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[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

OMG you guys...its been a struggle today. I soooooooo want to go get some cigs. Why? I'm trying to examine why I feel the need so deeply today. I know the reasons not to....

 

It will start the whole thing over again. I wont stop at one cig or one pack.

I will have to go through the detox part again

I will have to start Hell Week over again, but if I hang on, tomorrow I will have one week smoke free

Why would I want to ruin that?
What do I REALLY want? 

Am I hungry? No

Am I lonely? No

Am I tired? Lil bit

Am I angry? No

Why do I want to smoke so bad....I'm alone in the house...roommate is out so no one would know.

I would know though. 

I can never keep relapses a secret (which is a good thing)

It stinks

It takes time away from my work and other activities

I just washed all my jackets

I used pretty smelling soap and shampoo

its expensive

My lungs are finally feeling clear

 

What will I gain from smoking right now?

this craving will go away---but will come back

I will feel I have my secret back...my friend back....

something to do...though I'm not bored so I dont know why that thought comes to mind

 

Help!

 

 

[beacon]

Deep breath, in out. You are going through the worst part this week. One hour at a time. Tough it out. Have you read the Easy Way to Quit Smoking?

[beacon]

This helped me.

 

http://youtu.be/5dbvckNVbK4

[beacon]

This is excellent. You should watch this and then read the book

 

http://youtu.be/jDJo1vfEqlo

[Colleen]

It's great that you are being honest with yourself and you are ruling out hunger and emotions.  It's not against the rules to struggle, in fact you are right where you need to be.  You want to quit and you don't want to go through hell week again, so you are going to keep going.  That cigarette was no friend of yours, it was a liar.  You know those type of friends that take and take and never give, the ones that used you?  That's what the cigarette was to you.  It made you stink, put holes in your clothes, stole your money, gave you grey skin and yellow nails.  Now what kind of friend would do that?  

 

[Runfree]

All normal and good on you for keeping the logic in the forefront...you don't want it, period.  Like you, I kept those mini-goals right in front of me and it really helped keep perspective, focus and the tenacity in check.

 

And you're right....YOU'll know if you threw away your quit.  And that's not something you want to recall as you reflect upon your day.  Keep the Quit.  You're doing great.

[Nancy]

Check this out, Michelle...such a good friend...

[Jenny]

Keep your quit!  Michelle, you have to quit eventually and there will never be a day when it doesn't suck in the beginning.  That said, doesn't it make more sense to just keep going rather than start again?  Get some hard candy, drink a cold glass of water, suck on a straw if you have to but don't smoke.  It gets better I promise.  If it didn't I would never have made it.

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

going upstairs to get a blow pop and maybe cry a bit lol

BRB

[REZ]

Hang in there! 

 

The nicotine monster is getting weaker and trying to trick you in to smoking!

 

You might feel like crap but the nicotine has pretty much left your body now and whats left is all in your head!

 

Feeling the crave means you are kicking the habit, you are stronger now and took back the control of your body

 

The crave only lasts a couple of minutes and nobody every got hurt from a crave!

 

Hit the wall, kick something, yell at the top of your voice, but please keep your quit!

 

 

 

Your at a weeks quit and you got through the hardest part so far! 

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Thanks everyone. I put my work away and I'm laying on my bed now with a blow pop in my mouth yum. Everything everyone said is right. It would be outrageous to start again now. I've done this since I was 17....quit, start, quit, start. Its time to stay quit.

 

I ***WILL*** feel better eventually. No one ever craved smoking forever. Its been with me all afternoon today but in varying intensities. But no one craves forever. It will go away. It will go away. It will go away. Someday I wont crave them at all. In 10-15 years I will have the same risk of lung cancer as a nonsmoker. Thats a long time to wait for the anxiety to go away but if I start again, then the part where the anxiety lessens gets farther and farther away.

 

Hopefully we have all talked me into chilling out. Gonna put a show or a movie on and do some reading on the site. Thank you so much.

[Runfree]

going upstairs to get a blow pop and maybe cry a bit lol

BRB

 

I cried often.  It's ok.  What you're doing is a monumental adjustment.  Crying is better than succumbing to the addiction.  And it's more attractive, lol.  No really, it is!

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

You got that right! Hey you have about the same amount of smoke free time as I have sober time. Cool! 

[Runfree]

We both have the 20th as a Quit date.  So does Joe but he has many moons under his belt.

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

wow you're right about that. And my clean/sober date is 12/7/14

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

four blowpops later I fear I'm now addicted to blowpops

[Petra]

Blow pops are better than cigs, and soon you won't crave either as much.  :)

 

I cried some too.  One day, I was literally on the floor bawling like a three year old.  It  didn't feel great at the time, but it felt AWESOME to not smoke.  I came to the Board and posted.  My quit friends got me through. 

 

The first few weeks have some dark moments, but there is light.  We promise. 

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Its pretty effing bleak right now. Trying not to swear. At least not on the board. Gosh I want to smoke SO bad

[Nicole Diver]

You were spot on when you said no one ever craved smoking forever. Sorry, if it were the case that the cravings never stopped, I'd either a) have relapsed or b ) be pretty friggin angry that I wasn't smoking.

It's all temporary, just gotta get through the early days! For a lot of us, we struggled. But it *is* doable.

[Ramona]

going upstairs to get a blow pop and maybe cry a bit lol

BRB

 

Yes!  Thus, my screen name!  To cry is to cleanse all the grief we have lodged deep within.  I cried for a literal day once - like, seriously - 24 hours.  The next day I felt fantastic -  I had purged all that emotional gunk.  And literal gunk - I coughed up serious phlegm balls that same day!  No exaggeration.

 

 

wow you're right about that. And my clean/sober date is 12/7/14

 

CONGRATS ON YOUR SOBRIETY!!!!  I think it's wonderful you are tackling these demons around the same time.  I've observed people meeting with much success when they use your method.  I was sober for 4 years before I attempted to quit smoking - that was 4 years of sober affiliations/triggers/reminders/associations THAT I NEVER NEEDED TO HAVE AND REMEMBER.  I feel like I made my quit a lot harder than it had to be.  Stay free now and you will have one, long glorious sobriety and smobriety!!!!

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

well YeeHaw. Always happy to meet another sober (formerly un-sober) person. Congratulations on your sobriety too! 

 

Smoking is so accepted in my recovery circle. It makes it difficult to remember how deadly it is when everyone around you treats it so casually. But we are both doing it!!!!

 

xoxo

[cpk]

You are in charge of your quit. If you consistently want to not smoke more than you want to smoke, then your quit is secure. If you secure your quit, nothing will shake it, not matter what comes along.

[Pippa]

Hey Michelle - I'm late again ... But just wanted to say - I think you did great analysing that crave and for asking for help .... Your quit is so much stronger for doing that ! Just one question ... What the heck is a blow pop ???

[Ramona]

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Its delicious madness, thats what it is!

 

Lollipop with a bubble gum center.  Essentially its tooth decay on a stick but its better than a cig!