S/O/Family/Friends ALL smokers

[NewIdentity]

I'm almost at a week and feeling great about not smoking, unfortunately my concerns are shifting now being reminded that my significant other smokes, my best girlfriend smokes, and basically my entire family and extended friends and family smoke... with the exception of my grandmother, and my aunt whom I don't see often. I have the kind of situation where we all get together almost every weekend and bbq. Has anyone else had a quit situation similar? If not any advice anyhow?

[Nancy]

New, lots of people smoke...but you don't.  Just pledge NOPE every day, and if you have difficulty at the family bbq...make plans to leave.  When others light up, offer to do the cooking or cleaning, or just take a walk around the block.  You can do this!

[BAT]

Go visit Grandma  :)

[Ramona]

Visit Grandma X2.  Totally.

 

I see my 87 year old grandma every Sunday and we play cards.  I doubt I'd still have her around if she had been a smoker.  When I'm with her I am so grateful to no longer be jonesing for a fix!

[DCCXXVII]

[El Bandito]

Large social occasions where many are smoking and where I used to smoke were a little daunting at first.

 

Will people offer me a cigarette? Probably.

Will I feel like smoking? Probably.

Will I try to persuade myself that just one at a social gathering is WAY better than smoking every day? Probably.

Will I look at people and whine "how come they get to smoke?"

 

Actually...

 

People will offer me a cigarette because misery loves company.

Of course I will feel like smoking, my addiction will immediately sense an opportunity to get me back. But a good firm NOPE will put it back in its place.

There is no such thing as just one for me. "I am one puff away from a pack a day".

Those people that 'get to smoke' are looking at me. "How did he just stop? He used to smoke more than me and for years too. Yet he looks completely relaxed." They know that as sure as eggs is eggs, smoking is killing them.

 

Quitting smoking is a life changing and life enhancing choice. People are inspired by you. Quitting does not mean duck out of life, it means grab life by the throat and LIVE it!

 

In practical terms though...don't drink too much. Have in mind allies that you can rely on if you get tempted and a place to go take 5 mins if you need to regroup and sip some water.

 

My experience was the anticipation was worse than the reality.

 

Also, Grandma will always appreciate a visit. (I bet she is hugely proud of you too)

[MarylandQuitter]

I Gave Up Smoking
Video discusses how attitude can play a major role on how easy or hard quitting and staying fee can be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSe3iH-N2LU&index=34&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB

 

Avoiding Situations Where You Used To Smoke

Video discusses the importance of facing triggers head on as opposed to the natural inclination of many to avoid situations where they used to smoke.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M681p2B-8kA

[Pippa]

Large social occasions where many are smoking and where I used to smoke were a little daunting at first.

Will people offer me a cigarette? Probably.

Will I feel like smoking? Probably.

Will I try to persuade myself that just one at a social gathering is WAY better than smoking every day? Probably.

Will I look at people and whine "how come they get to smoke?"

Actually...

People will offer me a cigarette because misery loves company.

Of course I will feel like smoking, my addiction will immediately sense an opportunity to get me back. But a good firm NOPE will put it back in its place.

There is no such thing as just one for me. "I am one puff away from a pack a day".

Those people that 'get to smoke' are looking at me. "How did he just stop? He used to smoke more than me and for years too. Yet he looks completely relaxed." They know that as sure as eggs is eggs, smoking is killing them.

Quitting smoking is a life changing and life enhancing choice. People are inspired by you. Quitting does not mean duck out of life, it means grab life by the throat and LIVE it!

In practical terms though...don't drink too much. Have in mind allies that you can rely on if you get tempted and a place to go take 5 mins if you need to regroup and sip some water.

My experience was the anticipation was worse than the reality.

Also, Grandma will always appreciate a visit. (I bet she is hugely proud of you too)

Umm - what El said !! :-)

 

Seriously go with a plan, be prepared to leave if you need to and take pride that all those smokers will be envious of you ! You can do this - and remember we are here for support if you need it :-)

[action]

No, I have not been in this situation myself, but you just have to carry on what you are doing, and do not let them affect your quit... Who knows, you could well plant the non-smoking seed in some of them, which is fantastic :d

 

You can do this, no problem :)

[ChRiSpY]

Every time you get through a situation like this, your quit gets stronger and it gets easier.

 

Keep pushing forward... it will be hard at first... but it is soooooo f*cking rewarding in the end.

 

You might even be setting an example for the rest of your folk.  You never know...you might start a new quit trend.

 

Be strong...be awesome.

[Still winning]

I'm almost at a week and feeling great about not smoking, unfortunately my concerns are shifting now being reminded that my significant other smokes, my best girlfriend smokes, and basically my entire family and extended friends and family smoke... with the exception of my grandmother, and my aunt whom I don't see often. I have the kind of situation where we all get together almost every weekend and bbq. Has anyone else had a quit situation similar? If not any advice anyhow?

