Nearly fell <ok jumped> off the train

[PorkandPancakes]

So, I went out with the other half last night as new non smokers. We had a wonderful time and all was going well except with every drink the urge to smoke got stronger and the strength to ignore it got weaker. By the time I got home, fairly drunk to be honest, I was ready for full blown tantrum. I created an argument with my poor unsuspecting man just to give me an excuse to reach for the tobacco that I still have locked away in a box. Then I had an even bigger tantrum because I couldn't smoke it, stomped around , kicked a couple of things and stomped off to bed. I was a total dickhead. Or window licker as Bacon might say. But I didn't smoke. I was an arsehole though and I feel terrible this morning. And hungover!

[Evelyn]

Asswhole, ok, dick too, you are no window licker as you DID NOT light but what lesson have you learned? No drinkin' for now

[PorkandPancakes]

Yup. No drinking. But does it ever get easier? Does it ever become 'normal' not to smoke? Will I ever be able to enjoy a night out without thinking of smoking? How long does it take to get there?!?!

[Runfree]

Yes it gets normal, 100% honest.  I don't drink often but I drank a LOT of wine on Saturday night and didn't think of a cig ONCE the whole evening.  Actually, it was late the next day when I realized it and the thought of having one in that hungover moment made me ill.  Reaffirmed my gratitude for my quit.

 

I had read about others drinking early in their quit and they threw away their quit or struggled like you.  I didn't want to chance it so I didn't drink a drop for a couple months, maybe longer.  

 

Be glad you didn't smoke.  Now go say your apologies to your sweetie, lol.

[Evelyn]

Well I rarely think of smoking. Even after my relapse 2 weeks ago, i had9 months. Got it. Just NOW I'm more aware of the monster lying in the grass. Will you get days you con't think of smoking YES, just keep an eye out for junkie thinking (which occurs easier when drinking)

[Doreensfree]

Oh yes the dreaded alcohol....many a great quit lost because of this....

It's always good to steer yourself away ,just till you get a stronger quit under your belt....

Does it get better....it sure does....one day at a time....

[PorkandPancakes]

I knew it would be danger zone but I just so hate that I can't control my own behaviour?! I mean, what's up with that?!

 

Runfree: even though I'm terrible at apologising, that is the first thing I did this morning. Several times. I actually feel awful for behaving that way. Stupid alcohol. Stupid smoking.

 

(Smaller font: stupid hangover!) :-)

[Runfree]

I just so hate that I can't control my own behaviour?! I mean, what's up with that?!

 

 

Umm.  You're an addict?  Addicts are erratic?  Especially when their fix is gone?  Pretty normal in my view. 

 

It gets better in time.  You can't rush it and dwelling on it does more harm than good.

[Sunnyside]

End of the day you don't smoke, I know it is horrible when we treat the people we love like that though.

 

Alcohol was a definite no no for me for about 6 weeks. When I did have my first drink I would stay in and have a drink until I felt more comfortable.

 

Now it honestly doesn't bother me, there isn't a association anymore between the two. It does happen.

[joe]

It's a great thing that you didn't smoke, but your still a window licker because you keep smokes around!!!..under lock and key?..why? For that weak moment?.. Sounds to me that you are setting yourself up for failure...get rid of ALL cigarettes!!! There is no need to keep any "emergency" stash around.... All that will do is provide access to smoking in a weak moment....flush them today...just throwing them away will have you digging through the garbage ( nice visual, huh?).... But it's true...flush them down and get rid of that temptation... You don't smoke any more...non smokers don't keep cigarettes around...also, as you noticed, there are times early in the quit that makes you weak...I.E...drinking....you may want to avoid those situations whenever possible until you have retrained your mind....you smoked most of your life, it takes more than a couple weeks to retrain yourself on how you will handle certain situations... I am approaching 2 years, and feel I have a good handle on it, but WILL NOT let my guard down... Quits are thrown away in weak moments.... I smoked over 35 years, and though I'm happy to have a couple years behind me, I still have not attain d my goal...my goal is to quit for today, I will work on tomorrow when it gets here....just 1 day at a time..... And no need to keep any around to "prove?" How strong I am....I am a nicotine addict, not really that strong...at least not strong enough to test it.......

 

Well done staying focused on your quit, but....GET RID OF ALL TEMPTATIONS!

[Kendra]

Nice that you are seeing what it will take to create the free life you are after.

 

Echoing Joe.... why on earth are you keeping a pack around?     That is a set up for slavery to nicotine again.

