Not smoking made me a lunatic.

[cheri]

I've been in some intensive therapy for maybe a little over a month, 2 hours a session, 2x a week. (Some really serious shit goin on in a short period of time).  Not the first time, but the first I have actually stayed with it because...well I'm out in left field lately sometimes. WAYYY out. Like across the street from the ballfield, in the next town over ...out there. I know you didn't notice.

 

It adds to my charm and extraordinary good looks, if you ask me.

 

I can't even begin to tell you all the stuff that has resurfaced.. and I'll spare you all that today.

 

This is NOT due to not smoking...lol...but I like to use that as an excuse. 

Not smoking has made me a freaking lunatic I say.

In all actuality, I feel calmer.

WAIT? WHAT? LOL!! THIS IS CALMER? hahahhahahahhaha. *facepalm*

 

My therapist laughed at me today, and asked me how I made it this far in life? :D

I really like her.

 

After being diagnosed with depression, anxiety and then today..the great possibility of PTSD, she said she believes we can work through all this icky stuff because I am willing to talk about everything and anything, and I don't even seem to know how to hold back. I shouldn't need any more medication. 

I said great, because this zoloft sucks when you snort it. 

 

Holy bonkers Batman.

 

I hope I get through all this soon, because sometimes I feel very vulnerable. Which isn't like me at all. 

Or maybe it is? Was and I just never knew it?

 

Yikes.

Maybe I'll find out why I ever smoked in the first place? 

 

 

[Ramona]

Wait.  Are you smoking or not?

[El Bandito]

Hey Cheri

 

Sounds like a whole lot of stuff going on. You are taking it on, well done you.

 

I'm sure eliminating all the toxins in cigarettes will help that process. Certainly I found my moods and emotions went a bit haywire for a while when I quit.

[Still winning]

I love the straight talking style and I think your therapist is right, you'll be ok.  Really well done on making sure your quit is secure amoung all the turbulence you are clearly facing. 

 

The thing is, the chemicals and toxins in cigs affected us, of course they did, I mean at a base level we understand they weren't good. So them leaving your system, along with the learning to cope without a crutch like smoking - is gonna cause some moves emotionally and a drop in moods.  It helped me to understand that nicotine caused a fake endorphin rush (the feel good thing in our brain). So basically nicotine coming in gave a rush that diminished as the nicotine dropped, like a never ending cycle.  You now see the only way to stop it is to completely stop nicotine. and yes, that is a good thing.

 

There are some natural mood enhancers that you can use alongside your therapy without interfering though. For anxiety a good one is to have a mantra, like repeating to yourself I am safe and well when you start to flare up. For all you say gratitude is a strong one to use as well. I don't mean bounce out of bed singing oh what a wonderful morning! Keep it real, so more days then was reasonable the best I could manage was I like having blue eyes. Other days I was more about a person or thing I had in my life - the purpose is when you start to feel it's all a bit rubbish, you remember that one thing you decided on to say it's not ALL rubbish kinda thing. Lastly at the risk of sounding woo woo, meditation is the single biggest win for naturally lifting a mood. Moving your body will create natural endorphin rushes as well. 

 

xx

[bakon]

Don't give up and good job so far is about all I can say

[beacon]

I can think of no situation where smoking adds helpfulness to the mix. It just adds to one's problems. Quitiing was a big step for you on your path to health as it was for me

[cheri]

Wait.  Are you smoking or not?

Noooooo...I am definitely not. 

[Tink]

Sounds like you are exactly where you should be Cheri, working things out, it's a journey, good luck in your therapy xxx

[Sunnyside]

Cheri you are doing brilliant mate, I am also going through some issues and been diagnosed with PTSD but I'm on meds, the anxiety wasn't pleasant for quite awhile. Which I have never suffered with until I quit or it could be more I never notice I did until I finished smoking.

 

It will get better therapy is a godsend especially it you get on with your therapist, and any anxiety or depression cause through lack of endorphins in your brain can take awhile to settle, but it will, what a strong lady you are. Remember we are here if you want to vent too.

[ChRiSpY]

You are funny.

 

Relax ...sit back and enjoy your life.  Give a f uck alittle bit less.  Focus on the good stuff you got going on.  Get rid of the negaitive sh it in your life.

 

Meditate  ;)

 

Life is good... enjoy it.

[Ramona]

Noooooo...I am definitely not. 

 

Ooops sorry!!!!  The title of your post confused me.  

 

Well done.  

[REZ]

You fit right in, look around at all the other lunatics here, myself included! 

 

Stay the coarse and you will be OK!

[babs609]

You are funny.

 

Relax ...sit back and enjoy your life.  Give a f uck alittle bit less.  Focus on the good stuff you got going on.  Get rid of the negaitive sh it in your life.

 

Meditate  ;)

 

Life is good... enjoy it.

agree 10000000+

 

be mindful