I may need a spanking.

[cheri]

SMIRKS

 

How much trouble can one person get into in an hour and a half?

A lot, with the right company.

I've been a naughty, naughty girl. :D I may need a spanking. 

 

My sister has decided she wants to take Alex for a week. 

She says I need to go be me for a little while. Im lucky to have her.

Alex hasnt looked so relieved/relaxed in over a year, as she has since we moved. I have no doubt I made the right decision. Though she loves her father, and we would both (alex and i) LIKE to make things better, we cant. This is his choice, I think staying would have just been emotional suicide for both of us. I cant do that to my 15 year old. Especially as he is out this very second.

 

I hate cellphones and video/pictures/text shares at any given moment. You dont even get the opportunity to deny what it looks like.

Though, I am pretty sure you cant say.."this isnt what you think"..as youre snorting coke off the toilet.

 

I am off to a great start.

Filing for divorce next week.

I thought about smoking.

 

I almost bought a pack. Just for the sole and simple reason of "**** this Im going to be me too..he is doing it"

Memories. Back stepping.

But thats not me now.

 

I am no longer an addict, or dependent upon anything or anyone.

 

Hard indeed. But grateful every day that I wake up, stronger.

 

*the cheri diaries on quitrain* <---LOL! yikes.

 

 

[Ramona]

You gotta prove you can do this.

[Still winning]

You wouldn't be human if in a moment of intensity your thoughts didn't waver a little to f it, I could smoke. Your quit will face down many "old habits" before it closes down, but there is nothing that can hurt you in a thought. I'm pleased you closed it down.

 

For the man and daughter stuff, sending strength to you. Also a troublesome journey and one which your strength will guide you through. I wish you good and healthy gut instincts to help your inner strength.

 

x

[action]

Hi Ceri, don't let anything he does affect your quit... Let him be him, and you be you, and you don't smoke! You are doing great :)

[Kendra]

so glad you are seeing the life you desire living unfold and that you remain free. 

 

 

What'll you do for the week?

[cheri]

Thanks all.

Kendra, Ill be working all but Wednesday. Thankfully its busier than it has been so Ill be distracted as opposed to the recent idle that has been.

I dont do well idle.

Meeting with lawyer then.

Pretty sure Ill be on here at some point after. Signing contracts makes me VERY nervous.

 

I really am hating whats going on now, but...Ill get through it. I always do.

Not looking forward to any of this.

 

All he had to do was not be a dick. Not shove coke up his nose again. Check into a program. Show he gave a **** some how.

Be a ******* man.

Why was that so hard?

 

Oh right.

Addiction.

Silly me.