##New game## ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Mac#23]

Keep your tongue out of the way

 

Do you think dogs care that their tail and ears are surgically altered?

[jillar]

Not if they have low self-esteem issues

 

My cat keeps staring at me and it's not even dinnertime yet, how do I tell what she wants?

[Mac#23]

Ask him

 

Why do cats always look like they don't give a shit about anything?

[jillar]

Clearly you're not a cat owner because my cat stares me down for breakfast, dinner and late night snacks!

 

What's the recipe for water?

 

[Mac#23]

Step 1. Walk to the sink

Step 2. Turn on the faucet

 

Is it better to filter your water or just drink from the tap?

[jillar]

It might be better to filter it but it's a pain in the ass to try to aim it into a glass and hold a filter at the same time

 

What drinks do I need to learn how to make in order to pass the bar exam?

[Mac#23]

All the ones people ask for

 

Why are ice cubes called rocks?

[jillar]

Have someone throw a few at you and you'll find out why

 

If I put my hair in a bun how the heck am I supposed to eat it?

[Mac#23]

Which one, the hair or the bun

 

Why is money called bread?

 

[jillar]

Because you go through it so quickly

 

Can I reduce my carbon footprint by wearing smaller shoes?

[Mac#23]

That depends, are they carbonless shoes

 

Does anyone ever answer a message in a bottle?

Edited October 9, 2020 by Mac#23

[Angeleek]

Only if the bottle contains a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

 

Who was it that said, "There are no stupid questions?"

 

[Mac#23]

The guy who knew all the stupid answers

 

Is it a golf shirt or a polo shirt?

Edited October 9, 2020 by Mac#23

[jillar]

Depends on which sport you're playing

 

If I pet my cat four times how many times do I have to pet my dog so she won't get jealous?

[Mac#23]

It depends, is the cat watching

 

How come flower bulbs don't light up like light bulbs?

[jillar]

They do you just can't see them because they're all underground

 

If I run out of stupid questions do I have to quit playing this game?

[Mac#23]

Does anyone ever run out of stupid questions

 

Why do people rebuild homes in Tornado Alley?

[jillar]

For the excitement of it

 

If fake grass is supposed to look like real grass then why don't they put a few fake weeds in it?

[Mac#23]

Then you have to buy some fake weed killer

 

Why are fire hydrants also called fire plugs?

[jillar]

They're not

 

I bought a can of chili because it said it makes a great topping on dogs but my dog keeps running away so what am I doing wrong?

[Mac#23]

Get him when he sleeps

 

Why isn't catnip a controlled substance?

[jillar]

Because it's a weed and everyone knows you can't control weeds

 

If there's no such thing as a stupid question then how are we able to play this game?

[Mac#23]

Maybe we change the game to " ask a ridiculous question get a ridiculous answer"

 

Do you think that musical electric chairs will be a fun new game?

[jillar]

Maybe for those on death row

 

How come vanilla beans are brown but vanilla ice cream is cream color?

[Mac#23]

Duh... Cream is cream colored

 

What's the difference between a coat and a jacket?