##New game## ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[jillar]

I don't know why she swallowed that fly, maybe she'll die

 

If space is a vacuum who changes the bag?

 

 

 

 

[Sslip]

Sandra, well that's the name of my cleaning lady anyway

 

If you have a brush with death, who gets to keep the brush, you or death?

[jillar]

I would certainly hope that I get to keep the brush!

 

What is a training bra trying to learn?

[Sslip]

Tango, well it does take two. 

 

Why do they call it a credit card when it's made of plastic? 

[notsmokinjo]

Because being called plastic hurts its feelings.

 

Why do they call it shop lifting when they don't lift the shop?

[Wee fluffy me]

Because the shop loses a few pounds, feels lighter so it's spirit has been lifted ?

 

 

 

Why is a watch called a watch when it doesnt watch me?

[notsmokinjo]

Cos calling it a "sit there an slowly change" didn't rhyme with swotch..

 

Why is gold worth more than silver when silver is prettier

[Wee fluffy me]

Because yellow is always mellow...

 

 

Why is it when you close one door another always opens

[notsmokinjo]

Cos you don't want to stay in one place too long, people will start hanging shit on you.

 

Why is it called a clock when none of them have ever jumped of a wall and clocked me?

[Wee fluffy me]

Cos they have clocked the size of you when passing and said oh f**k that I'm no clocking her...

 

 

When does the willow whisp?

 

 

 

[jillar]

Right after it weeps

 

Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?

[Sslip]

Nobody's perfect

 

If you adopt an elephant can you occassionally have it sit on your lap?

[jillar]

You can but jo might get a little jealous

 

If a table has legs what keeps it from walking away?

[Sslip]

It's got obvious wood so doesn't want to embarass itself

 

What would you do if the shoe was on the other foot?

[jillar]

Buy bandaids for the blisters it would cause

 

Should sad people be banned from merry go rounds?

[Sslip]

In the same way squares should be!

 

Can you handle it?

[jillar]

Yes

 

Can it handle me?

[Sslip]

You're too hot and fiery for it to stand a chance!

 

How hot is it in the city?

[jillar]

It depends on how close you are to the city center. Or you could just ask Nick Gilder.

 

Who came up with the word pee to describe urinating?

[Sslip]

Pope Innocent XI. He was the first pope ever to urinate and thought the word piss too common.

 

Is asking for a Pooh bear a recipe for disaster?

[jillar]

Only if you're out of toilet paper

 

Is a zebra white with black stripes or black with white stripes?

[notsmokinjo]

Before embryonic genetic research it was believed they were white with black stripes but new wizz bang science has prooved they are black with white stripes and bellies... although all they had to do was listen to my nephew who told the whole tour bus at full volume... "Look Aunty Jo... zebras really are black with white stripes cos that ones got a full on stiffy and its real black... how come my dlcks not that long it huge as"

 

If a kids parent is me, is a PG rating ever appropriate?

Edited April 6, 2018 by notsmokinjo
oops... put in a family nickname... and changed it back to the safer option

[jillar]

It's not only appropriate it's preferable 

 

Do smartphones have college degrees?

[Wee fluffy me]

Not sure but if so my smart phone must have bombed big time..

 

 

Why is it a throw called a throw when you sit on it ?

[jillar]

Because you throw your ass on it?

 

How come my house won't vacuum itself?