What is Happening?

[holydooly]

I am here to express a desperate plea for help and understanding regarding my quit. I quit smoking 2 months ago and this quit has been a nightmare to say the least. I felt ready to quit and prepared as much as I could with past failures being my incentive and assistance. I quit cold turkey and for the first week felt great! From there it has gone downhill and I truly believe I am going crazy. I am angry, depressed, anxious, moody, unable to think straight and cannot sleep well. I have gone to my GP who has suggested that I try and chew nicotine gum to try and relieve the symptoms, which makes no sense to me, why would I introduce nicotine back into my system after not having it for over 2 months. He does not want to put my on anti depressants and believes that this is all mind over matter. My eating is out of control, I am now using food as my addiction rather than nicotine. My cardiologist is concerned about my extreme weight gain and while I know what I must do to combat this, my motivation is non existent and I just want to stay cooped up in doors away from friend who still smoke and family who don't understand. I had smoked for over 30 years, I do not know who I am as a person and I hate who I have become.  Does this truly get easier?  I read so often that people feel something similar for months.  This worries me.  I dont want to start smoking again but I feel like things will be like this forever.  Am I just being weak and a sook?

[Frezflops]

first of all dont chew the gum it will introduce nicotine back into your system you are correct.....everything you are going through is normal for a healthy quit , please trust me when I say it will get better, how slow or how fast it will get better is very individualisitic. For your eating try to choose healthier options such as fruit or veggies, drink lots of water but try, at this point, not to stress about the weight as much but there are things you can do to combat it. Try going for a walk in fact make yourself get up off your but and go for a walk even if you do not feel like it, trust me you will feel better after it is done and accomplished for the deed. Find activities that you like to do and do them even if you do not feel like it just do it anyway. Tell the voices in your head that are telling you to not do anything to shut the heck up and go for i, trust me it will help. I lost 80 lbs through diet and exercise all while quitting smoking it can be done. Remember breathe very deep in and out slowly. If you like yoga, do yoga that can be very helpful in relaxing you and relieving your extra stress. You are at a stage where it feels hopeless but you have made it this far you can keep it up, please be strong. Kick yourself in the but and just do it for yourself not for anyone else but you!!!

 

Post here all you need to, read all you need to, use distraction to aid in your quit. IT DOES GET BETTER HANG IN THERE PLEASE!!!

 

 

Excellant job in posting here

 

Lisa

[Evelyn]

I agree with Frez. Nicotine replacements only make it harder, it will and DOES get easier. You have a choice: stay addicted and captive in an eternal cycle of nicotine, withdrawls nicotine etc. You CAN choose to END this circle. Does it take efford and commintment hell yeah but most of a decision that can change the way you look at life and become helathier. :)I was too captive in fear, used nicotine replacers -- 10 freaking years until I broke the cyclus and threw out all nicotine replacers and smokes.

Joels Spitzers advices to drink juice to prevent your sugarlevels to drop, this is (I discovered) the worst withdraws your brains tricks you thinking you need a smoke but your body actually needs some extra boost cencerning bloodsugar levels; I used lotsa Sugar which i only recommend if your not diabetic ;) but if this chicken dares,I dare you: read a lot here, pledge the NOT ONE PUFF EVER every day and stickwith it nomatter what and SOS if needed we are all here to drag you thru, but YOU need to commit to your quit.

 

Since my quit, I grew, in size ;) in wisdom, conquered many traps and didn't smoke even if I was broken on the floor so to speak, I'm a butterfly now and back then I was that pop. Mentally, spirituallity I've grown sooooo much just by taking the leap of faith and ignoring my fears comingwithout nicotine... guess what? That nicotine monster is sometimes having a seizure trying to trick me but I've never felt so free since my quit (and my move to a new place but that's another matter lol0

 

FREE yourself, only you can and we? We stick with you along the way, this forum has the most and many succesful quiters and that's no bull, people are comminted to staying quit, education and even lingering around after months, years just to draw new quiters thru the first period until they can help others too, this place is amazing...

 

Okay I think I'll shut up now *wink*

[Evelyn]

Oh Frez, you mention yoga--- i'm gonna do yoga too and I really think it's goods since smokers breathe high from the chest so it's not just healthy it helps you to start breathing from your belly :D So *nodds* go to yoga Holydooly!!!

 

And I forgot to welcome you :) Welcome

[El Bandito]

Holydooly.

 

Welcome aboard - and well done!

 

all of the symptoms you describe are

 

1. normal

2. all your own doing

 

You really can put yourself on a rollercoaster of emotions agonising about 'the quit'. I know that I did.

 

Bottom line is that you have quit because you know it is what you want. Mission accomplished!

 

Rejoice!

 

Put a smile on your face - and focus on shedding a bit of quitting weight. Go walk a bit.

 

You are doing great - and yes, it does get better and better if you let it.

[Evelyn]

How come you can say it so simply Bandit :P so true where's Bakon, still on vacation??? Bakon has a 'porky' way of putting things, d*mn true and often painful but great lessons... Hope he's a way while I write this :D

[Ramona]

HolyDooly,

 

In the first 4-5 months I gained ~ 20 lbs.  I rolled with my quit, and ate whatever I wanted, and continued to exercise every day.  In four days, I will be 9 months quit.  I have returned to my pre-quit weight!  Additionally, my body may weigh the same but it looks more feminine to me.  I love it!  It's less like a skeleton and more muscular and soft.  Good stuff.

 

About "locking yourself away."  Why not?  Maybe you need to hide away for a bit - accept yourself for your abnormal reactions and behavior.  Even @ 9 months I sometimes act like a petulant child.  I'm dealing with emotions I smoked away for over 15 years - - OF COURSE I'm a little nuts.  My rule is: as long as I don't seriously injure myself or another, I will do whatever it takes.

