Please Tell Me......

[marie-quit]

So I blew my 3 day quit the other day. I instantly posted here that I blew it. So many of you came to my side offering advice, condolences ect. and I thank you all for that. I spent every day through Friday coming back here reading your post to me and other threads as well. I had not responded to your post or the about the "Blown Quit" as I was taking things in, reflecting and make decisions. So this morning I sat down to post and recommit to the quit and I could not access anything, I was logged in but was denied access. Thankfully an admin fixed whatever the problem was and now I am rolling again. However all of my post are gone.

 

On my post several of you posted that you saw it coming because I let the cigarettes (or thoughts of) control me. Not sure I have that worded the correct way. Basically my take away from your comments was that I "BLEW" my quit because I allowed myself to think about it. (Maybe that is romancing the cigarette not sure, I am a newbie and still need to do some more reading) Reading Allen Carr this weekend. 

 

So I wanted to know beyond having Quit Kit what else I could do. I am going back on the Train again tomorrow and I need to have things in place. But then I also feel like if I am preparing for the craves ect then am I allowing the cigarettes to control me. No sure that makes any sense. I had felt like I had done a great job getting through the 3 days. Posting here as I felt challenged ect. Yet some of you saw it coming and knew that I was going to BLOW my Quit. I want to understand what it is you saw. Please tell me I need to know. It might change my approach it might not but knowing could help. 

 

A little side note about this smoker. I am a closet smoker (I have no fantasies that people do not know people can smell) But I do not Smoke in my home or around people, ever. I can go to a party and not smoke until I get home and everyone is in bed. I can eat supper and not smoke until hours later. My triggers are stress and I can maintain for a long time.

 

So NOPE for me has to be Not One Pack Ever because that is the only way I will get a puff, if I buy a pack. I have no one to bum one from and as long as I do not buy a pack I will not smoke. 

 

So if you can enlighten in anyway please do. I have a quit kit and the only way I know how to work through strong urges to buy a pack is to acknowledge that I want it and talk myself through it. However, (and maybe this is vain) I need for others to know it and since I am a closet smoker then this is the place.  

 

Also someone posted that I might get mad about what they posted but they were going to post it anyway. I wish I could remember who it was because I wanted to let you know you did not make me mad at all. You had some very valid points. I read your post many times over the past couple of days. 

 

However someone did post that I was a Window Licker and I had to look that up. Not sure that is so nice but hey I teach teenagers I have been called worse. No harm no foul.

 

The individual that posted about the YOYO quitting that was very very helpful and I wish I had it to read over and over again. 

 

Thanks again for all your support and can not wait to ride the Train again. 

[scottinpa]

make a commitment to you, and your quit, and stick to it. You can do this!!!

 

I am sorry but have not been around much lately so I don't know your past history. But I can tell you that the above post certainly sounds both sincere, and from someone that is ready to quit. there is no exact science to this... you know what you need to do and you are apparently eager to do it. So what you do now is quit again, and never take another puff, {or buy another pack in your case}. It is not the easiest thing to do by any means, but you can definitely do it! Stop analyzing everything and just go back to the basics... dont ever light up again!! Not sure why you are waiting till tomorrow... quit right now!!!

 

know that you can do it!..

you are going to love being a non smoker.

 

Keep Posting!!!

[Ramona]

You say that you can go long periods of time without smoking but it's the stress that brings you back.  I am familiar with this.  I could always quit for 1 or 2 months with almost no problem.  My relapses occurred later on - when the craving took a surprise hit on me.  It was during these isolated events of major duress that I crawled back to my smokes.  

 

It's not important that you can go 5 hours smoke free after a meal or that you can go out for an entire night without a smoke.  You're still addicted and programmed to receive your nic-injection when you really want it.  You are a slave like the rest of us were slaves. You creep around and jack up your nicotine levels in the middle of a school day!!!  This does NOT sound fun.

 

Free yourself.

[Markus]

/

[Evelyn]

Stick with NOPE. no matter what no discussion possible that's what's pulles me through

[Pippa]

Hi Marie - from memory I think people were commenting that you were obsessing about the cigs and as a result you were not able to let go of the smoking thoughts ??

