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Ok mindfuck sos sorry need it

Evelyn

By Evelyn
in The S.O.S. Board

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Evelyn Newbie

Evelyn

Posted
Posted

Sorry. sorry sorry. I need to SOS have a huge craving after some posts where I seem to start thinking, the fell back. Why not one why not get an dmn excuse and screw my quit. it seems its normal, in those topics it seems normal to get a set back so why not that little tiny smoke i try to be NOPE I just need to vent.

I´m not angry at anyone I just feel screwed by people i live with. there is no freakin´ excuse for lighting one so i won´t i justhad to vent im pissed off people get away with scrweing the rules even not smokingin the livingroom.

And I got the idea which is of course never anyones intention it´s normal to relapse after aview months!!!

I´m so sad for Jess, and I´m so pissed off, i needed to post an sos i felt pulled in two direction shutting up and give myself space to relapse or post HERE!! Even if it´s stupid thoughts and junkie thinking.

 

I HATE SMOKING.

 

Ok tears falling from my face, thank you for listining and sorry i had to post an sos, i just needed it. i do need it. Now kick under my ass NOT ONE PUFF EVER no discussion possible.

 

I feel such a looser, saying such tough love to others and collapsing myself. Guess too many emotions build up, too many smoking triggers and onehuge craving

 

I am not gonna smoke.

  • Like 2
Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
Posted

Where,s the loser ?

All I see is a fabulous non smoker having a wobble....

It's always sad when we see a comrade fall....and it shakes us up....

You my sweetheart are just having normal feelings....

You know ...just like me....we carnt have just one....it doesn't exist.....

Stay strong....throwing away your quit ...no way....you guard it like your piggies....

The only one who will be angry if you do ...will be you....

  • Like 1
Evelyn Newbie

Evelyn

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks hun. I cried and cried... Lotsa tension in the house and all smokers.

I just had to reach out.

This craving got me like you said.... wobbly and J had to walk away from a cigarette smoker outside... I did bug it was close call so I posted here.

Pigs are guarded so is my quit. Just feel wobbly and after my 3 months I got wobbly and pulled thru but today I got so wobbly even my NOPE almost wasn't enough but it brought me here kicking and screaming... I want a fag... but didn't cave.

Close close call.

  • Like 1
Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
Posted

Read and watch all Joel's stuff sweetheart...

It will strenghen your quit...and remind you how bloody great your doing....

Don't envy those smokers...they would love to be where your at right now....you can bet your life on that....

If possible try and stay away from them at the moment....

Keep the board close....

Hugs xx

  • Like 1
buMbLeB Newbie

buMbLeB

Posted
Posted

Sorry. sorry sorry. I need to SOS have a huge craving after some posts where I seem to start thinking, the fell back. Why not one why not get an dmn excuse and screw my quit. it seems its normal, in those topics it seems normal to get a set back so why not that little tiny smoke i try to be NOPE I just need to vent.

 

{...}

I´m so sad for Jess, and I´m so pissed off, i needed to post an sos i felt pulled in two direction shutting up and give myself space to relapse or post HERE!! Even if it´s stupid thoughts and junkie thinking.

 

I HATE SMOKING.

 

Ok tears falling from my face, thank you for listining and sorry i had to post an sos, i just needed it. i do need it. Now kick under my ass NOT ONE PUFF EVER no discussion possible.

 

I feel such a looser, saying such tough love to others and collapsing myself. Guess too many emotions build up, too many smoking triggers and onehuge craving

 

I am not gonna smoke.

 

Evelyn, it's ok, everyone wobbles. You're not going to smoke. You said it right in your own SOS, and I absolutely believe you. We all feel bad for Jess, most of all Jess, and I understand how seeing someone a little bit ahead of you stumble can make you feel hopeless, but don't let it. Nobody else has anything to do with you and your choices. You are the boss of you. You don't smoke anymore - hell, you hardly even seem like the same person anymore (in a good way!). That's just not you.

 

And stop being silly about posting an SOS - that was also the right choice, and because of it other people will feel stronger by watching you face your wobble and conquer it. I'm proud of you.

 

Here's a video: 

 

 

 

*edited to fix Evelyn's message :)

  • Like 3
Still winning Newbie

Still winning

Posted
Posted

It's human, you're allowed that.

 

We've all seen someone we thought was solid and panicked when they fell (sorry Jess, it's temp and I know you're back up) but that's no real reason to panic. it's the old adage isn't it...if your friend jumped off a cliff would you? I get the shake though, and with smoking so close it does make it harder...

 

but not impossible and I am living proof of that!! So yes, ball your eyes out, I fully support that plan but as for smoking, don't you dare Mrs, we don't do that anymore because we quit!!

 

NOPE. xx

  • Like 1
El Bandito Apprentice

El Bandito

Posted
Posted

'Atta girl Evelyn.

 

Losers smoke. You made a choice not to do that.

 

You are a winner.

 

Wanting a cigarette? Ah yes, we all miss the choking and the stink don't we?

 

Relax Evelyn. You are doing great. Well done.

  • Like 1
Nicole Diver Newbie

Nicole Diver

Posted
Posted

You are kicking butt E!

You are human, thoughts are not things. Vent away, that's why we're here. So long as you keep posting SOS's instead of smoking, you are doing just what you need to!

  • Like 1
Kendra Newbie

Kendra

Posted
Posted

Evelyn,

 

so glad you made it past that spot...FREE.

 

so grateful youwere close to the board and posted to share what was happening.

 

i keep finding myself in   tight spots...NOPEing, nopeing, nopeing..... and making the laugh or cry choice....

 

so glad you are FREE!! ((from me to you))

  • Like 1
mfic Newbie

mfic

Posted
Posted

We all love ya - you gotta love yourself too--  fight it w/everything ya  got- it,ll pass,,

 

a cig won't help a thing-- never did ,,,remember?? it sucks an you hate it,,  

 

Its just the little Monster,,, trying- every time you fight an urge off he gets smaller,,weaker

 

peace be with you,,  guard your quit,,

  • Like 1
Evelyn Newbie

Evelyn

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I'm touched by the many replies (while i was sleeping) and I watched Joels video 'is relapse a natural proces of quitting;? good vid!!!

I was shocked I got so close to throwing it away and it's a warning; you are never a non smoker we are ex smokers; one puff and the hell starts over. That little junkie in your brain can get your on the ridge so closely. We can be done with nicotine but nicotine is never done with us... kinda like that, once you take tha single puff your back to squere one.

 

I'm surrounded by friends here and I'm glad I went to the board last nite. an SOS is Always, ALWAYS better then one puff. But I did felt like a looser bcause I nééded the SOS after such a long time... but it seems all of you friends were glad I did it and so am I when I look back

 

THANKS ALL OF YOU QUIT BUDDIES!

  • Like 3
jimmy Explorer

jimmy

Posted
Posted

dear evelyn I see a winner you posted a sos and saved your quit you didn't cave to the crave yes well done you got this ((((((((((evelyn)))))))))))

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