Rage, Hysteria, Grotesque Inequality, Bullshit, World Banks, Overpopulation, Wage Stagnation, Cost of Living Skyrocketing, Childhood Suicide

[Ramona]

I'm gonna smoke.

I can't take this shit.

I'm a ******* hysterical mess.

So much more emotional than I've ever been.

So sick of taking things personally.

Want to re-thicken my skin...cloud over all this idiocy (including my own).

[Ramona]

And nobody in life cares about anyone else's quit goals.

Why would they?

All they see is the newfound psycho-ness of the person who used to smoke.

I'M TIRED OF CRYING AND FREAKING OUT.

[beacon]

 

The news does seem very bad lately but really, smoking is going to help? You are going to smoke after almost a year of being free? No. What are you doing to calm the anxiety?  I recently took up meditation.  I am doing Transendental Meditation which I  do 20 minutes twice daily.

[beacon]

And nobody in life cares about anyone else's quit goals.

Why would they?

All they see is the newfound psycho-ness of the person who used to smoke.

I'M TIRED OF CRYING AND FREAKING OUT.

 I know what you mean.  I think I am changed now that I am a nonsmoker. More serious.  I have made some major changes since I quit in my life.  But what can you do that is healthy to deal with these feelings?

 

[Ramona]

What am I doing you ask?

 

~ individual therapy

~ healthy eating

~ group therapy

~ taking meds

~ daily exercise

~ praying

 

I think that pretty much exhausts my options.

[beacon]

That sounds like a lot! Did you feel less anxious as a smoker?

[Ramona]

Yes.  Much less insane, sensitive, touchy, extreme, and explosive.

[beacon]

For me some of it has to do with hormones and my age.  I chose to quit smoking at the same time I started to go through the mid life change.  Yesterday at the pet supply store they had alot of dogs up for adoption and I almost cried hysterically in the store for all of the animals.  However, I am going to learn to deal with all of this emotion and not go back to smaking because it will kill me. My mom has lung cancer now

 

[beacon]

Some people just feel more I think. 

 

[Ramona]

Some people just feel more I think. 

 

Indeed.

[beacon]

 

I would like to celebrate with you your  one year quit here in less than a month.  Agreed?  By the way, I do remember it being a little tough at 11 months for no reason I could think of

[joe]

I didn't read everything, so I hope I done say the wrong thing, but it sounds like you are more aware and in touch with what's going on around you.... So....THATS why you want to smoke again!? .. Smoking or not, I learned long ago not to worry about what I CANT change...instead enjoy the things I can do to make me a happier person....

 

I seriously hope you rethink things before doing anything drastic.... I'm approaching 2 yeRs quit, and would never add my deteriorating health to the list of things I can't change just because I threw away a perfectly good quit...

 

Also, another example....my wife has never smoked, and she lives in the same world I do and she is able to cope....

 

Please, take a de breath and see just where you are and what you can do to make it better....

 

Don't become just another statistic like the ones you mentioned....

[Sunnyside]

life can be pretty shit at times but don't give up your quit for anyone, this is your quit no-one else's. If you quit your quit those people that are pissing you off won't care but you will. You may not care the first couple but by the time you get to three, you will regret it.

 

Get angry with these people but if you smoke all you will be doing is spiting yourself.
Maybe you have been romancing a cigarette again, it isn't what is in your head and if you did it would end up like this:

 

 

So let's visualize this. You go to the shops and buy a pack. Your heart starts to pound faster, you are starting to feel a buzz, because you know this is wrong. You go somewhere you know or hope you don't see anyone that you know, as before you even open the pack you know how disappointed people who know you are going to be. Does that stop you? NO! You are in the zone now, your brain has a thought in it head that this cigarette is going to be lovely, it is going to satisfy your need, you are going to feel so much better after it. You have found your spot, you open the pack. Your heartbeat beats even faster as the anticipation hit fever pitch. You unwrap the packaging and take out the cigarette, and light it, as you start smoking it you start to get that buzz in your head, it feels like the first time you smoked, you have a warm feeling again, like you belong. You put that cigarette out and feel like another one, so you do it. It is ok, you can have a couple and then throw the pack away. The hit isn't so nice this time but it's ok. You put that out and soon again you want another one. In your mind now is I will just finish this pack and quit again tomorrow! You start to realize and remember why you had quit in the first place. The realization of what you have done starts to creep in. Tomorrow comes and you don't feel ready, maybe in a weeks time, that moment comes around and then it's some other reason. You smoke for months or even years until you have the strength to try again. You look back at that day! That day that you had managed nearly a whole year with envy and wish you had never had that 'One cigarette'.