 

I think it is natural for us to think about smoking early on ... I mean we were addicted for so long. But what was important for me was to recognise the thought, acknowledge that it was happening and then move on ! Don't get me wrong - moving on wasn't always easy ... Sometimes I crawled, other times I cried and more than often there was a lot of yelling at hubby, but what I did everytime was reaffirm that I did not smoke, think back to why I quit in the first place and most importantly know that my will to quit was stronger than a short term crave !! I also used this board - not just SOS but random, often babbling posts - anything but smoke!

 

Others will be able to express this more eloquentlu than me! But I know you can do this ... You just have to believe and commit xx

[DCCXXVII]

So I blew my 3 day quit the other day..........

 

A little side note about this smoker. I am a closet smoker (I have no fantasies that people do not know people can smell) But I do not Smoke in my home or around people, ever. I can go to a party and not smoke until I get home and everyone is in bed. I can eat supper and not smoke until hours later. My triggers are stress and I can maintain for a long time..........

 

 

No you didn't blow your quit... you were doing what you always did... abstaining for a period of time

 

 

Hi Marie... I finally quit when I learnt one important fundamental principle about the law of addiction... then it all clicked into place for me 

 

 

"Administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment

of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

 

 

I believe that you will find your "sticky quit"... some of us take a few tries until we finally get it right... some get it first go

 

Once you understand the "law of addiction" you'll get why it is important to never take another puff/not one puff ever (ntap/nope)

 

hugs xx

[Tyme2B]

Hi Marie! Do you have another safeguard in place to deal with stress other than smoking? It seems that your own difficulty dealing with stress blew your quit if I remember correctly. I had to learn new ways of coping with stress. I chew gum & it helps but others have helpful suggestions. Stress is a trigger and we all thought smoking helped us deal with stress....it didn't really except in our minds.

Markus has given you solid advice as have the others. Welcome back!

[Markus]

.

[babs609]

I knew because when you posted....you kept referring to the cigarette as if it still held so much power over you.  You were abstaining from something that tempted you and you acknowledged that as a sacrifice rather than  having escaped the clutches of the addiction.  As if it was something you were missing.  You also knew 2 hours ahead of time that you were going to struggle.  Say you will struggle...and you will.  Eventually you will cave with an attitude like that.  Anybody would.

 

Glad you are back....glad you are doing your homework about nicotine addiction and glad you are asking questions so you can prevent the same thing from happening again.

 

Read...plan your date...and work that sticky quit for good....be done with it.

 

We are here

 

:)

[bakon]

I called you a window licker. You were given the golden rule and blew it. 

Not

One

Puff

Ever

 

 

How hard is that? Simplest way. One word. When you grasp that, doesn't matter reasons or wants, urges or stress, habit or social, closet or public....one word to quit.

NOPE

 

everything else is an excuse or validation....push or pull....struggle or enjoy the pain of the quit...up to you and anyone else who quits...you can say "Its so hard".  say it 20 times a day to us, someone will jump up and hold your hand,   Not me...I will say you got to decide not to puff, and live it. Its hard may be true but don't beat yourself with saying it....change it to something positive...its hard turns into "I am healing" with the change of attitude and mind set....then you will be quit and enjoying anything it throws at you....those feeling turn positive...then you move forward...its not absence of smoking that makes you a quitter....its liking not smoking that makes you NOT a Smoker...

[El Bandito]

Hey Marie

 

Welcome Back!

 

You have done the tough bit. You have faced up to yourself and taken the decision to quit.

 

Thats it. There is no more. 

 

You just don't smoke.

 

No silver bullets, magic secrets. Just don't smoke.

 

Shout. Scream. Stamp your feet. Eat your own bodyweight in M&Ms if you want. Just don't smoke.

 

Rejoice in the fact that you have made the decision to quit this destructive awful habit. Welcome the craves - they are signs that you are killing the addiction. Sing at the top of your voice.

 

Then get on with enjoying yourself free of the stinky, killer cigarettes.

 

You can do this Marie. Trust me. I know.

[Doreensfree]

Marie.....you have had brilliant advice from all the above....here is my input.....

You have to want to quit....having one foot out and one foot in....is not enough

You have to jump in with both feet....firmly on the ground...

I smoked 52 years...was it easy....of course not....I finger nailed it some days.....

But I hung on to NOPE....it's the only way.....and it really does get easier....

You can do it....we all did it....you just need to want it bad enough.....

Come on.....we will support you all the way....x