong, I'm saying I believe you will feel better.

 

If you stopped visualising me as someone condescending, preaching from a hilltop you might listen to the happy ex smoker sitting on a bench with you offering you hope.

 

I have nothing but good intentions Julie, I believe that this is visible to most people. Did you know when I was in my early quit I was really angry too. I even broke my own window. How daft is that.

 

One thing to remember is that alcoholism and nicotine addiction are different. Although similarities can be found on a mental dependance level. Physiologically they are different and different techniques are used.

 

Please embrace what we as a collective can offer you to help with your nicotine addiction.

 

I'll be there to support you all the way :-)

[Aine]

 

I have been sober for two years on 21st. I'll never drink again. That is fact. I will also be smoke free for 28 months on 21st, I'll never smoke again. That is also fact.

 

 

 

 

These two statements are not "facts" .  These are your opinions.  

 

You have every right to them.

 

As I do mine.

[sgt.barney]

Got a buck says it takes way less than a year for the real addicts

LOL

 

"Real Addicts"

 

As if your addiction is somehow ... special.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Jonny5]

These two statements are not "facts" . These are your opinions.

You have every right to them.

As I do mine.

No, they are facts about me. And yours may be facts about you.

 

But I ask you this, does your outlook inspire hope of a better future?

 

You're forgetting that I've done this cesation lark, and I'm at where most desperate early quitters want to be.

 

I am free. Is that not what you want too?

 

Your view fortells of no future freedom. So why not try mine on for size? There's room here on the bench with me :-)

[leahcaR]

Got a buck says it takes way less than a year for the real addicts to finally throw their hands up in the air and walk away from the White Robe-ists. All that's left be playin' that same old chord over and over again.

 

At three months I'm going to go hang out full time with Jimmy.

Real addicts? What/who isn't a "real" one?

[Jonny5]

Got a buck says it takes way less than a year for the real addicts to finally throw their hands up in the air and walk away from the White Robe-ists. All that's left be playin' that same old chord over and over again.

 

At three months I'm going to go hang out full time with Jimmy.

I'd be happier if you stayed. Long term success is helped tremendously by engaging in conversation with other quitters. We call it paying it forward. Loke I am to you. One day you'll be able to help someone. It feels really good, you'll like it. The white robe isn't compulsory though. You can wear what you like :-)