Michelledoesn'tsmoke.....

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[Ria]

Read this. Line by line. Think about it. Feel it.

 

 

Picture yourself a second or two after you stub out that quit-breaking cigarette. The one that you just had to have because the craving was so strong you couldn't hold out any longer, when that voice inside you was saying.. "Go on, life sucks, you may as well smoke a cig.. y'know for your nerves.." or the other one.. "you've got this beat now.. you are in control.. you can have one just now and again.. go on have one for old time's sake.." So you bum a cigarette, and smoke it and in 2 and 1/2 minutes, you stub it out.

Now what. Your mouth feels like crap. Your lungs are tightening up. You managed to stifle the coughs .. but barely. You began to squint again because the smoke hurt your eyes. and your fingers and clothes smell again. You either want to throw up, grab some mouthwash, take a shower, or have another.. maybe buy a pack.

But then you realize what you've just done. After all those times when you said you were going to quit, and then when you finally did, and your family and friends were so happy for you - but not exactly over the moon, because after all they've been hopeful before only to see you relapse - all that enthusiasm is now smashed to pieces on the floor. And all the pressure that drove you to grab that cigarette in the first place - it's all still there. Nothing has changed, except now you've added one more problem: you just blew it.

And then you realize what you've really done. You had invested days, maybe weeks and months, in this quit. You had made a great decision, one of the few things you really and truly felt proud of in your life, and you just blew it. You just blew the quit that you swore to yourself was the last one. You were so positive, so motivated, and encouraged, you were really on top of it, ahead of the game for once, you had taken control of your life and it felt like a whole new beginning.. and you just blew it.

You look at that stub in the ashtray. The grey ash and the brown edge to the burnt paper, and the tar stain on the end of filter. You remember the thousands of cigarettes you have stubbed out and think about the tar that came into your lungs as smoke. And you think if smoking that one cigarette was worth it. Nothing's better. You feel a little dizzy now as the nicotine hits your body, even a little nauseous - certainly don't feel the pleasure that you remember the adverts and billboards were promoting during your early years as a smoker. In fact it's hard to remember any time when you felt that pleasure.. just another tobacco company lie.. They helped you to become an addict the first time, but when you smoked that cigarette after you quit.. well that was a whole new decision. You made that one all by yourself - there's no pointing fingers now, you know that cigarettes kill, so when you lit that one cigarette, the choice to smoke was all yours - no-one else to blame. And you just blew it.

It wasn't worth it.. time after time the slippers' and relapsers' lament how they feel like crap, how ashamed they are, how they have lost confidence and hope, how they hate themselves, how much it hurts, how depressed and they cry and hide and cry some more. And now you are one of them.. the quit losers. Lost in the wilderness, not quite a smoker.. yet and not sure you are a quitter, searching for some dignity, some self-respect out of this. All because of that one cigarette. Because you blew it.

WITH JUST ONE

One Puff

One Cigarette

One Pack

One Carton.

 

 

You know what it feels like to fail already. Now feel what it's like to succeed.

 

Your choice.

 

Oh Tiffany! That has been me SO MANY TIMES!!! My eyes are teary with familiar past feelings.. what a WONDERFUL post!!!

You 'hit the nail on the head'!! We ALL need to read this from time to time, and remind ourselves, (those who are 'serial quitters') that it's NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!!

 

:wub:

[DCCXXVII]

[beacon]

This should be pinned in the sos part of the forum. Often in the beginning the urge to smoke can be relentless and so tiring. But to give in would be crushing, a defeat, a blow to one's true self who is has broken free from the addiction. The above is the truth: a cigarette is just a nasty bunch of chemically treated leaves and not the answer to whatever made us want to smoke in the first place.

[Still winning]

Also made me well up, it's such a terrible feeling... and then within seconds the justifications start but a small part of you always remembers the truth..

 

Pleased I am completely free of that now!

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[Nancy]

Thank you but I didn't write this. Nancy did. And I can't thank her enough. This one post has saved me many times these last few weeks. And in 4 days, I'll be one month smoke free.

 

Michelledoesn'tsmoke, you can do this. Just take it 5 minutes at a time. It will soon be one day at a time, then one week, one month and then eventually, it's gonna be one year. Just don't smoke........no matter what you do, don't smoke.

Glad it helps, Tiff!  I did not write it though, I just found it!

 

Edited to add:  Oh, and Tiffany, almost one month is fabulous!

[Ria]

It's THE WORST feeling ever!!! almost as bad as a loved one dying!!!

(((Marti))) glad it wasn't just me being a sook! lol!

 

 

 

ok.. this is off topic but not worth a new thread....

 

When we 'edit' are we supposed to say we have?

Also, what's an EASY/quicker way to get to the top of the page?

[Nancy]

It's THE WORST feeling ever!!! almost as bad as a loved one dying!!!

(((Marti))) glad it wasn't just me being a sook! lol!

 

 

 

ok.. this is off topic but not worth a new thread....

 

When we 'edit' are we supposed to say we have?

Also, what's an EASY/quicker way to get to the top of the page?

The only time I say I've edited is if it has been awhile since may original post.  Usually I see an error, or see that I forgot to say something right after I post, and I don't say I edited, then.

 

To get to the top of the page, I just click Quit Train on my Bookmarks bar, and it takes me to main page.