Last night....

[PorkandPancakes]

Hi all. Quick story to tell. So, these last few days, smoking has been back in my mind. I don't know why. I guess it's part of the process. I've noticed though that for the first time since I quit, I've not been shutting down the thoughts as quickly. I've allowed them to linger. Last night was the other half's Christmas Dinner. Known to be drunken messy affairs! I spent a lot of the evening envying the smokers. I knew I didn't want it. I knew to take a puff would taste awful, feel awful, be awful but still I couldn't shake the thought. Around 1am (I can't really say what time as I was very drunk), I headed to the smokers and was about to ask for a cigarette. At this stage, a lady I kind of know through others approached me. Apparently a friend on Facebook had shared my recent update about quitting smoking and she was so inspired, she had the app and was going to try it. She was still smoking and told me how absolutely desperate she was to quit. We talked for twenty minutes about quitting and I encouraged her. I stood with her while she smoked and I didn't want one. She has no idea how she saved me! Later in the night, somewhere near 3am? We went to leave the party. Someone left their tobacco on the side and I rolled a cigarette, fully intending to take it home and smoke it before going to bed. I literally had the rolled cigarette in my pocket. I got home and said to my partner, shall we smoke these or go straight to bed? He said it was up to me. I decided I had made it through the night so we went to bed. I'm not sure how but I didn't smoke yesterday. And today I'm thankful. And will be reviewing the stuff I've learnt to strengthen my quit. Yesterday was too close. I don't even blame the alcohol because it's been building for days.

[Doreensfree]

So proud of you....thinking and acting..two different things...

Can you imagine how you would be feeling right now...if you had have smoked it...

You kept your previous quit...

You probably helped that person ,much more than you think....

They would love to be in your place...

Congrats PP...x

[sgt.barney]

Cut that shit out, right?

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[babs609]

i hope you tossed those cigarettes out

 

I did the same thing 12 years ago....and didn't smoke the cigarette that night.  Just like you I was proud of myself for not smoking, which is great.  But, I didn't throw the cigarette away.  I kept it. 

 

Well...lo and behold...3 weeks later...I smoked it.  Didn't quit again for almost a decade.

 

Stay close to the board and remind yourself why you are so glad to be free from that mental slavery

 

anything else..is all LIES

[El Bandito]

Romancing the Smoke + I quit once syndrome

 

P&P have a word with yourself. 

 

You did not envy those smokers. The brainwashing that you inflicted upon yourself as a smoker tried to convince you that you envied those smokers.

 

Cigarettes still taste like shit, make you stink, take over your life and then kill you. Dead.

 

You did great, now you must focus on shutting down those thoughts instantly, every time that they come back.

[Nancy]

Oh, so glad you did not give up your quit!  You would have hated yourself this morning, and reactivated all the cravings!

[buMbLeB]

On the one hand, I'm really proud of you! You didn't smoke, and at the end of the day that's all that matters. Congratulations on making it through.

 

On the other, I'm a little terrified for you, and I'm not using that word lightly. You've had a fairly (relatively) pleasant quit , but I think that can make it harder to maintain the mental focus as the weeks stretch into months, and it's easy to start getting seduced. And of course it's always easier to get seduced when you're drinking. I myself had "one of those nights" early on in my quit, and I actually wound up with a lit cigarette between my lips. But I  didn't inhale. Hammered as I was, something inside me stopped me at the last moment, and when I remembered the next day I was flooded with relief and gratitude. 

 

You should be too, and if you don't feel it, I'd like to suggest that you meditate on that awhile. Read what Babs wrote above, and imagine - another twelve years!! What if you only had 10 left?

 

You dodged a bullet.

[Sunnyside]

Pancake nice to see you post!

 

If I was you I would stay close to the forum for awhile as Bumble has said you have had a relatively easy quit by your administration and that can sometimes be more of a hindrance, I have seen many a person fall for the 'I can smoke tonight and quit again tomorrow.' Also please get rid of that cigarette it will be too tempting.

