Tyme2be Truthful

[bakon]

She came klean about her sukin on crap stick and such....and jumping back on train....so help us all out.....even after years I occasionally think for a second......not seriously going to light up ever again....and see those poor souls outside who haven't got "it" yet and still slave to the nicotine....but TIMETOBE truthful and post the experience....tell us how the first puff burned like when we were kids and stole one off an adult. How the taste was bad and left a film on your clean teeth and mouth...how utterly disappointing the experience was and how the body's lungs burned...and how it stuck a little morsle of doubt in your brain, woke the beast we killed and made you think you might "enjoy" the second one after the first was bad........

 

Tell us the experience so we are reminded NOT to think it will be good or pleasureable, but instead a complete let down, and something we should avoid....help a quitter remember there is no going back...

[cpk]

The person who relapses knows how terrible the addiction is.

 

I would rather talk about the freedom of quitting for good. It feels good to breathe. I love deep breathing, something I could not do as a smoker.

 

That's No. 1. There are tons of reasons to not smoke but the main one is that is is unnatural to put hot, poisonous smoke where it doesn't belong.

 

A good meditation for the new nonsmoker is to close your eyes and breathe really long and deep until you count 18 breaths, then start over. It's a natural high. It's better than any drug, and as good as any orgasm, pardon my French.

[bakon]

you haven't been touched right....

[cpk]

Haha. Silly. Not smoking and breathing deep is fully 100% orgasmic all the time, a cosmic and epic experience. Full body. Life giving. Smoking is death; even sex stinks when one is a smoker...and that's a fact. Smoking is deadly and anti-life. Not smoking and breathing is beautiful, sexy, sensual, and divine. I love not smoking with a passion. So does Tymie, and now she's back, and breathing right.

[Evelyn]

I caughed like an old horse. First real time got from my mom.

[cpk]

I'm sorry, did I misunderstand this thread? Are you asking Tyme to talk about her relapse???

 

Or asking others to talk about past relapses?

 

Whatever.

 

Relapsing sucks. All of us have been there. The best thing everyone did was to haul Tyme right back on the train, and not let her spend one more minute in the wasteland of relapse. As well, from what I've read, every relapse cigarette reinforces the habit more deeply. So I was impressed with everyone and how they quickly convinced Tyme that to wait even one more hour before climbing back on board was not a good game plan.

 

I think I misunderstood the thread. Not the first time. So sorry.

[bakon]

I think I described it how she will.... But if she wants to add to reinforce us all...

[cpk]

I think I described it how she will.... But if she wants to add to reinforce us all...

Okay, sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread...

[cpk]

Okay, sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread...

PS You're touched in the head. But you know that. Night night, and praying I don't have weird dreams after being on QT...

[deltawings]

Powerful words bakon.

[Tyme2B]

She came klean about her sukin on crap stick and such....and jumping back on train....so help us all out.....even after years I occasionally think for a second......not seriously going to light up ever again....and see those poor souls outside who haven't got "it" yet and still slave to the nicotine....but TIMETOBE truthful and post the experience....tell us how the first puff burned like when we were kids and stole one off an adult. How the taste was bad and left a film on your clean teeth and mouth...how utterly disappointing the experience was and how the body's lungs burned...and how it stuck a little morsle of doubt in your brain, woke the beast we killed and made you think you might "enjoy" the second one after the first was bad........

 

Tell us the experience so we are reminded NOT to think it will be good or pleasureable, but instead a complete let down, and something we should avoid....help a quitter remember there is no going back...

The experience has been perfectly described by you Bakon. It tasted bad, smelled bad & is not something I ever want to repeat. I just wanted to scrub it all away forever in the Shower. I will NOT fall off the train again. It's not worth repeating believe me. And the disappointment & guilt in myself is beyond description. NOPE....stick to it. Being honest has just cemented my Quit even more. Just DON'T DO IT....IT'S DISGUSTING. And after 5 months clean I now know how dirty it feels.

[Tyme2B]

Haha. Silly. Not smoking and breathing deep is fully 100% orgasmic all the time, a cosmic and epic experience. Full body. Life giving. Smoking is death; even sex stinks when one is a smoker...and that's a fact. Smoking is deadly and anti-life. Not smoking and breathing is beautiful, sexy, sensual, and divine. I love not smoking with a passion. So does Tymie, and now she's back, and breathing right.

Yes I'm back & probably more determined than ever to NEVER smoke again. Thanks for your support CPK & all those who told me to get right back on the train. I did & I'm holding on tight. I'm feeling relieved the disgusting habit did not take hold of me. Smoking is indeed a death sentence. I was truthful. I was guilty. I was sickened by my weakness. But I am feeling much better now that I am back on track. NOPE rules.

