Life Happens

[Kendra]

Hola Folks,

 

Just a bit of rant or vent, or likely, self pity... meh.

 

For a looong while I kept saying I will quit when ____.  Usually after some big event had passed or an extra helping of working stress mellowed out.  Well, life happens and I DON'T SMOKE.

Currently I am deeply unhappy with my emotional ride; my thoughts, words and actions in my life~love relationship; and my decided lack of hope and patience with myself.

I have been doing much reading and watching on quit train. I have read Allen Carr's book and am aligning my beliefs with the life I deeply desire living----FREE.

 

Just crying and sad,   snapping at my marvelous man,   feeling  angry and lonely....  so, here I am talking to you.

I must prioritize:

FUN

WRITTEN posted in house lists of:  why I quit,  what to tell meSelf when I begin rationalizing, romanticizing and justifying getting a pack.

 

 

It has been 11 days sans cigarettes and a few less without nicotine.   So .... Hell week long past.  It is my head that gets me into trouble.

 

 

Love and light to all.

 

So grateful for the support here and reading the many posts, information and  laughs you all seem to have together.

 

 

 

[Tink]

Hola Kendra

 

I recently went through an emotional time that rocked my whole being through to the core, the fact that you used love and light in your post suggests to me you are a spiritual person as am I

 

Every morning I would listen to YouTube affirmations:

 

Jason Ellis - gratitude

Jason Ellis - happiness

Jason Ellis - positive thinking

 

They brought me around very quickly

 

I hope if you listen to them they help you

 

Love and light x

[beacon]

You can keep your quit and it is your special gift to yourself. For me the quitting journey came with many emotional ups and downs. I settled in with my favorite, anger! and it took a long time for me to simmer down.

 

However, along the way, i started to make some other changes including leaving a job of 20 years. Good riddance! I think that because I no longer stuff my feelings with nicotine, the truth has come out and I am no longer sedating myself into placidity.

 

So give yourself time and it is okay to feel not great for awhile. At the same time, look at what you have done, quit smoking! A great achievement.

[El Bandito]

Hey Kendra.

 

Yep. Life happens.

 

I hope that you can get on top of all the things that are getting on top of you - but I guarantee you, that smoking would not help one tiny bit.

 

You have done an amazing thing quitting. You should be very proud of yourself. Get out there and buy yourself a little reward. After all - you have saved the money by quitting.

 

You are doing great Kendra - just keep going, it really feels better and better....

[action]

Hi Kendra, what you are saying is very true. And for the first 3 weeks or so, your mind is going to be racing all over the place! But it does get better, and you will start seeing the benefits of not smoking. That's when being a nonsmoker becomes rewarding rather than a seemingly endless slog!

 

Hang in there, you are doing great :)

[Runfree]

Rant away, this is the place to do it!  

 

Also understand that you will have weird phases in your early days and for some of us, this sad/angry/frustrated manifestation is one but do know it will not last forever.  I cried.  I had waves of being a seething b*tch about anything and everything.  Honest to Pete, I didn't even like being around myself let alone other people.  I took a lot of epsom salt/lavender oil baths.  LOL, true story.   

 

If you can find a way to observe it as a phase rather than get caught up in it, it really does help.  Let it out while minimizing the damage....and roll with it.

 

And always remember that you are doing something HUGE and important for your life.  Big Kudos Kendra.  

[Jenny]

What you describe is very familiar to most here.  I promise you it gets better.  So much better.  There will come a time when you won't be able to imagine that you were once a slave to cigarettes.  Time is your friend.  Time and the QT!  

 

Just remember that smoking doesn't help anything.  It never did and the most amazing part of this journey is finding out that you don't need that crutch to live your life.  xx

[Still winning]

Oh another "love and lighter" here too :)

 

Emotional you say, being a bit of a div to the dearest and dearest you add.  Aha, sounds like you've quit smoking! See some of us truck on through with the smile dammit plan and others of us have to warn those we love that we may be a bit up and down at times, cause we're saving our own life and giving ourselves a gift of freedom!  Sound extreme? It's really not! You are doing something absolutely amazing for yourself and everyone you care for...and what, maybe things will wobble for a while...it's all part of the great plan. It happens. Smile and feel euphoric when you can and cry and wallow if you need. It's actually all good news and better out then in!

 

Congrats on a beautiful quit. xx

[Pippa]

Kendra - all sounds normal to me !! Those first few weeks can be tough - so rant away !! Keeping active on the board will help you get through the tough times and take comfort knowing it will get better ! :-)

[MarylandQuitter]

When I look back at all that has happened since I quit smoking I can see so clearly how cigarettes truly never helped us deal with life.  Life as it happens was just an excuse to smoke.  The fact that I'm still smoke-free, without a single puff, proves to me that no matter what life brings, smoking isn't going to change anything, calm us down or much less help us "get through the tough times".

[NewIdentity]

I truly feel for you and hope you feel better soon, have been there. What started to help me along slightly was looking forward to something again, and so getting myself little treats or rewards for even the smallest of milestones kept me more even, haha. I realized in the back of my mind I was telling myself I had nothing to look forward to. (Complete Lie of course) and that has since gone. :)

[Kendra]

Thank you all for the words, thoughts, resources, suggestions, laughs (nice to laugh at the roller coaster) and encouragement.