 

Saying all that, you have done amazingly well to get where you are, read scoke in the information here again. No good ever came from smoking and you will see that one day! Just keep going and think how much better thing's are for you now you have quit.

[bakon]

Window licker. Dumm thinking.

 

You are playing with fire and going to get burned.

 

Pull your head out of ass and smell the fresh air.

[Runfree]

Wow.  That was dancing with danger. 

 

What others have said.....it's a good time to stay close® to the board.

[Petra]

Hey Hot Cakes!!!

 

Way to go!!!   A few years ago Hubster and I went out to party.  I was pretty well into my quit and pretty buzzed.  I tried to bum a smoke off someone while Hub went to the Men's room.  The guy I tried to bum from was like, "this is my last one."  I was beyond feelings that night (embarrassed for asking, mad for being declined, sad that I was too old for the guy to care....). 

 

I was also so happy cuz I "failed" at smoking.  :) 

 

Whatever it takes! 

[Tink]

Ok so found your nemesis the booze! It was mine too, but now you know, you can do something about it in the cool sober light of day!

 

Old habits and the junkie mind is intense when drunk and where alot of people fall down, you were given a chance by meeting that lady(which wasn't by chance)

 

You are not just an inspiration to her but countless others you are unaware of!

 

Before a planned social event you must build up your resilience and have a party plan!

 

Go enjoy yourself but drink lots of water and stay the heck away from smokers!

 

In your pocket or handbag have some written down material that really resonates with you, maybe your own SOS response or something someone said that really helped you!

 

Be a Good girl guide and be prepared!

 

You were lucky this time x

[PorkandPancakes]

Hi guys. Thanks for all your posts. Apparently (I was so drunk I barely remember this) I insisted my other half immediately get rid of the cigarettes once the decision not to smoke them was made. I am very pleased I didn't smoke and very aware of the danger I was/am in. As I said, I had been having these thoughts over the last few days. What you have all said is true. My quit has been really easy up to now compared with other people. I haven't used the 'it's easy to quit I can do it again' excuse but that's mainly because I haven't even entertained the thought of 'starting' again. It's easy not to associate the 1 cig with all the ones that follow.

 

Anyway, I'm moving on and not dwelling. I didn't smoke. I always promised myself that if I ever managed to quit (cos this is my first real quit) I would NEVER EVER start again. I've always hated Social Smokers and people that started after years no smoking because I told myself if I ever got a quit, I'd never let it go. I promise you all, I'm holding onto this quit. I want this. I like not smoking. I'm not letting it go. I appreciate the tough talk and the nice talk but I'm the only one I've ever really listened to. So I'm soul searching. Reaffirming. Determined. Reminding myself of the actual horrors of being a slave to the nicotine. Plus, I have no more parties with smokers this side of the new year. Happy days.

[beacon]

I spent many many days talking myself out of smoking, thinking that I was missing out, and that to be free I had to smoke. I bet most do.  I am glad you survived this tough one. I used to think of this board or the other one when I was on the edge and it would give me comfort. If you are romancing, perhaps spend some extra time here or other boards or reading. 

[Still winning]

Wow, close call. Glad you've got your thinking clear that you need some re-evaluation time. It's so easy when that guard drops down with booze, my nemesis too and the reason I nearly lost this quit at 6 weeks. I'm glad you are self pep talking but get a wingman in place for parties would be my advice. x

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Hi Pancakes! Wow that was close. No way could I drink and maintain my quit. I don't drink....I gave up my right to drink or use other drugs because I got addicted and am now in recovery, clean and sober. Oh how I wish I could drink sometimes. Especially at get togethers. But I can't. I know I just can't, unless I want my life and health to fall apart. I'm trying to apply that same surety to smoking.

 

I guess the point of this post is to say that for me, drinking is very very dangerous because the desire to smoke becomes stronger and the strength to fight the desire wanes. Not telling anyone else what to do but for me, its very dangerous.