Most of my crew smoked when I quit, I lived with two of them who smoked in the house. It had up's and downs on the quit to be honest. Quite a few of us quitters here have partners etc that smoked, some still do and some we inspired to quit. 

 

-Decide here and now that you're done smoking and that's no longer an option for you. Write an easy to look at list of why you don't want to smoke, sometimes a quick reminder leaves you good to go again.

-There is no shame in running away if it feels hard, early night, shower, walk round the block or whatever else you can plan to do in that situation

-Use the NOPE or another mantra, that you can repeat in your head, it's about distracting your brain as it passes by quite quick.

-Educate yourself, as quickly as possible. Read the horror stories on whyquit, post and vent here...it's important to understand nicotine addiction in order to fight it better.

 

Now the flip side. If I was around smokers, socially or inside and started to crave I would watch them. In your head that cigarette will be calming/great etc but watching smokers really shattered that illusion for me after I quit lol. They always get the "catch" and the cough...realizing that was there body trying to cope with a chemical and nicotine overload made me re think how much I wanted to do that.

 

Because the truth of it is, no one is thinking oh yippee, I smoke!! Most smokers want to quit. Even the ones who apaprently "love smoking" or "it's their only vice" never really anticipated spending thousands on the habit did they. I certainly didn't plan that and I bet you didn't either and that's the truth of it. Remebering that it's harmful and really costly are helpful to a quit.

 

I will wait for the panic, how do I make them stop post in about 3 weeks. As you feel things falling into place and it's not an all day every day battle your thoughts will switch to trying to tell them it can be done and a number of us worry for those smokers still around us. But the truth is the best thing you can do is exactly what you've done, quit! Lead by example! They will be patiently waiting for you to come back into the "smoking fold", not in a horrid way, smokers just don't like thinking they should be stopping - no addict likes to be reminded they have an addiction of any kind in honesty. What you're doing is a solid lead for helping show them a way though...then it's their choice if they follow your most excellent lead :)

 

And massive congrats on a 1 week quit by the way!!  Brilliant work and I hope you get your first deep breath any day now and realize how great that feeling is :)

 

xx

[babs609]

i look at smokers with pity...not envy. 

I don't lecture them at all..but when they ask....I am sure to GUSH how lovely it is to be a non smoker!

 

There is not one ounce of smokers envy from me...no way!

 

PS--visit grandma often..not because she's a non smoker..just because she's your grandma.  :)

[JeepKuntry]

Sooner or later you will have to find a way to deal with these situations. Luckily 95% of my friends do not smoke. That being said, you may be the encouragement they need to give it up as well. I've always thought to stare our demons down and beat them. If you feel that you can't, then you need to leave before you give in.

[NewIdentity]

It flips from concern and worry to being afraid I'll want to smoke (haven't yet) but it's something I'll have to take in stride. Yesterday while my friend was visiting and we were talking she went to smoke and I went with her, stepped back and away from it but I did bring two chocolates to enjoy. :P I know I'll have to be very careful with having any wine and maybe cut that out for awhile. My grandma is usually at the bbq's (it's my aunt I don't see often) she just doesn't smoke, so she just mingles without the cigs, I'll be joining her. :) I truly appreciate you all so much, it helps to read here during old smoking times or stressful moments. Thank-You everyone!

[Ria]

NewID :)  

Your thoughts are almost mirror images (if that's the right term) as mine, at times! 

But today, I had a revelation!!!

 

We are ALL "mourning".... seriously!!! after YEARS of blowing in and out as a "habit" (because I think we've determined the 'addiction' is more mental than physical, yes?) it takes a bit of "change" to succeed... and DETERMINATION!!! 

 

Think of it like any abusive relationship!!! For what ever reason, we throw them out, get on with life for a while, then... we wish,  as if by some miracle they're changed, we take them back... try again....

The relationship with fags is the same!!!! We're not going to die without them.... quite the contrary!!!! and all they do is pull us down, mentally, physically and FINANCIALLY!

 

our N.O.P.E pledge says it all!!! and yes! EVERY smoker wishes they didn't!! LOL!!! WE know that, don't we???

 

YOU CAN DO IT and you WILL!!!! :wub:

[sgt.barney]

Pffft. Sarge's Wife smoked full-time the entire first three years of his quit.[1]

 

Father smokes. Mother had just recently quit and was a part-timer. Best friend and neighbors all smoked.

 

Mind over matter, Bro - if you don't mind, it don't matter, right?

 

It just doesn't matter.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

 

 

FOOTNOTES:

 

[1] BTW - Mrs Sarge passed her 6-month a few days back. Woot!

[jimmy]

go mrs sarge

[Markus]

.

[Evelyn]

I'm going to live in an invironment where many smoke, even inside and I don't care... at the beginning of my quit I might cared, but now I don't.

 

BE AN EXAMPLE!

 

Make them jealious let them see how freedom feels!