 

You have done it..... quit an addiction that has ruled your life for decades.   That is an accomplishment and how you want to be in the world.

 

Treating those we love poorly,    meh.    Forgiveness....   what a beautiful thing.

 

Being able to drink without a craving?   Well, my suggestion would be.....    PLAN WHAT YOU WILL DO over the upcoming holiday season of yuletide joy, drinking and partying  BEFORE you go.      you have seen and shared by your own word....

                     

                   with each drink your resolve became more of a challenge ....

 

    Please don't let alcohol take your quit.  

 

     Eventually, you will be able to drink without wanting to smoke.  

 

Great job at keeping quit.   Nice that your other half has quit too. 

[buMbLeB]

I agree with several above, keeping a lockbox of "emergency tobacco" is a disaster waiting to happen - there is no emergency that smoking will make better, and if you believe otherwise you're romancing the addiction. But then again I'm a hypocrite, and I still have my "last cigarette" that I never smoked, buried somewhere in a back closet. In fact, I also have my old pipe collection, though without any tobacco.

 

I think the difference is that I was never tempted by those things. I actually live around the corner from a 24 hour store and could get smokes anytime, so there's no avoiding it. I kept those things as trophies of my conquest. But if there's any part of you that wants to get in that box, you need to throw that box out.  Oh, and drinking without smoking ABSOLUTELY gets easier, and it's been a very long time since I've felt that association (and I drink frequently). But maybe it's better to stay in with the hubs and have a wine & movie night or two, and get that trigger dulled before heading out on the town where you're surrounded by temptation.

[PorkandPancakes]

Hi all. Thanks for your responses. I probably didn't explain myself very clearly. I don't have a lock box with an 'emergency' stash.

 

On the day I decided to quit, I didn't know I was quitting until I listened to the audio (on the app that I'm not pushing ;-) ) and at the end of listening he says, so now decide to quit which I did.

At a loss with what to do next, I grabbed a Tupperware tub and started collecting lighters, papers, filters and tobacco from all round the house and all my bags. I stuck everything in the box and put the box up high and crucially, that's where it stayed. I haven't been plagued by it. I haven't found myself looking at it or opening it. I guess I kept it at first because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't quite bring myself to throw it. Part of the philosophy behind the quitting app is that you CAN smoke whenever you want. I CHOOSE not to smoke. I literally could not quit using willpower alone if I had that internal battle going on where I want to smoke and still romanticise them. I am able to shut down any of those thoughts by accepting the disgusting truth about them and saying, I can smoke. I choose not to. Which is why having it around doesn't bother me and is pis dinky a good thing. Because I know I can if I want to. However, obviously drinking wasn't a great idea. Interestingly though, I never rolled a cigarette. I never even opened the packet. I took the lid off the box. Then I shut it again and put the box away.

 

Still, I tha you all for your words of advice, support and encouragement. It's good to hear I'll break down the associations over time. And it's time to exercise caution with drinking!

[PorkandPancakes]

Pis dinky?! Wth? Lol, that should be 'possibly'

[bakon]

I can't add the above advice. You can lead a human to knowledge but you can't fix stupid.

 

On to another note. Your a chick, right? Chicks are bitches not dicks. Also chicks can't have pork in their name. Only sweet things. Men get the meat. No dangler then remove pork. You can keep pancake but suggest you add hot in front for joe's fantasy

[PorkandPancakes]

See now Bakon, why you gotta be a dick too? I'm a chick but I'm keeping pork cos I like the name. You told me to change it so I did. And thanks for not adding to the advice above. 9 days and counting. ;-)

[El Bandito]

Hey Pork /sweetmeats

 

Well done for not smoking. Get rid of the poisons. You don't need them any more.

 

Tantrum. Think of it as a pressure release therapy. Booze, yeah, be careful. But it does get easier. I just went away to old friends on a major drinking weekend. Perfect relapse opportunity. Got offered smokes lots of times. I had no interest whatsoever. You will get there, same way I did. One day at a time.

 

Great work on 9 days!

[Still winning]

Late to the party but wanted to salute you.

 

I once read a piece of solid advice (after being a proper div drunk) which said. Tell those you like in a moment of sanity that you love and respect them and to give you some leeway for a while. Solid advice! 