[bakon]

Puff away from a pack a day

 

 

Read your list of activities but didn't see sexercise. Maybe you need laid? That stuff is serious and can have a positive changes in your outlook

[Runfree]

TEW,

 

I agree there's a lot of ugly things happening in our world.  And to add insult to injury, the media seems to take glee in capturing the most heinous and RARELY exposing the good that is happening in our world.  I too get anxious if I see too much of it.  That's when I know it's time to unplug and get outside and into nature.  Like Joe mentioned above, we can only do what we can do.  If we put out goodness, it will counter the negative.

 

Like you said to Evelyn...you're important. Don't allow the ills of the world to drive you toward personal harm.  

[sgt.barney]

Go ahead on and have that lung cancer. You've earned it! Have a heaping helping of emphysema on the side, too! Maybe a heart attack for dessert if you're still craving, right?

 

You poor, poor thing. A cigarette is sure to fix all that ails you.

 

All that suffering and whatnot...

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Still winning]

Being more emotional isn't a bad thing! Good, I for one think the world needs more emotional and awake people who aren't constantly hiding under something. This is a good thing, you will find a new normal, no one said it would only be 11 months?  Give the freedom some tie to get comfy. Smoking doesn't change a damn thing...we grow at the rate we are supposed to at the exact time we are meant to. Much love, cause some days really suck, but smoking isn't the answer chick. It never was. xx

[cheri]

PLEASE say you pushed through this.

Life can be super hard sometimes, believe me, I know all about that.

 

Hurting yourself isn't an option now. That really is all youll accomplish if you smoke now, after all this time..

 

Its okay to cry. Personally I find mascara stained faces sorta sexy.

 

Bakon is right too...sex is good for stress.

Even if its alone.

Im no stranger to carpal tunnel in my fingers. 

 

If you ever need an ear, feel free to reach out here.

If nothing else, Ill make you laugh. Im good at that.

[action]

How are you doing? Hoping you made the right choice and are still free.

[Doreensfree]

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling over whelmed ...

The world has it problems I agree...and wish bad stuff didn't happen....

All each of us can do is live in our little corner of it...the very best we can....

Smoking has ruined our lives...ruined our health ,ruined our retirement days...

The only thing you can control is yourself....

Keep your precious quit...killing yourself with a smoking related illness won't change the world..just yours...

[Jenny]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way TEW.  Please don't smoke and throw all your hard work away. It's the addiction talking telling you that there is relief in a cigarette....but there isn't.  Sadly, with or without smoking life is hard at times.  I'm so sorry it's so hard on you right now.  Please don't smoke.  Play the numbers game instead.

[DCCXXVII]

((TEW))... that's it sweetie let it all out... hang in there your coming close to your 1 year anniversary and that itself will prove to be one of your greatest achievements in life crossing that line... stand tall and be proud girl!

 

TEW doesn't smoke anymore  :yes:

[Ramona]

So much good advice here.  Didn't smoke.

 

Sarge, you piss me off but you also motivate me (DESPITE OBNOXIOUS MOTTOS LIKE "EASY PEASY").  So "f-u" and "thank you" (leaning heavy on the former in this case).

 

SunnySide - you're right...soon as I puff, I belong.  I belong to AA again - I belong to the "**** you" crew - to the self-harm - to the "I-can-go-it-alone" mindset - - the nicotine, white-wash, hazy-smoke.  Three cheers for death death death!!!!!  la-la-la.  By golly, gee willikers, smoking would make me AMERICAN again.

 

In light of today's "Happy Genocidal Maniac Day" - - - - - - I'd rather not be nicotine's bitch.  I'm a whitey but I'm not American (even if I live inside the lines).  I got the curse of both parties any way.  That being said, curse or no curse, I do here declare: if Bernie Sanders becomes our democratic candidate for president then I will break my 6 years sobriety and indulge in some cheap Canadian Whiskey.  Figure I'll be uplifted by that.

 

Marti - thanks for validation.  We're taught to fear our feelings & expressions of despair.  Repress at all costs.  Of course we are.  Power structures rely on repression.

 

Welp.  I howled through this day - HOWLED.  This is not an exaggeration.  I think tears are probably good for our complexions.  After sitting through about 45 minutes of my howling despair, my 87 year old grandma said, "I don't cry.  Is there something wrong with me?"  That gave me a laugh. 

 

She never smoked a day in her life.

[Evelyn]

Don't light that one, You are so gonna regret it, I'm a psyckodippletcrisis now and smoking did nothing. I am quiting today. with panick attaks shit and crsis team on my heels. Sorry you're so feeling bad but it WILL DO NOTHING then MORE crap. We all deserve better

[Evelyn]

Sorry i was late but so glad you didn't puff