A tale of two husbands...which will you be?

[Nancy]

Doreen and I were talking, and realized our husbands are the same age, 66.  That is about the only thing they have in common.  I am going to tell you first about my husband, Dennis, and then Doreen will be along to tell you about Tony. Hopefully there are smokers who will read this who still have the opportunity to choose which husband and father they would like to be.

 

Dennis is a never smoker.  At 66, he still works 40 hours a week.  He enjoys golf, and boating.  He maintains our home and houseboat.  As many of you know, this past year he and his 70 year old brother totally remodeled the upstairs of our home. They took the kitchen down to the studs and rebuilt (and Dennis was still working 40 hours each week).  Dennis recently walked his oldest daughter down the aisle with pride.  He loves life and has a wonderful laugh.  He takes medicine to control blood pressure and cholesterol, but is in great health otherwise.

 

 

 

 

Doreen will tell you about Tony, soon. 

[Doreensfree]

I carnt post pictures, but I'm sure Tony would not want you all to see how sick he looks...

Tony has end stage emphysema... He smoked until he physically couldn't put a cigarette in his mouth and smoke it..

It takes all the strength and breath he has ..to just get out of bed in the morning...with my help...

After a rest...he needs my help to wash...shave..

Chair lift gets him downstairs...gets settled in a chair..where he stays till we have a bedtime routine.

Emergency ambulances ,and hospital is never too far away...lung infections are almost on going..

Doctors fight to keep pneumonia at bay...

Because his blood doesn't retain oxygen...he needs a machine 16 hours a day....

Sleeping with the mask on and the machine going all night is only half of it...

Tony relies on me for everything...as sooon as he tries to move ...he is breathless...

I have watched him the last 14 years slowly get worse ,this is a very cruel illness.

I have shortened this thread...I could write a book...

Tony and I don't know just how bad this will get...we live our lives on a daily basis..

If you are out there reading this...wanting to quit...please do it now..

I thank Nancy ....brilliant idea..

[natalie_3]

This is very moving...thank you for sharing

-Nat

[bakon]

Now tell them about your boyfriends.....

[Nancy]

This is very moving...thank you for sharing

-Nat

 

Thanks, Natalie

Now tell them about your boyfriends.....

Everyone already knows all about you...

[sharonsiff]

Goodness me Doreen just goes to show doesn't it? I only hope those thinking of quitting read that, don't brush it off as 'well it won't happen to me' because as your poor Tony has sadly found, it could and does.

 

Thank goodness you stopped Doreen!

[Jenny]

This is a very powerful post.  Thank you both for sharing.  I pray the message in this post is taken to heart by all who continue to smoke.  This is reality folks.  Smoking doesn't help you with stress & it's not your friend.  Smoking only makes you sick and anything you tell yourself to the contrary is just the addict talking.

[PorkandPancakes]

Doreen and Namcy. Such a hard hitting post. Dorren, the sheer and utter madness of it is that even though he refused to quit smoking, eventually he couldn't physically smoke and he quit anyway! After all the pain and the hardship and suffering. Denial and refusal. The excuses and all that we all have done. He quit anyway. I wonder does he miss smoking or wish he quit earlier? Does he feel the same way you do now? I'm so very very sorry for your situation. For both of you. But for a strange day in October 2015, I could be Tony 30 years down the line. Any one of us could. I think I thought I might be. When I allow myself to dwell on the insanity of smoking, the industry, the lies, the excuses we allow purses to make....... It's so..........pointless. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you quit and have got healthier.

 

Nancy, I'm glad you were able to quit and join your husband in a shared future.

 

Thank you both for sharing your stories. X

[Doreensfree]

PP..when tony first had his diagnosis ....he was very much in denial....his head was firmly in the sand...

His addiction took away any fear of what this illness entailed...

He doesn't miss smoking now....he has more important things to think about....taking each breath....

Our Xmas was shared with a lung team ,that came to see him every day...to try and keep him home for Xmas...

I am so grateful ,relieved,happy....that I quit before the s***t hit the fan for me....I was so close....

Never stick anything in your mouth ....and set fire to it....

If anyone out there is reading this...that wants to quit....do it today....

For those who have already quit....never doubt ....never miss it....

Because your health is something you will miss more....if you lose it....trust me....I know..

[El Bandito]

Wow.

 

Beautifully done ladies.

 

My Dad was 59.

 

The operation on the aneurysm went well. 

 

Unfortunately smoking had reduced his lung capacity to the extent that they could not get him off the respirator. He caught an infection. 

 

He never woke up.

[Nancy]

Wow.

 

Beautifully done ladies.

 

My Dad was 59.

 

The operation on the aneurysm went well. 

 

Unfortunately smoking had reduced his lung capacity to the extent that they could not get him off the respirator. He caught an infection. 

 

He never woke up.

Tragic...I know it still hurts....thank you for sharing.

