##New game## ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[jillar]

Because the damn leprechauns don't want to share their gold! I've never been able to find it either but someday......

 

Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

Edited November 11, 2018 by jillar

[notsmokinjo]

Nope cos he's already silent.

 

Why do they smash a bottle of champers over the bow of a new boat?

[Wee fluffy me]

Cos smashing the queens face over it would be seen as treason...

 

 

Why do windows get sooooooo dirty when they don't even move...?

[notsmokinjo]

the wind.

 

How come if the eyes are the windos to the soul we can't open them up to air it out?

[jillar]

You can't open your eyes?

 

Is telling someone 'just out of curiosity' the same as just being nosy?

[despair not]

Mind your own business.

 

How does santa manage to deliver so many presents around the world in one night.

 

 

[Reciprocity]

Time Zones  

How does Santa land his sleigh on rooftops in places that have never seen snow?

[jillar]

With reindeer poop

 

How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

[notsmokinjo]

The force they use.

 

How can the sky be grey, the rain be bucketing and the temp be frickin hot?

[jillar]

Welcome to planet earth

 

Which is the other side of the street?

[Reciprocity]

The one across from where you are.

 

How many pecks in a bushel?

[jillar]

Only one peck(er) in my bush(el)

 

If humans have nightmares what do horses have?

[Reciprocity]

Ladies night out.

 

Why do cats just nap?

[jillar]

Ok, you just keep believing that......

 

What's a cold bug look like?

[despair not]

I think they are blue and wear scarfs and thermals.

 

Why is Christmas day on the 25th again this year ? 

 

Edited December 15, 2018 by despair not

[notsmokinjo]

Because I have to go to the cricket on 26th.

 

Can Southampton make a comeback and win the Cup?

[jillar]

The only cup they're going to win is a cup of soup

 

Why is money called bread?

[Reciprocity]

Because you can buy food with it.

 

Why are they called jelly fish when they aren't really fish?

[notsmokinjo]

The same reason seahorses are called sea horses when they are not really horses, people call things weird shit.

 

Why is a house fly smaller than a horse fly?

 

[Reciprocity]

Because they come from toy doll houses.

 

How can something be Bittersweet? 

 

[jillar]

By mixing bitter with sweet

 

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

[beazel]

He has a hover board.

 

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

[jillar]

So the cats won't get lazy and stop chasing them (hi beazel )

 

When someone gives me their two cents worth when do I get paid?

 

 

[beazel]

Check is in the mail....

 

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

[jillar]

Can women ever keep their mouths closed?

 

Why isn't phonics spelled the way it sounds?