 

Sometimes I'll encounter a situation which floods my system with adrenaline (it feels like I'm mainlining a serious chemical into my veins).  This is only my fight-or-flight response and it's working stronger than ever!!!!  I'm not accustomed to it.  The cigarettes/nicotine dulled that sensation.  I've gotten into a bit of trouble for it, but so what?  Neither I, nor anyone else, has been seriously injured!!!  And I'm currently working on emotion regulation through meditation/prayer.  

 

This is not easy.  It's SIMPLE.  It's so simple - never take another puff.  But easy?  Heck no.  That's why we're all here to get you through this unbelievable challenge.  

 

2 months is remarkable and impressive.  March on.

[Runfree]

There is much wisdom in the above posts!  

 

Welcome HolyDooly.  Do trust that it will get better.  I was a 36 year smoker and I too had a rough go around the two month mark.  It was around that time that I truly adopted the just roll with it and whatever it takes mindset.  By then I had no desire to smoke, but I had a massive desire to not feel or be so jagged.  I did isolate and it helped, baths with epsom salt before bed helped with insomnia, bananas for some reason were like crack and made me feel better (probably the sugar).   Exercise is good in whatever form you enjoy, just push yourself to engage in it.  Slowly slowly things come together.  Also, something you'll read over and over is how, out of the blue, you'll notice something that used to be bothersome is just gone, vanished and you'll think 'when did that happen'.  It's pretty great.

 

I do understand it can be frustrating HolyDolly, but I also hope it's validating to hear it's normal stuff.  And most importantly, it's temporary.  You are doing the most important thing here, right?  Kicking an addiction isn't for sissies and you have put some hard days behind you.  Keep going!!  

[sgt.barney]

In a year, it won't matter.

 

In two, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

 

In three, you'll forget that you ever were a smoker.

 

In four ... Sarge doesn't know - He'll find out in November.

 

All you have to do is watch the clock and ride out the time. It's a simple waiting game.

 

Easy Peasy

[beacon]

Hi, welcome! The beginning can be difficult but as Sarge says it will get easier as time goes on. The symptoms you describe seem about normal to me . I smoked for 30 years to and my quit was a journey of ups and downs. Have you read The Easy Way To Quit Smoking? It helps with how a person should view quitiing smoking.

[BAT]

Take a deep breath and let your lungs enjoy the fresh air  :)

[Doreensfree]

Hi HD,

I smoked a long time ...a very long time....my body didn't know what hit it when I quit.....

I went through every emotion possible....sleep was non existent....bad temper....crying all the time...

But I was told to push through it all ...it will get better....

You know what.... It does.....slowly things startes to settle down....

I just used to repeat to my self....nope....this will pass....smokkng is not on the table....no matter what....

You have a great quit going....I promise it does get better...x

[Still winning]

Hi, 

 

All of the above :)  It's a tricky thing a quit I think. All that re settling and thoughts. It really can be up and down. I found the trick that helped me was to celebrate the good bits too, so I acknowledged that actually, when I dug deeper it wasn't all bad. Like deeper breaths, like tasting the food (that also piled on some pounds), like self belief because no matter what...I was doing it! 

 

You are quit, really celebrate that!! 2 months is amazing work, it really is and I don't think you are hi fiving yourself nearly enough for how utterly fabulous you are!! Literally millions of people are not strong enough to the point you've got to, and alone as well!

 

How are feeling now? Did the posts make you feel like it's gonna be ok, because it really will be. Those thoughts of in a year, in two - they are so true! It really doesn't matter to a number of us anymore and that's a good thing. This too shall pass!!

 

xx

[queen greenlover]

:dash1: Trust us, if it was HELL  24/7  forever NO ONE would stay cig free, it's the addict in you throwing a tantrum cause you won't feed your addiction. Hang in there.

[holydooly]

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply and offer support and advice.  I do understand that it is the addiction.  I have a long way to go and each day, while still a battle, is another day down.  I no longer "crave" the nicotine as such, what I crave is that soothing feeling I guess.  I never smoked because of peer pressure, I took up smoking to deal with childhood abuse.  It was a way as a young child to "psychologically" deal with emotions and in some crazy way, it was my way of rebelling against the very people who were hurting me.  I would steal their cigarettes and then smoke them.  At age 10 it seemed like a great way to get back at them.  So you see smoking had been my way to get through the many things early in my life and it became embedded that smoking was my only way to deal with any stress, negative or even positive things in my life.  So now 35 years later.  I don't know how to do it without cigarettes.  I am trying to learn and unfortunately food has taken its place until I can get out of this slump.  I don't want to smoke again and I also don't like feeling this way.  Its a battle that often feels lonely and very misunderstood.  Thank you for taking the time everyone, I really appreciate it.

[El Bandito]

Hey HD.

 

Tough times.

 

You got through those times. You did. You.

 

Sometimes we addicts imbue our addictions with hidden superpowers. They are illusions.

 

It is important to realise that you managed to cope with stress and difficult times DESPITE smoking, not because of it.

 

As a nonsmoker you will actually be able to handles stress better. It's a chemical thing.

 

You are doing brilliantly. You are doing an amazing thing. Take a little moment to pat yourself on the back and smile.

 

Keep going!

[holydooly]

Thanks so much Bandito!! :) 

[Doreensfree]

Sorry to hear you have had to deal with some real bad crap....

But taking control of your life now....is such a power lift.....

This is you....calling the shots....

Take it day by day......nice and steady....

We are proud of you..

And so glad you are here..l

Hugs xx

[Ramona]

Bandito hit the nail.

You overcame that abuse despite those stress-inducing, fortune-depleting, slave-making shit sticks.

And you will continue to overcome.