[Tyme2B]

I am on the full dose of my new antidepressant now...no problems...strong & determined. Feeling better. Smoke free, nicotine free. I fell down but got right back up with the support on this site. I WANT to be a non smoker & WILL be a non smoker. I have proved to myself I can do it already. What a horrible thing to be a window licker. What a sense of personal pride to win the battle. I will be staying close to the board.

[Nancy]

I am on the full dose of my new antidepressant now...no problems...strong & determined. Feeling better. Smoke free, nicotine free. I fell down but got right back up with the support on this site. I WANT to be a non smoker & WILL be a non smoker. I have proved to myself I can do it already. What a horrible thing to be a window licker. What a sense of personal pride to win the battle. I will be staying close to the board.

Good for you, Tyme!  You've got it this time!

[Tyme2B]

Yes!!!! Yes, yes, yes! Thanks Nancy xx

[Ria]

The person who relapses knows how terrible the addiction is.

 

I would rather talk about the freedom of quitting for good. It feels good to breathe. I love deep breathing, something I could not do as a smoker.

 

That's No. 1. There are tons of reasons to not smoke but the main one is that is is unnatural to put hot, poisonous smoke where it doesn't belong.

 

A good meditation for the new nonsmoker is to close your eyes and breathe really long and deep until you count 18 breaths, then start over. It's a natural high. It's better than any drug, and as good as any orgasm, pardon my French.

 

 

Here is another example of how HARD it is for me... or should I say WAS!

 

Physically, I didn't feel in the LEAST BIT 'unhealthy'!  No cough, no shortage of breath, just a bit of phlegm now and again, if my friend and I had had a "bash" and smoked excessively the night before...

No one ever complained of the smell, as I only smoked outside on the balc... (spent a LOT of time there, I can tell you!)

 

Mentally, I felt like a "cripple"... I knew I shouldn't be but couldn't stop for long....

 

Only a few knew that I'd started again.... and there WERE times I DID quit, for a few days, a week or two, (never longer), so apart from the

FREEDOM of not having to hide it, or worry that someone will 'find out', it's the MONEY that I quit for! 

 

I don't NOW, but in the beginning of my Quit, I'd think "if I could afford it, I'd smoke"... which in retrospect, I can see didn't help my resolve... :(

and it IS gettting better by the day... "one day at a time".... 

This is the 1st morning the craving for the 'coffee cigi' didn't "hurt", per se!!!  and I'm OVER THE MOON!

 

I want to add, that although I don't post much, EACH and EVERY day since joining this OUTSTANDING group, I've read, liked, and got such inspiration and help from Y'ALL, even when I was busting!!!

Knowing I wasn't 'alone'.... reading such similar stories, has helped more than words can describe!!

 

 

Okay, sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread...

 

 

Me either, CPK... but how else do I reply?

 

A very emotional time isn't it Tyme? GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!  :wub:   so many 'thoughts' muching around...

[MarylandQuitter]

My relapse in 2013 in a nutshell...

 

...Those 9 months prior that I speak of, although smoke-free, I was still believing somewhere in the back of my mind that cigarettes could offer me something because of my triumphant reunion with them nearly two years prior.  It was all a big lie perpetuated by me.  When I bought that pack in October I thought it would help.  After reading Allen Carr’s book several times and being proactive for so many months, who was I kidding?  The only thing I got from it was emptiness.  It was at this moment and 19 cigarettes later that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that cigarettes could not do a damn thing for me.  It took a one week relapse for me to 100% believe that no matter what happens in life, no matter how crappy I feel, cigarettes will not do anything.
 
With each and every cigarette I analyzed how I felt.  From the very first pull on that cigarette I was ultra aware of how I was feeling.  I remembered Allen Carr.  I remembered the lies.  I remembered all the former smokers in the support group.  I recalled all I had read about this addiction.  I was still waiting for the enjoyment because I thought it really existed.  Not only did I not get one bit of enjoyment from any of it, but I also found out the hard way that there isn’t a single thing enjoyable about smoking.  It wasn’t until I truly understood that I got nothing from smoking that I willingly put the cigarettes down without any medication and without a second thought.
 
However, close to the end of that week of smoking I could feel the addiction coming on strong.  Had I not chosen to quit smoking on October 7th, 2013, I feel that I would have fallen back into a full blown nicotine addiction and smoking 30-40 cigarettes per day as that was my usual routine.  I was probably just a few cigarettes away from this happening and it was scary to relive those feelings of being physically and mentally addicted to smoking constantly needing to feed the throngs of nicotine withdrawal.  This is not a place that I ever want to revisit.

 

Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing is worse relapsing over.  Nothing.  Glad to see Tyme is back on the train!!  Dig your heels in, tuck your chin and don't give a freaking inch to this addiction.  You're smarter than nicotine.  You don't have to be stronger to beat it but you can beat it every single time by being smarter than it.