 

Drinking shouldn't be an issue but let's be straight, anything that lowers inhibitions can be a problem in the early days. Ex english landlady of pubs here, I liked a wine or 5 in an evening and I really had to tone down too as my quit became risked on more than one occassion and it simply isn't worth it in my honest opinion. I spent many nights taking an early night - not because I was tired but simply to hide out in my blanket fort, poking my eyes over the top of the covers wondering when it would be safe to be in the real world. I can tell you by month 3 I was at the pub with smokers and feeling sorry for them having to smoke. Like damn, didn't that table turn pretty quick considering I smoked for eons!

 

Tell your old man you're bringing crazy back as a trend for a while, that you love him and you are embarking on a big old journey that needs support. Do what you will with the box of tricks, some kept them, most ditched them. For sure I had one time if I could of found something I would have smoked (drunk, argument, dumb times), was pleased nothing was there! 

 

Bumped the executive assistant post for you to have a read of in the smoking discussions. it says more than I ever could :)

 

Exactly where you should be though, name an all :) Doing great!! x

[Petra]

Read some but not all replies, but probably mostly agree with the others.

 

First - drinking and smoking went together.  Know that if you have even one when out drinking (or even not drinking) some random night, you will be back to smoking - maybe not the very next day, but the seed will be re-planted, and you will go back to smoking.   I know from experience. 

 

I also know from experience, that we can go out drinking and still make the choice not to smoke - even when we think we are too inebriated to choose.  Unless we've been slipped a ruffie or something, we can still make a choice.   

 

I have drank and ruined a perfectly awesome quit. 

 

I have drank and kept a perfectly awesome quit. 

 

Choose to not smoke.  You may wake up hungover, but at least it won't be a smoke hangover too (the WORST!).

 

Don't let drinking be an excuse!

 

Second - get rid of that stash.  You don't need it.  If you opened it, you know it is there.  Don't make it an unnecessary temptation.   

 

That's my 2 cents. :)

 

Party On! :)

[bakon]

Translation of  Petra

I don't have time to read all the bs above....

I have drank and come home with my clothes...

and I have drank and woke up in the nude...

 

I like to drink

[HighPanda]

 

I agree with several above, keeping a lockbox of "emergency tobacco" is a disaster waiting to happen - there is no emergency that smoking will make better, and if you believe otherwise you're romancing the addiction. But then again I'm a hypocrite, and I still have my "last cigarette" that I never smoked, buried somewhere in a back closet. In fact, I also have my old glass pipe collection from the herb tools bong shop, though without any tobacco.

 

I think the difference is that I was never tempted by those things. I actually live around the corner from a 24 hour store and could get smokes anytime, so there's no avoiding it. I kept those things as trophies of my conquest. But if there's any part of you that wants to get in that box, you need to throw that box out.  Oh, and drinking without smoking ABSOLUTELY gets easier, and it's been a very long time since I've felt that association (and I drink frequently). But maybe it's better to stay in with the hubs and have a wine & movie night or two, and get that trigger dulled before heading out on the town where you're surrounded by temptation.

I agree, if you are quitting then you get rid of it all. There are no half measures, if you keep hold of some then you have not quit, you have actually failed before you even started!

[PorkandPancakes]

Wow this is an old post from my first fortnight of quitting. Funnily enough, I still have that box of tobacco though it is completely worthless now. I think it connects back to my Dad. He quit around 18 years ago and he kept a pack taped up in his car. Said he kept them so he knew they were there if he needed them. Like, take away the panic and fear of not having them and then you can concentrate on quitting. I don't know if that's right but it's what we both did.

 

I always believed having the tobacco right there was irrelevant as many many people that quit are surrounded by smokes and smokers. It's about mindset and attitude. That said, I believe there was another alcohol heavy evening with a nearly blown quit before I managed to drink safely without smoking.

 

Looking back at that night I remember the desire to be quit being stronger than the need to smoke for possibly the first time ever in my life. That was possibly one of the defining moments in my quit. I drank and I didn't smoke. Not because I had no way of doing it but because I chose not to (course, I acted like an ass too but still!)

 

It's good to look back sometimes, to see how far you've come!

[Doreensfree]

Many roads lead to Rome...

You found yours PP...and I'm so happy you did...you've got this ...xxxx

[PorkandPancakes]

Many roads lead to Rome...

You found yours PP...and I'm so happy you did...you've got this ...xxxx

Indeed they do Doreen. I didn't even know that's where I was headed until I was. And I'm extremely happy about it.

[Sazerac]

This scared me for a minute !

You have a stellar attitude, Pork 'n Cakes

and such a Beautiful Quit going on !

Congratulations on every minute of it.