Dejected and Downtrodden

[Ramona]

Not good guys.  Don't throw away a Year and 3 Months of being quit.

 

Mistakes I Made:

 

1) Drank Booze

2) Blamed Boyfriend Who Originally Quit With Me But Relapsed in 5 Months

3) Did Not Post S.O.S.On This Board

4) Did Not Care

5) Allowed Mom's Smoking to Bother me

6) Allowed Sister's Smoking to Bother Me

7) Went Cold Turkey on Psyche Meds wo/Consulting Anyone

8) Did Not Pray On It

9) Expected Others to Congratulate Me All The Time

10) Expected Others to Find My Feat as Significant As I Found It

 

How I Feel:

 

1) Crappy

2) Anxious

3) Sick

4) Smelly

5) Rushed & Impatient

6) Loser (ish)

7) Worried/Scared

8) Hooked Again

9) Mildly Doomed

10) Stupid

 

New Quit Date set for February 17th.  My 33rd Birthday.  33 is also my old basketball jersey number.

Will need help at that time...I'm actually ruing these 7 days I have to smoke.  But dates are important to me so I know using my birthday will be a big help.  It will be a reminder that I AM QUITTING FOR ME AND ME AND ME AND ME AND ME ALONE.

 

To be continued...

 

[IndigoChilde]

Aw, I'm sorry dear. This time just hold on. You've learned from your past mistakes, identified them and how you feel. Just don't allow yourself to get back into the same smoking routine. That'll make it worse when you quit again. Wait to smoke for 10 mins after your trigger, and tell yourself you used to smoke, even if you're smoking right now. It'll help your mind prepare for the new quit.

[Sunnyside]

Re-group and stop beating yourself up about. We are here and will support you all the way.

 

Mistakes are all lessons in life and they make us stronger at the end of the day xx

[bakon]

Quit now. Then you can feel good and strong on your birthday the hard part is over.

 

Date is important. Ok-Ash Wednesday. I quit. Say it. Now do it.

[Doreensfree]

TEW...upward and onwards...

[Ramona]

Alright.  Bakon's advice sounds soundest.  I really don't want to smoke for the next week.  My skin already feels dry and crunchy.  I smell horrible.  In typical me style I went balls-to-the-wall and started sucking them down.  I smoked half a pack in 12 hours.  The nicotine is surging through my blood.  It's poison.  I hate this!  I DO want to feel strong for my birthday.  The thought of smoking for an entire week is excruciatingly daunting and gross.  The thought that this week will propel me into another 15 years of active addiction is nightmarish.

 

I'm going to start my drugs again (just to secure the beginning of this quit).  I am very resentful I was ever prescribed these pills!  However, I was repeatedly warned to wean down.  Anything and everything you read about this stuff advises the user to SLOWLY wean down but I was like, "Eh, screw it.  Screw the insurance companies, screw this pill."  In the end I just screwed myself!!!!!!  Arrogance and extremism strike again! 

 

I left a message for a Naturopath and I hope they call me back soon.  Conventional Doctors are in bed with Big Pharma so they'll never advise natural methods.  At this point the threat of becoming a full time smoker is worse than the threat of being on this other crap for a little while longer. 

 

Midnight tonight - 2/11/2016.  I quit tonight.  I go to sleep now because I work nights.  HELP QUITTRAIN.  Will check posts when I wake up and start my new life anew.

[Doreensfree]

High five TEW...

No time like the present...why put more poision into your body...

We will be here for you..as always...

Nope...

Congrats...let's make this you sticky...xx

[bakon]

awesome

[beacon]

Good. It may sound dumb but I believe we get a new start every day. You looked at why you started smoking again. Great, now time to move on.  You obviously can be successful again. Don't compare, move forward.  Ash Wednesday.  A time of renewal, rebirth

[Karen]

In the past a few years back, I relapsed and I let my pride get in the way of just getting right back on board on the quit site and all the wonderful supportive people that grew to know me.....So I kept smoking for another frickin 4 years! I'm so happy to see you're not waiting for your birthday. I'm glad you posted and I'm sure you have already made some great cyber friends here!  I wish you the very best.

[IndigoChilde]

At my smoking cessation class they offered us either the patch or bupropion. They did not offer Chantix because if its side effects. But also gave us the option of not using anything at all. This was through my HMO. But the biggest thing they gave us was steps to quitting smoking and gave us two weeks to mentally prepare ourselves by saying things like "I used to smoke" 10x a day and getting used to taking deep breaths.

