Okay bad temptation bad craving

[Evelyn]

My gf is coming soon and she smokes. I am ALREADY bloody craving. I don't WANT to smoke. JUST ONE??? Common there's no such thing as one! I got 4 months under my belt. I REALLY DONT wanna BLOW it!

Tips, idea's? ANYONE...? Besides let her smoke outside, anyway. Good my houshelp comes tomorrow and delt with smokers in her surronudings while quitting; she can help me!
 

I'm IN LOVE but don't want the stincky one!

[bakon]

Break up

[Evelyn]

Not an option, Bakon. I need to take this fight and come out as a winner :)

[Runfree]

Think about why you quit in the first place.  

 

And know this... NO RELATIONSHIP is worth you hurting yourself.  KTQ!

[Evelyn]

I know :) I need to talk to her about that!

[bakon]

Then she quits

[Evelyn]

Yup I'm gonna ask her that.

[Doreensfree]

Nothing or no one sweetheart...will make you throw away your fabulous 4 month smoke free....

I know you will stay strong....xx

[El Bandito]

Hey Evelyn.

 

1. Relax. You are not going to smoke.

2. Understand. Your GF is a smoker. Therefore she wants to quit. she might deny it - but deep down she does. We all wanted to quit.

3. Show her. Show her how much better life is. How much better you feel. How much healthier you are.

 

 

If they don't work.

 

Kick her ass.

 

You've got this Evelyn. ;)

[Evelyn]

Thanks Bandit! I just feel so insecure because last time when I relapsed every 20 minutes or so :( before this quit I also smoked again when she came to visit me. I can't make her quit but I want to STAY QUIT! Hell ya!

[babs609]

hold on Evelyn...change your thinking right now

 

My husband smokes...and when I look outside at him smoking...i am not tempted...I am sad.

 

that's all...that's the emotion.  Tempted to do what?  Kill myself?  slowly?  ingest poisons into my body?  no....not tempting at all....

tempted to put the shackles back on my wrists??   UM>...NO!!   Screw that....you are way way way way way way way beyond that. 

[El Bandito]

Thanks Bandit! I just feel so insecure because last time when I relapsed every 20 minutes or so :( before this quit I also smoked again when she came to visit me. I can't make her quit but I want to STAY QUIT! Hell ya!

You are welcome Evelyn.

 

ONLY YOU can choose to smoke again.

 

No one else is the boss of you.

 

You own the quit. 

You guard the quit.

You keep the quit.

 

Feel secure in the reality of your achievement Evelyn.

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Is she receptive to not smoking while visiting you? 

[Evelyn]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHp8yFnHbZQ

[Evelyn]

I'm going to ask if she's motivated to quit. She won't have to quit for ME but for herself!

[Evelyn]

She won't quit now, when after she moves to her appartment so it's gonna be MY big test she can smoke outside

[Runfree]

hold on Evelyn...change your thinking right now

 

My husband smokes...and when I look outside at him smoking...i am not tempted...I am sad.

 

that's all...that's the emotion.  Tempted to do what?  Kill myself?  slowly?  ingest poisons into my body?  no....not tempting at all....

tempted to put the shackles back on my wrists??   UM>...NO!!   Screw that....you are way way way way way way way beyond that. 

Love this.  So reaffirming and an example of how it can work.

[Evelyn]

hold on Evelyn...change your thinking right now

 

My husband smokes...and when I look outside at him smoking...i am not tempted...I am sad.

 

that's all...that's the emotion.  Tempted to do what?  Kill myself?  slowly?  ingest poisons into my body?  no....not tempting at all....

tempted to put the shackles back on my wrists??   UM>...NO!!   Screw that....you are way way way way way way way beyond that. 

 

Once I've conquered the first confrontation I have my conficence back

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

You can do this. you have FOUR MONTHS of freedom...thats HUGE!!!!

[babs609]

You can do this. you have FOUR MONTHS of freedom...thats HUGE!!!!

and you have 7 days....huge as well!  :)

[Toni]

Oh Evelyn, just talk to her and tell her you have to stay strong and keep your quit. If she is a good friend she will not smoke around you if it compromises you. Stay strong!!

[buMbLeB]

Once I've conquered the first confrontation I have my conficence back

 

Exactly this. Trigger exposures like this are a little bit like inoculations - shooting smallpox right into your arm is bad news, but a tiny little manageable bit trains your resistance muscles. So you will take your medicine. Watch her, when she smokes, and really remember. The building twitchy anticipation as she struggles with her next junkie deadline, until she surrenders. How she looks at her cigarette as it burns down toward the filter, growing more disgusting and toxic, and she debates whether it's worth one more drag before she comes back and starts the countdown over again. The way she smells when she comes inside, the constant coughing and throat-clearing she tries to suppress. Observe how she is forced to repeatedly poison herself, just to get back to "normal" for a few more minutes - the same normal that nonsmokers take for granted all the time. Will she watch you, also, as she smokes outside? What does her expression say? Does she wish she could quit, and stay inside with you? Or does she hope you will break down, and come smoke outside with her, because she doesn't think she can ever do it?

 

Babs is right. It's sad. Just like it was sad when we did it to ourselves, only we couldn't see it clearly then, the smoke got in our eyes. But Evelyn, that isn't you anymore. So look again. You'll see.

[beacon]

So, how is it going?

[Evelyn]

I'm confident I can beat this trigger :)

[Runfree]

Good deal Evelyn.  Maybe it was more of a "oh oh" moment and you just needed some time to think it all the way through.  I think we face those often early in our quits.