 

 

Are You Stronger Than Your Cigarettes?

This video discusses the importance of understanding that you won't be able to quit smoking and stay free by becoming stronger than cigarettes but rather by becoming smarter than nicotine.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxLxDuTOCT0

 

A whole video section on relapse.  :)

http://www.quittrain.com/topic/4754-videos-addressing-relapse-prevention/

[Tyme2B]

Thanks so much for your story MQ. Very powerful & touching....I am so glad you shared. I am very fortunate I got pulled back onto QT so quickly by the good advice of the support on QT. I am able to sY thd nicotine demon did nog get hold of me....I wanted the strength & smarts to beat it....and fortunately I did. Had I waited & not admitted my failure? I don't even want to go there. I'm a non smoker.

[Tyme2B]

Ria thanks so much for sharing your story....not any of us WANT a relapse...ever. When one of us bites the dust so many thoughts race into play. But I am impressed that we All feel it. We ALL want to beat this crazy addiction to be strong & healthy....and smart!

[Devil Doll]

Tyme... every time I had the thought to throw it away I thought on it. I know that it is hard to think when you are in the moment but this is your sticky quit so I want you to think. When the wave starts to come just ride it out, and while you are clinging tight look at your ticker and think of how much worse it is at hour 12; day 1 then it is at the moment you are currently in. Think of how crappy it would be to have to start it all over. 

When you want to get mad at big tobacco and you have time to mess around on Google then start looking up the increases in nicotine content in cigarettes. You will see how they are trying to make us fail and keep us at their mercy forever. 

I know that you are going to make it and that this will be your sticky! You've got this! Post, post, post and SOS when you need to. Have you written out a "Pre response" to your own SOS in the thread? That thread has saved quits... 

 

Here it is:   http://www.quittrain.com/topic/259-pre-respond-to-your-own-sos/page-5

[DCCXXVII]

[Ramona]

Thyme - very impressive that you've made a decision to "jump back in."  I feel like it's so easy to be like, "I'm a failure - it's over - what's the point?" But you aren't letting that happen and that's wonderful.

 

You got this!!!  No more BS.

[cpk]

Here is another example of how HARD it is for me... or should I say WAS!

 

Physically, I didn't feel in the LEAST BIT 'unhealthy'!  No cough, no shortage of breath, just a bit of phlegm now and again, if my friend and I had had a "bash" and smoked excessively the night before...

No one ever complained of the smell, as I only smoked outside on the balc... (spent a LOT of time there, I can tell you!)

 

Mentally, I felt like a "cripple"... I knew I shouldn't be but couldn't stop for long....

 

Only a few knew that I'd started again.... and there WERE times I DID quit, for a few days, a week or two, (never longer), so apart from the

FREEDOM of not having to hide it, or worry that someone will 'find out', it's the MONEY that I quit for! 

 

I don't NOW, but in the beginning of my Quit, I'd think "if I could afford it, I'd smoke"... which in retrospect, I can see didn't help my resolve... :(

and it IS gettting better by the day... "one day at a time".... 

This is the 1st morning the craving for the 'coffee cigi' didn't "hurt", per se!!!  and I'm OVER THE MOON!

 

I want to add, that although I don't post much, EACH and EVERY day since joining this OUTSTANDING group, I've read, liked, and got such inspiration and help from Y'ALL, even when I was busting!!!

Knowing I wasn't 'alone'.... reading such similar stories, has helped more than words can describe!!

 

 

 

 

Me either, CPK... but how else do I reply?

 

A very emotional time isn't it Tyme? GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!  :wub:   so many 'thoughts' muching around...

50% or more smokers die from conditions caused by smoking. Pretty gloomy odds when smoking is a completely arbitrary activity. You are the very first former smoker I have encountered who said they had no compromises in respiration, so I can't address that. Even smokers in their teens and 20's note shortness of breath. On a personal level...smokers stink. Their clothes, hair, and breath stinks. Maybe you hung around very polite people when you were a smoker? If it was just the money that stopped you from smoking...well, thank goodness for pricey smokes! This addiction is a killer. Besides that, it's an ugly, ugly disgusting habit. It's a selfish habit. Second hand smoke is polluting...even outdoors. Glad you're a nonsmoker!!!

[Doreensfree]

So happy you took your seat back on the train tyme....

Your life really does depend on it..

I too thought smoking was not effecting me...my lungs were ok....I could breath....

Hubby was already suffering from copd/ emphysema....nothing wrong with my lungs....

No ...something sinister was happenening somewhere else....

I came near to a whisper of having both feet amputated....

It's not always the lungs....

relapse is not a option for me....I have no more chances....

Don't let this be you....

Now that you have found your seat here....guard it well....and keep it....never give it up for anything...

Xxxx

[cpk]

Thanks for all your comments, Doreen.