[Nancy]

TEW, I am so glad you are quitting right away.  I tried to reply to you, but could not find the words when you said you were going to smoke for another week.  You can do this, and we are all behind you.  Let us know what you need.

 

I suggest printing out your first post in this thread, (except the stuff about waiting a week) and put it where  you will see it often, and keep one with you at all times.  It is very powerful!

[BAT]

Welcome Back  :)

[Devil Doll]

Good TEW I am glad to see that you are starting now as opposed to letting it sink its claws into you for another week.

Whenever you feel that you are lacking in number 11 on the reason that you relapsed please make sure that you come here. We will cheer lead the hell out of your accomplishments. We all know what it is like to get there.

Oh and number 3... Always do number three ;)

Let us know how you are doing.

[Ramona]

Technically I quit @ 4 PM today.

My quit is on this date.

In typical all-or-nothing thought I figured: "I must use the first completely cigg free date/day as my quit date"

Who says?

Which/What/Whose rules am I following?

Stupid thinking.

Smoking is not, in any way, a pleasure or a freedom.

As always: we quit for today.

As always: it sux to smoke.

[Sunnyside]

Good to see you back on the train again, you can do this x

[Runfree]

Technically I quit @ 4 PM today.

My quit is on this date.

In typical all-or-nothing thought I figured: "I must use the first completely cigg free date/day as my quit date"

Who says?

Which/What/Whose rules am I following?

Stupid thinking.

Smoking is not, in any way, a pleasure or a freedom.

As always: we quit for today.

As always: it sux to smoke.

 

Got a kick out of this.  No rules.  I quit at 1:47 PM on my "quit day".  

 

Ash Wednesday is a nice sounding date to snuff out the last one (no offense intended).

[IndigoChilde]

Make a ticker! I don't know about you, but it helps me to see it in tough moments. Especially since my previous quit was only 24hrs.

[beacon]

 

Yes, I love my ticker. Make one

 

I am on a diet and I just reset my weight (upward) on the tracking up.  I didn't like to do it but I faced it and now I can see it going down each week. 

[Ramona]

Ambivalent about ticker.

It's hard to illustrate 1 year, 3 months minus Superbowl Sunday and half of Ash Wednesday!!!

But I like the idea of designing a new one.

So not yet...but maybe soon.

 

24 hours down.  Ate a lot of food...going easy on myself.

 

I think a development here is my realization of how disgusting & unappealing the habit. 

Maybe I needed this to remind me that I don't want to smell crappy and feel jacked-up.

I love running, clean hair, money, deep-breaths and doing absolutely nothing.

I love presence and focus and peace.

[Runfree]

Yes. I agree that it's important to remember the disgust.  Grinding it in helped with my quit anyway.  I kept that barely smoked cig in a baggie on my front deck just in case I ever forgot.  Just one look and I could feel the burn in my chest, a repulsive reminder of my rock bottom moment.

 

You've got this.  I know it like I knew with my own.

 

Congrats on your 24.  A really big deal.

[Ramona]

Uh.  I wonder how long these now-open reward centers are going to cry out.  I had shut em down but they're having an industrial revolution up in there.  A couple days of my business and they think they're back in business.  Arrrg.

 

Such polarized thought:

 

Well, I blew it so I should take advantage and smoke for awhile

I can't really blow it, I don't want to smoke for even one more day

 

Sigh.

[Sunnyside]

I remember being two months into my quit and smoking one and a half cigs and that caused me a problem for awhile. The worst part was even though I was back on day one, I didn't feel like i was and until my brain and body started to work collectively with each other, that was just the it was.

 

Time is a great healer.

[sgt.barney]

Mistakes You Made:

 

(0) You smoked.

 

 

Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

Don't make it out to be something it isn’t.

 

Keep it simple.

 

You smoked.

 

 

> Ambivalent about ticker.

 

Sarge refuses The Ticker. He counted by hand, every day, to force himself to think about it daily... up through day 400-something when it had long since no longer mattered. The only thing that matters is : do not smoke.

 

Ticker is uniportant.

 

Quit is ALL important.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Jenny]

Proud of you TEW for getting back on the train.  You know what you need to do and we'll be here for you whenever you need.  xx