my biological mother....

[cheri]

found me...again.

I am NOT okay with this.

not now.

can someone, some thing..make all this weird shit stop now please?

 

I really cant do this.

 

She was and is the root of all my issues. Shes been dead to me for years.

 

Though its my own mother...

I DONT WANT THIS.

 

 

[cheri]

she was abusive. vacant. horrible. even my therapist says "you really cant remember a single good thing"? NO. really. I cant. not one holiday. not one school day. there is nothing good.

i remember being beaten. threatened. hurt on her command by her boyfriends.

ive been on my own since i was 14.

i fought to become an emancipated minor then. i won.

ive burned all my past. prayed. meditated.

i thought this was done.

good lord.

and yall wonder why i say **** so much.

 

now that im older, and she may be sick? how do you tell your own mother to fuckoff again?

 

MAKE THIS STOP.

[Frezflops]

If she tries to contact tell her you want nothing to do with her you owe her no explanation. ...sorry you gotta deal with that crap.....she is not worth your time or energy or spot in your brain kick her the f outta there.....

[cheri]

contact me? shes on my sofa. in the house. alexa doesnt even know her.

this weekend will be lovely.i tucked her in.

shes in the house. not the condo.she can wake up with him.

sighs.

id like one motherfuckingday without something.

[bakon]

Call the po po

[cheri]

just one

goddamn day.

[cheri]

popo means alex sees it. ALL.i wont, i need to just move.

[Ramona]

As one of the residents where I work says, "if you see a b*tch, slap a b*tch."

[cheri]

Well...im okay.

I had to go back to my house...(not the condo)

Fought with hubs. I will never understand why he allowed her into the house.

 

Called the police.

 

Mother is in jail for the night, at least, as she was completely drunk so they gave her a public intoxication siting.

Alexa is with a friend, she has no idea what just happened.

 

I am going to bed. WTF.

 

Anyone know of a good quiet place in..I dont know..Cali? 

[sgt.barney]

Where Sarge lives, it's called a CPO - Civil Protection Order. Commonly called a "Restraining Order".

 

Run your hiney down to the courthouse and file for one. A 5 minute hearing with a judge/magistrate/whatever and then, when she violates it ... Jail time. Minumum 6 months here. Your mileage may vary.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[bakon]

Our is PFA. Protection from abuse order. 1 week and a hearing three months to two years after that

[Dave]

I have read a couple of your posts over the past few months. I sure hope you find some comfort soon.

I don't know how you function properly.

[Still winning]

Awww sweetheart, this is just not the time. Get a restraining order!!

 

Also, I'm gonna say this mum (mom?) to mum - if you are anything like me and your daughter is anything like mine - they know enough, they just want their mother to be ok. Do what makes you feel the most ok and Alex will be solid. No over thinking. It's ok to take a day or two to wallow, a "why me" moment and then bootstraps time girl! If what you need is her gone, get her gone.

 

Much love. x

[cheri]

Thanks all, so much for listening to my craziness...i will be filing a restraining order as soon as i can this week. The arresting officer also encouraged that. 

None of us have yet to get any explanation as to why she decided to do this now. i really dont care. Too little, too late. It just completely ****** me up though. 

 

Let me tellya, i have never spent so much time in police stations, funeral homes, or courthouses as i have this year. 

UNfuckingbelievable.

 

I slept most of the day away yesterday, i was completely exhausted, physically and emotionally. i told alex what had happened, as i couldnt hide that much from her. I do try to shelter her from icky things pertaining to my life. No need for stress on her end. She amazes me sometimes. She just said, awwh mommy..im glad you arent like her. You never upset me like that. You never would. Youre my best friend. I dont have to call her gramma, do I? hahahah...

Best thing i ever coulda heard. 

 

On a good (ish?) note? Hubs decided after watching all of this play out, he will go into outpatient treatment, and has been apologizing profusely. His insurance covers most of it.

Though i am NOT withdrawing the divorce procedure, nor moving back into the house ( Im committed to a 6mo lease purposely)..that is a nice thing to see/hear, if he follows through. Well see what happens there. Im not closed off to anything at this point. LOL! how could i ?

 

Its weird how when youre trying to make yourself better, inside, outside..everywhere...life throws ****** up shit at you. I guess its just a test to see if youre really committed. 

 

-or going to BE committed. :D

[cheri]

I have read a couple of your posts over the past few months. I sure hope you find some comfort soon.

I don't know how you function properly.

 

I dont have a choice. I know no other way to be, but dead.

Im not ready for that yet.

[cheri]

ps...welcome! nice to meetcha.

[cheri]

As one of the residents where I work says, "if you see a b*tch, slap a b*tch."

 

As much as i would like to do so, id rather keep her dead. she doesnt even deserve that sort of reaction from me.

Stepping into my home was enough of a shock...the last of one shell ever see. 

[Kendra]

so glad you and Alexa have a safe place to BE together.

 

 

           bizarreness abounds....glad you are seeking support and that people are considering changes of their own that may improve relationships in the future.

 

 

thanks for posting.

[cheri]

hes filing for custody.

THIS is amusing.

[Still winning]

What, of Alex??