[Doreensfree]

So sad Stuart....so young....

I'm sorry...

[El Bandito]

Tragic...I know it still hurts....thank you for sharing.

 

 

So sad Stuart....so young....

I'm sorry...

 

 

Thank you ladies.

 

Just the way it is.

 

The cigarettes don't care how old you are, who you are or what you have done. They kill you just as dead.

 

Good news for anyone reading this is that you CAN quit. It is very doable.

[mfic]

wow- very powerful,,, 

 

I am sorry for you,, and I love you all, I done even need to see you,, That's just how it is-

 

I have lost people,,  and I have found you,,

 

for everything we get,,, we give up something,,,, I truly believe-

 

Thank you my quit train friends,,,,, for being,,

 

RC

[Doreensfree]

wow- very powerful,,, 

 

I am sorry for you,, and I love you all, I done even need to see you,, That's just how it is-

 

I have lost people,,  and I have found you,,

 

for everything we get,,, we give up something,,,, I truly believe-

 

Thank you my quit train friends,,,,, for being,,

 

RC

We love you too...and very happy you found us...

Thank you mfic...xxx

[Doreensfree]

A update on Tony,s condition...
He has spent the whole of February in hospital....and hopefully he will come home tomorrow...
One chest infection after another...
If he comes home...it will be with a team of carers,s...to wash ,dress,shave of a morning...
Tony is the youngest person they have to tend too....
Wheel chair bound...
Our grandson plays football,and rugby...he is 10 years old...
His grandad has never been able to have a kick about with him...always been too sick...
Don't ever question your quit...never romance the cigarette....
There is NO cure for C .O. P..D.....
Quitting may for some be uncomfortable for a while...but lung desease is far more uncomfortable..
Congrats to all here...xx 

[Still winning]

A update on Tony,s condition...

He has spent the whole of February in hospital....and hopefully he will come home tomorrow...

One chest infection after another...

If he comes home...it will be with a team of carers,s...to wash ,dress,shave of a morning...

Tony is the youngest person they have to tend too....

Wheel chair bound...

Our grandson plays football,and rugby...he is 10 years old...

His grandad has never been able to have a kick about with him...always been too sick...

Don't ever question your quit...never romance the cigarette....

There is NO cure for C .O. P..D.....

Quitting may for some be uncomfortable for a while...but lung desease is far more uncomfortable..

Congrats to all here...xx 

Wish I had something useful to say, I don't,  but I couldn't not say anything either. Sending all the love and healing that I can muster to you both. x

[Doreensfree]

No words needed....I know.....xx

[El Bandito]

Loads of Brackets D.

[I can do this]

Doreen-I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this terrible time.

 

Thank both you and Nancy for this post. I'm still early in my quit, which has been reeaaaalllllllyyyyyy difficult for me. I'm going through a stressful time and just tonight was thinking I wish I had just one. If I did, I could go outside, by myself and escape for a few minutes. But your tales have reminded me why I am working SO hard to stay quit. So, thank you for that. (And thankfully, all nicotine products have been removed from the house and I'm not craving enough to drive to the gas station because tonight could have easily turned into a slip for me).

 

Nancy- As a side note, where do you keep your houseboat? We have friends who have a houseboat on Norris Lake and it's one of our favorite places to visit.

[buMbLeB]

I'm also saddened and sorry for Doreen and her husband. But when I see replies like I can do this, above me, I'm thankful for her strength in posting this, because I know how much it will help people, even if most of them never tell us.

 

I can do this - you're doing amazingly! Whatever you're facing, face it down, and let your resolve grow even stronger. 

[Nicole Diver]

Thank you Nancy and Doreen for sharing.

Cigarettes killed many in my family. I thought they would end me too.

[Doreensfree]

Time for a update...for those sitting on the fence...for those struggling and romancing the smoke...

Those who know me well..know my story... If your new ...please take the time to read...it just might save your quit...

Ok

Tony went for his oxygen lever test today..to make sure the oxygen machines at home are set at the right setting..

This is a very painful thing to have done...the out a needle in your wrist just abokve the top side of your hand..

He cries out in pain...they take blood and test it...i find this hard enough to watch..i casn only imagine the pain involved..it turned out the 16 hours of oxygen on setting 4 is OK for now...

The carers still come in every day...but they have cut his showers down...as it totally takes his breath away ,and he struggles to breath...

He has been on two courses of antibiotics and steroids since the last couple of months..

This is why our daughter has travelled half around the world ...to nurse her dad ,while I had 5 days away...

This is what smoking does...

Please....don't smoke....

[Boo]

Doreen, that really drives the point home concerning the way cigarettes destroy our health.  I know it must be difficult, but thank you for sharing your story.

 

Best wishes to you, Tony, and your daughter.

[PorkandPancakes]

Oh Doreen. Your story breaks my heart. Such wasted opportunity. I'm sorry you and Your husband have to suffer through this.